Jokes Thread
- Taipan
- Posts: 13951
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 15964 times
- Been thanked: 10249 times
- gremlin
- Posts: 5930
- Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:12 pm
- Location: Kent (AKA God's own country)
- Has thanked: 810 times
- Been thanked: 4805 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Just cut through an electric cable. I think it's just a phase I'm going through.
All aboard the Peckham Pigeon! All aboard!
-
- Posts: 485
- Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2022 11:43 pm
- Has thanked: 459 times
- Been thanked: 235 times
-
- Posts: 2527
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:37 pm
- Location: Layer-de-la-Haye
- Has thanked: 2248 times
- Been thanked: 1242 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Lol, just noticed thatwesters151 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 08, 2023 6:56 pmThat would be worth sharing if they spelt scouser correctly.
- Taipan
- Posts: 13951
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 15964 times
- Been thanked: 10249 times
- weeksy
- Site Admin
- Posts: 23427
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 12:08 pm
- Has thanked: 5452 times
- Been thanked: 13097 times
Re: Jokes Thread
They’ve just announced another suspect from the Operation Yewtree investigation. Morph has been outed as a playdohphile.
- weeksy
- Site Admin
- Posts: 23427
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 12:08 pm
- Has thanked: 5452 times
- Been thanked: 13097 times
Re: Jokes Thread
I got sacked from the Salvation Army soup kitchen. All I said was ‘hurry up, some of us have homes to go to’
- Yorick
- Posts: 16750
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
- Location: Paradise
- Has thanked: 10271 times
- Been thanked: 6887 times
-
- Posts: 3949
- Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
- Has thanked: 485 times
- Been thanked: 1428 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Someone flytipped their mattress outside my house.
I don't know how they sleep at night.
I don't know how they sleep at night.
- Skub
- Posts: 12171
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 5:32 pm
- Location: Norn Iron
- Has thanked: 9834 times
- Been thanked: 10147 times
Re: Jokes Thread
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
- Taipan
- Posts: 13951
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 15964 times
- Been thanked: 10249 times
- Yambo
- Posts: 2470
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:08 pm
- Location: Self Isolating
- Has thanked: 598 times
- Been thanked: 1647 times
Re: Jokes Thread
It's a tradition in my family to have a Christmas jumper.
I usually get the job of talking them down.
I usually get the job of talking them down.
- weeksy
- Site Admin
- Posts: 23427
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 12:08 pm
- Has thanked: 5452 times
- Been thanked: 13097 times
-
- Posts: 3949
- Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
- Has thanked: 485 times
- Been thanked: 1428 times
Re: Jokes Thread
I was bored so l swapped all the sweets into different wrappers.
My wife isn't amused, she got her Snickers in a Twix.
My wife isn't amused, she got her Snickers in a Twix.
-
- Posts: 1882
- Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 5:14 pm
- Location: Another day without using algebra
- Has thanked: 65 times
- Been thanked: 1235 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Not saying things are tough financially now, but I opened my advent calendar door this morning and a bailiff was there.
- Taipan
- Posts: 13951
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 15964 times
- Been thanked: 10249 times
- Yorick
- Posts: 16750
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
- Location: Paradise
- Has thanked: 10271 times
- Been thanked: 6887 times
- Horse
- Posts: 11558
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
- Location: Always sunny southern England
- Has thanked: 6196 times
- Been thanked: 5088 times
-
- Posts: 3949
- Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
- Has thanked: 485 times
- Been thanked: 1428 times
Re: Jokes Thread
A 3 foot 3 inch man knocked on my door this morning.
I said 'Who are you?'
He replied 'I'm the meter man'
I said 'Who are you?'
He replied 'I'm the meter man'
- Noggin
- Posts: 8030
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
- Location: Ski Resort
- Has thanked: 16222 times
- Been thanked: 3927 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!!