Jokes Thread

[gremlin]

/** Comes in looking to see a new joke, backs away quietly when he realises they're still being plane geeks **/

Do we need a new Jokes thread if this one is broken ?

Don't worry. We'll be gone soon, having packed our Thermos flasks and sandwiches to stand outside some remote airfield with binoculars and radios.

Anybody seen my anorak?

[Yorick]

/** Comes in looking to see a new joke, backs away quietly when he realises they're still being plane geeks **/

Do we need a new Jokes thread if this one is broken ?

I'll turn it off and on again. Back in 2 mins..

[Ditchfinder]

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere? "

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby"*

I trust this clears up any confusion.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.

[Horse]

/** Comes in looking to see a new joke, backs away quietly when he realises they're still being plane geeks **/

Do we need a new Jokes thread if this one is broken ?

I'll turn it off and on again. Back in 2 mins..

Oh god. If it's going to be with your definition of jokes, leave it broken, please.

[Saga Lout]

/** Comes in looking to see a new joke, backs away quietly when he realises they're still being plane geeks **/

Do we need a new Jokes thread if this one is broken ?

Don't blame me, I just posted the picture. It doesn't take a genius to guess what the planes are called. I guessed of course but I'm sure any of you lesser intellects could have done it.

[MrLongbeard]

it's not a gun, it's a GAU-8 Avenger Auto Cannon.

I'm not a saddo for knowing that, right?

And I've got 2 fired cartridges with fake projectiles on my book case but then the A10 is my fave modern day aeroplane, with the mosquito my fave olde time aeroplane

[slowsider]

it's not a gun, it's a GAU-8 Avenger Auto Cannon.

I'm not a saddo for knowing that, right?

And I've got 2 fired cartridges with fake projectiles on my book case but then the A10 is my fave modern day aeroplane, with the mosquito my fave olde time aeroplane

Your idea of modern day is dated First flight in 1972.

[MrLongbeard]

it's not a gun, it's a GAU-8 Avenger Auto Cannon.

I'm not a saddo for knowing that, right?

And I've got 2 fired cartridges with fake projectiles on my book case but then the A10 is my fave modern day aeroplane, with the mosquito my fave olde time aeroplane

Your idea of modern day is dated First flight in 1972.

OK, current day then, even though they keep trying to bin it

[KungFooBob]

IIRC they've just approved an modernisation exercise to make them last another 10 years as it was cheaper than making the F35 more suitable.

[MrLongbeard]

IIRC they've just approved an modernisation exercise to make them last another 10 years as it was cheaper than making the F35 more suitable.

New wings are supposed to see them right until at least 2030

[ZRX61]

In the 70s, about 1972 or 1973, I was on a target towing boat in the North Sea. The boat towed a device that created a fountain of water as a target for aircraft to shoot at. I can't say I was scared but watching a Buccaneer heading straight for you and firing it's rockets is certainly impressive.

Dad was an RN gunnery Chief. Destroyer off Portland & tug with a towed target on the end of a LONG cable. First sighting shot hit the shackle on the target & parted the cable. "I think we're done here"

[MrLongbeard]

Just as a favour I delivered two huge rolls of bubble wrap to a factory today for a mate who was too busy, he loaned me the van, so fair enough.

When I got there I asked the factory supervisor what he wanted me to do with it. "Just pop it over there in that corner" he said!
Well, five bloody hours it took and my thumbs are killing me!

[Yorick]

The last 7 or 8 jokes haven't been very funny

[KungFooBob]

The last 7 or 8 jokes haven't been very funny

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da (joke) police!

[Yorick]

The last 7 or 8 jokes haven't been very funny

Woop-woop! That's the sound of da (joke) police!

Wooooooosh

[Saga Lout]

The last 7 or 8 jokes haven't been very funny

I'm not too keen on yours.

[slowsider]

In the 70s, about 1972 or 1973, I was on a target towing boat in the North Sea. The boat towed a device that created a fountain of water as a target for aircraft to shoot at. I can't say I was scared but watching a Buccaneer heading straight for you and firing it's rockets is certainly impressive.

Dad was an RN gunnery Chief. Destroyer off Portland & tug with a towed target on the end of a LONG cable. First sighting shot hit the shackle on the target & parted the cable. "I think we're done here"

I heard the probably apocryphal story of a target-towing aircraft pilot coming over the range radio to check that the gunners knew he was pulling not pushing...

[Tricky]

[JackyJoll]

[Taipan]