The "Being a Pillock" Thread

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Noggin
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Noggin »

Just remembered this one

A couple of seasons, I regularly noticed signs saying "Don de Sang" (might have been du Sang) and a date, place and time (normally evening).

I saw this "band" advertised everywhere, a few times a week in different villages


Was only last winter I realised it was a sign to Give Blood, not some little cult local band!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by David »

1888 wrote: Tue Aug 25, 2020 11:06 pm Took a mate with me to Germany. Hour into getting over the Dutch/German border he says "This Ausgang is a big town is it not?"
Swmbo'd kept asking why we couldnt to the other supermarkt rather than albert Hjein...which says i....and she points out the road sign " andere richtingen", which to be fair you see a lot.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

1888 wrote: Sun Sep 06, 2020 10:03 pm Bought a petrol mower out B&Q during the week. Yesterday was the first chance to get it out the box. Stuck handle on and fuel'd up and away i went. Got two lengths of the garden and it died. How was i to know it never came with oil in it :D In my defence the last one i got from them (Same brand) Did have oil so i presumed this one did. Anyway i took it back and bullshitted an exchange :thumbup:
Reminds me of the sticker on Triumphs in the showroom.

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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Rockburner »

1888 wrote: Tue Aug 25, 2020 11:06 pm Took a mate with me to Germany. Hour into getting over the Dutch/German border he says "This Ausgang is a big town is it not?"
A person I know was once surprised to realise, while wandering a street in New York, at how large and international the residence rental company "To Let" are.
non quod, sed quomodo
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by moth »

Rockburner wrote: Sun Sep 06, 2020 10:29 pm
1888 wrote: Tue Aug 25, 2020 11:06 pm Took a mate with me to Germany. Hour into getting over the Dutch/German border he says "This Ausgang is a big town is it not?"
A person I know was once surprised to realise, while wandering a street in New York, at how large and international the residence rental company "To Let" are.
But, strangely, they're not very common in non-English speaking countries...
Proud Tory scum since 1974.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Jody »

1888 wrote: Tue Aug 25, 2020 11:06 pm Took a mate with me to Germany. Hour into getting over the Dutch/German border he says "This Ausgang is a big town is it not?"
I did exactly that, except it was "Ausfahrt" !!??
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Yorick »

Guess who grabbed the hot shaft of a soldering iron today ?
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by MingtheMerciless »

Yorick wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:23 pm Guess who grabbed the hot shaft of a soldering iron today ?
At work we call that the soldering iron test. It is used on graduate students. We plug it in and allow it too warm before asking the student to pass it to the technician, if they pick it up correctly they are destined for a role in maintenance and if they burn themselves then the world of project "management" looms.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by DefTrap »

Yorick wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:52 pm I'd left the duvet behind.
Isn't a duvet like a tenner in Tesco?
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Yorick »

DefTrap wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:31 pm
Yorick wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:52 pm I'd left the duvet behind.
Isn't a duvet like a tenner in Tesco?
It was about 8:00 on a Sunday night.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by DefTrap »

Yorick wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:23 pm Guess who grabbed the hot shaft of a soldering iron today ?
I trod on a hot soldering iron in bare feet (like you in warm climes I tend to go shoeless as often as possible) when rewiring the bike.

Fooking hurt, surprising how long it takes for the brain to register your foot is cooking.

Later on, I did it again.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Saga Lout »

Yorick wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:46 pm
weeksy wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:14 pm Went to Forest of Dean today. About an hour into the drive there I got a call from the wife

"Are your dropper posts supposed to be in your bikes??"

Oh FFS.
For us thickos. What are dropper posts ?
Thank you for asking that question so the rest of us thickos don't have to. :thumbup:
Horse wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:51 pm
Yorick wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:46 pm
weeksy wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:14 pm Went to Forest of Dean today. About an hour into the drive there I got a call from the wife

"Are your dropper posts supposed to be in your bikes??"

Oh FFS.
For us thickos. What are dropper posts ?
Things wot you leave at home. Can't you read? ;)
Thank you for not answering the question. :thumbdown:
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

According to the first hit I get on Google a dropper post is:

"a must-have these days if you're riding anything remotely technical".

HTH.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Mussels »

Mr. Dazzle wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:24 pm According to the first hit I get on Google a dropper post is:

"a must-have these days if you're riding anything remotely technical".

HTH.
Ah, a motorbike then.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Bike Breaker »

Saga Lout wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 9:08 pm
Yorick wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:46 pm
weeksy wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:14 pm Went to Forest of Dean today. About an hour into the drive there I got a call from the wife

"Are your dropper posts supposed to be in your bikes??"

Oh FFS.
For us thickos. What are dropper posts ?
Thank you for asking that question so the rest of us thickos don't have to. :thumbup:
Horse wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:51 pm
Yorick wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2020 6:46 pm

For us thickos. What are dropper posts ?
Things wot you leave at home. Can't you read? ;)
Thank you for not answering the question. :thumbdown:
They kindly left it for me to show my (limited) knowledge back in August when I answered the question.
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Saga Lout »

Bike Breaker wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:10 amThey kindly left it for me to show my (limited) knowledge back in August when I answered the question.
Yeah, my mistake. I realised after I'd posted that I was commenting on a couple of rather old posts. If I'd noticed straight away I'd have deleted it but I didn't, so I didn't. :)
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by slowsider »

Doddery old fucker.





;)
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by Saga Lout »

slowsider wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:01 pm Doddery old fucker.

;)
Guilty as charger. What's your excuse?

;)
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by slowsider »

Saga Lout wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 10:37 pm
slowsider wrote: Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:01 pm Doddery old fucker.

;)
Guilty as charger. What's your excuse?

;)
There, but for the grace of cod ... :thumbup:
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Re: The "Being a Pillock" Thread

Post by ZRX61 »

inewham wrote: Thu Mar 04, 2021 8:04 pm When I was a BT apprentice I got into an argument and the other lad really lost it and grabbed a 50W iron to threaten me with, the big chunky ones we soldered tag blocks with. In a fit of rage it took a few seconds and the smell of burning flesh before he realised he was holding the hot end while he waved it at me.
Made him squeal a bit :wtf:
When I lived in London I had some muppet threaten me with a huge knife (like Crocodile Dundee size). I noticed he wasn't holding it correctly & grabbed it out of his hand. So now the situation was reversed & I had the big knife. What does he do? The dumbass grabbed it by the blade so the sharp edge was between his thumb & pointy finger. He bled like a stuck pig & damn near lost his thumb when I simply pulled the knife out of his grip. He had a change of heart of that point & went of his way.