Things children say

[irie]

Grandchild aged 4.

"How old do you have to be to say fuck?"

Wife: "20 years old".

"OK".

Collapsed laughing in another room.

[Skub]

When my eldest was very small he was into his Thomas the Tank Engine and one Xmas he was playing with them at my very religious Aunt's house. She was asking him the names of the various characters,which was all going well until she pointed to 'the fat controller' and asked him who that was.

His infant pronunciation caused the reply to be Fackin Troller.

Cue a deathly silence,followed by a flustered Mrs.Skub lamely attempting an explanation,while I attempted to show no visible signs of pissing myself laughing.

[irie]

Wife was today playing making animals with air drying modelling clay with same grand daughter.

Grand daughter made a long green snake with a single brown blob at one end.

Wife asked "What's that?"

Reply was "It's a one eyed snake".

I cleared off and collapsed laughing in another room.

[Horse]

Foal, aged about 6, in the back of the car.

"Daddy, we don't say fuck off, do we? We say go away."

[Saga Lout]

It's a funny thread...

But "Current Affairs, Politics, News"?

[irie]

It's a funny thread...

But "Current Affairs, Politics, News"?

Well, let's see.

It's definitely "Off topic" so in which of these other off-topic forums do you otherwise believe this thread belongs?

Cycling / Running / Gym / Rowing / Exercise

Shed / DIY / workshop

Computers, iPads, Android, Technology, IT, audio, video etc

Chefs, cooking, BBQ, foodies

Your call.

[Saga Lout]

It's a funny thread...

But "Current Affairs, Politics, News"?

Well, let's see.

It's definitely "Off topic" so in which of these other off-topic forums do you otherwise believe this thread belongs?

Cycling / Running / Gym / Rowing / Exercise

Shed / DIY / workshop

Computers, iPads, Android, Technology, IT, audio, video etc

Chefs, cooking, BBQ, foodies

Your call.

I'd have thought it belongs in General Mayhem. But what do I know?

[irie]

If you want to move the thread somewhere else then ask Weeksy, no probs.

[Bigjawa]

6yo daughter has zero filter, just like me, we're in the shop and this bloke is basically yelling into his phone, Dom Joly style. She looks at me, points at him and announces loudly "Dickhead!!!" Place went silent then folk started laughing and the bloke cleared off.

She was in the school minibus, when a slow moving car held them up. Apparently she said "He couldn't drive his finger up his hole" to her teacher. Ex gave me hell for it.

[irie]

6yo daughter has zero filter, just like me, we're in the shop and this bloke is basically yelling into his phone, Dom Joly style. She looks at me, points at him and announces loudly "Dickhead!!!" Place went silent then folk started laughing and the bloke cleared off.

She was in the school minibus, when a slow moving car held them up. Apparently she said "He couldn't drive his finger up his hole" to her teacher. Ex gave me hell for it.

Pure quality, you're learning her good.

[Saga Lout]

When my son was about 11 or 12, he told me he'd been playing cricket at school. I asked him how many runs he's scored, expecting him to say he hadn't had a chance to bat or that they'd been doing catching practice or something but he said "About two". A minute or so later I processed what he'd said:
"Hang on. If you scored two runs you'd know exactly how many you scored. How many runs did you really score?"
"Erm... one" he said.