Things your other half says

[Sadlonelygit]

We tried keyless but she struggled with the hand crank on the Model T.

Kids these days....

Don't cross your thumbs!
Nowadays, if someone got out at the lights with a cranking handle you'd shit yourself, back when I were a lad tho'.
My old Rover 90 and S2 LR required the use of the handle on more than 1 occasion. S'funny but no-one used to get arsey with you when you're carrying 5lbs of starting steel!

[Buckaroo]

My friends dad bought him a Wolsey to get to college and back. Using the starting handle one morning, whilst we stood watching and worrying about being late, the bastard thing kicked back and broke his wrist.

We were very late and he was absent!

[Horse]

"What's that lump on your arm? Oh, it's a muscle."

FFS that's the gym membership being cancelled ...

[Taipan]

I was rudely awoken this morning by sensing a presence in front of me. I opened my eyes to see my phone a foot from my face and my wife behind it! It made me jump and I said wtf are you doing! My wife replied I'm buying a bag on amazon and I need get into your prime account!

[DefTrap]

I was rudely awoken this morning by sensing a presence in front of me. I opened my eyes to see my phone a foot from my face and my wife behind it! It made me jump and I said wtf are you doing! My wife replied I'm buying a bag on amazon and I need get into your prime account!

I caught my SIL grinning at her phone the other day, like making that particular face would improve her chances of accessing it using facial recognition.

[ZRX61]

I was rudely awoken this morning by sensing a presence in front of me.

My wolves would do that in the middle of the night. I'd open my eyes to a big wet nose about 2inches from my face.

[Taipan]

Three times this week I’ve had to collect parcels for the wife. She’s just informed me there’s another one. To collect. So I said Jesus you and your parcels. She said I Know, anyone would think I had a motorbike!

[Rockburner]

Interesting one from last night...

She tried to persuade me that pop-rivets didn't need pre-drilled holes and made their own.

[Docca]

This morning:

‘People don’t tend to do titty fucking anymore- it seemed all at rage in the ‘80s and ‘90s and now you never see it. Not even in porn’


Made me look up from my muesli.

[Felix]

I was rudely awoken this morning by sensing a presence in front of me. I opened my eyes to see my phone a foot from my face and my wife behind it! It made me jump and I said wtf are you doing! My wife replied I'm buying a bag on amazon and I need get into your prime account!

I gave in and gave her the password. TBF she is 90% good at paying back into my bank but i still get ping, ping on the purchases and bank app telling me i have been paid.

[Count Steer]

I was rudely awoken this morning by sensing a presence in front of me. I opened my eyes to see my phone a foot from my face and my wife behind it! It made me jump and I said wtf are you doing! My wife replied I'm buying a bag on amazon and I need get into your prime account!

I gave in and gave her the password. TBF she is 90% good at paying back into my bank but i still get ping, ping on the purchases and bank app telling me i have been paid.

Mine just sends me an email with Amazon links and 'Can you order me these please. Ta.'

Another one is 'My car's getting low on petrol. If you're going anywhere near........etc'.

(Payment comes out of joint account).

[Mr. Dazzle]

You know you can link accounts so you both get prime perks, right?

[Yorick]

My wife honestly thought police Panda cars were Fiat Pandas

[Horse]

My wife honestly thought police Panda cars were Fiat Pandas

Three local village bobbies out on the Downs shared an original 4x4 Panda. It looked like a Tonka toy.


But when, days after being introduced, it bounced across a ploughed field, poachers were so surprised that they didn't try to get away!

[Count Steer]

You know you can link accounts so you both get prime perks, right?

I know, but our system works a treat for us. She'll put 'Urgent' or 'No rush' so it means only one of us is managing the cash flow/joint account and only one of us is managing delivery dates etc.

On the Panda car front, back in the 70s someone thought Hillman Imps were a suitable vehicle for Gateshead Old Bill. The sight of pale blue Hilly Imps with 4 large uniformed plod in (I actually saw this!) made the arrest figures rise - as the perps all collapsed, helpless with laughter.

[David]

SWMBO'd is being taken into the town to choose some glasses.
About a mile into the journey, she points at the car in front and exclaims "he has a yellow number plate!"
There is an amount of leg pulling as I suggest someone must have painted it for a joke untill we see the back of another car and she exclaims "theres another!" and i realise she is serious. She has been driving for 52 years , and owned many cars.

[Count Steer]

For balance, two things my wife never lets me forget.

1. Her and her mother showed me a house that was being advertised for sale. It had a 'keeping cellar'.

Me 'Why are they keeping the cellar?'

(I'd never heard the term before).

2. Sat at Victoria station and a load of blokes dressed like traditional Germans were doing a bit of whooping and larking about.

Her: 'They've probably been to the Munich Beer Festival'.
Me: 'Where's that then?'

(I couldn't link a London station with Germany in the instant and wondered if there was a festival in London to celebrate German beer).

[JackyJoll]

We tried keyless but she struggled with the hand crank on the Model T.

Kids these days....

Don't cross your thumbs!
Nowadays, if someone got out at the lights with a cranking handle you'd shit yourself, back when I were a lad tho'.
My old Rover 90 and S2 LR required the use of the handle on more than 1 occasion. S'funny but no-one used to get arsey with you when you're carrying 5lbs of starting steel!

You look (and feel) even stupider walking round to the back of your Hillman Imp or Renault 10 with the handle.

[KungFooBob]

"if work offered me redundancy, I'd say So Long and Thanks For all the Fish"

I asked her if she knew where the phrase came from, her response "it's from Flipper".

she glazed over at "Vogon Constructor Fleet" when I tried to explain the source.

[Yorick]

"if work offered me redundancy, I'd say So Long and Thanks For all the Fish"

I asked her if she knew where the phrase came from, her response "it's from Flipper".

she glazed over at "Vogon Constructor Fleet" when I tried to explain the source.

I'm glazed over tambien