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Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:16 am
by Mussels
When I worked in Canary wharf there was a similar issue with the toilets getting blocked, turned out someone was paranoid about touching the seat and would unravel several layers of toilet paper to wrap the seat. They ended up installing flushable seat covers to stop it.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:21 am
by Mr. Dazzle
gremlin wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 7:48 am
Some people are odd, to say the least.
I genuinely wonder at the psychology of such acts. I really wanna know what compels someone to shit on the floor

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:00 am
by gremlin
Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:21 am
gremlin wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 7:48 am
Some people are odd, to say the least.
I genuinely wonder at the psychology of such acts. I really wanna know what compels someone to shit on the floor
I'm friends with the cleaning staff, so get all the gossip...
The woman in question took offence when asked to use the loos on the other floors as they were closed for cleaning. A row ensued and she was told to apologise to the cleaner,who was just doing her job.
Apparently, her way of getting her own back, was to shit in the cubicle.
I'm told that she was fronted out as the head cleaner was covering one day, had just cleaned the loos, watched the serial shitter go in, then went back in to find a steaming log. As only one person had been in there, it didn't really need Poirot to figure it. Her contract was terminated with immediate effect.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:26 am
by Cousin Jack
Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:21 am
I genuinely wonder at the psychology of such acts. I really wanna know what compels someone to shit on the floor
You think that's bad? One office I worked in we had a serial seat shitter. This guy would regularly dribble liquid shit all over the seat, and just give it a smear with a piece of loo paper to make sure it was well distributed. I never found out who it was, but I had my suspicions.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:29 am
by Mr. Dazzle
I'm sure Freud would have much to say on the matter.
General disgust and confusion aside, I do wonder why.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:27 am
by DefTrap
Cousin Jack wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 9:26 am
You think that's bad? One office I worked in we had a serial seat shitter. This guy would regularly dribble liquid shit all over the seat, and just give it a smear with a piece of loo paper to make sure it was well distributed. I never found out who it was, but I had my suspicions.
I worked in a small office that typically housed 8 to 10 people max. One day I heard a kerfuffle and the female contingent were having a row - apparently someone had left a bit of turd on the loo-seat in the ladies and the search for the guilty bottom had extended beyond the 'quiet enquiries' stage. I dunno what line of investigation gets someone to openly confess being the culprit?

They all denied it, with increasing fury - if nobody is going to fess up then you're still on the list of suspects aren't you. Is it possible to shit on the seat and not notice?
Nobody went as far as to suggest either of the two geezers in the office crept into the ladies to shite on their warm seat.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:33 am
by Mr. Dazzle
At our place all the bogs are individual little rooms with locking doors. I wonder why we bother making them male and female, each one is 'single occupancy' so to speak.
Maybe it's to stop the blokes crapping on the wimmin's bog seats?

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:47 am
by gremlin
Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:33 am
At our place all the bogs are individual little rooms with locking doors. I wonder why we bother making them male and female, each one is 'single occupancy' so to speak.
Maybe it's to stop the blokes crapping on the wimmin's bog seats?
Unisex cubicles would kill the office affair in one fell swoop. That lovely blond lass in accounts? Once you've heard her farting and groaning to squeeze out a giant turd, stinking the entire place out then only giving a rudimentary splash of water of the finger tips...
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:57 am
by gremlin
Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:33 am
Maybe it's to stop the blokes crapping on the wimmin's bog seats?
I think all the evidence points to wimmin being the serial shitters. And Trinty has the nerve to moan about a splash of piss of the floor...

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:58 am
by Yorick
gremlin wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:57 am
Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:33 am
Maybe it's to stop the blokes crapping on the wimmin's bog seats?
I think all the evidence points to wimmin being the serial shitters. And Trinty has the nerve to moan about a splash of piss of the floor...
Very brave (or stupid) man

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:05 am
by Trinity765
I can hear you but I'm working at work so haven't got time to retort properly. You've not seen me, right

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:31 am
by McNab
Wait, if these people take a dump on the seat, what do they do with the paper they wipe their arses with? Do they go into a different stall to wipe or carefully slip it under the seat making sure it doesn't topple off?
I'm thinking too much into this, aren't I?

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:51 am
by gremlin
McNab wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:31 am
Wait, if these people take a dump on the seat, what do they do with the paper they wipe their arses with? Do they go into a different stall to wipe or carefully slip it under the seat making sure it doesn't topple off?
I'm thinking too much into this, aren't I?
You're confusing lid with seat. Shitting on the lid is amateur stuff. Getting that turd on the
seat without it falling off either into the pan or onto the floor, or
you falling off whilst perched crouching on the seat is taking up a notch.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:24 pm
by Pirahna
Why would anyone use a toilet, demons reside there. Shit in a bag and throw it out the window.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:26 pm
by Yambo
Potter wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:17 pm
gremlin wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:51 am
You're confusing lid with seat. Shitting on the lid is amateur stuff. Getting that turd on the
seat without it falling off either into the pan or onto the floor, or
you falling off whilst perched crouching on the seat is taking up a notch.
It's the mentality of a person that would do such a thing on purpose though.
If you have a toilet malfunction then that's bad enough, but what type of a person wouldn't clean it up? What must their houses look like?
Wilful and malicious shitting is surely a mental illness?
Surely it's just an office prank, although it could be ex-con IRA members reminiscing for the good ol' days.

Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:32 pm
by DefTrap
Toilet shittery seems to happen frequently enough in places where folk are bound to get found out (homes and offices) let alone the more public ones where the turd-perpetrator can scurry away.
So - they walk amongst us. It's probably you.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:37 pm
by David
Wasn't me Miss, 'onest.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:57 pm
by gremlin
DefTrap wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:32 pm
So - they walk amongst us. It's probably you.
Given the right amount of seafood I cut out the toilet completely and just shit my pants where I stand.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:05 pm
by Mussels
Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 10:33 am
At our place all the bogs are individual little rooms with locking doors. I wonder why we bother making them male and female, each one is 'single occupancy' so to speak.
Maybe it's to stop the blokes crapping on the wimmin's bog seats?
Women will moan a lot about the seat being left up, probably the same women that never close the lid.
Re: Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:44 pm
by Mr. Dazzle
Potter wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:17 pm
gremlin wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:51 am
You're confusing lid with seat. Shitting on the lid is amateur stuff. Getting that turd on the
seat without it falling off either into the pan or onto the floor, or
you falling off whilst perched crouching on the seat is taking up a notch.
It's the mentality of a person that would do such a thing on purpose though.
If you have a toilet malfunction then that's bad enough, but what type of a person wouldn't clean it up? What must their houses look like?
Wilful and malicious shitting is surely a mental illness?
Well yeah. this is why it piques my curiosity.
it's never occurred to me to take a crap on the floor*, yet this conversation suggests that it's not as uncommon as I'd have thought. So what aspect of the human condition and I missing here?
*but through a letterbox - of course, everyone has thought of that?