Pension stuff, how's it all looking ? HAve you prepared ?

[Mr. Dazzle]

ISTR Big NIge from VD had plastic nads as a result of Cancer? And a squeaky voice too, but I don't think that was related.

[Horse]

It's more getting people comfortable to talk. If it happens in the pub (remember them ... ?) - no need for visual aids - then a chorus of 'see your GP - is likely.

[Horse]

ISTR Big NIge from VD had plastic nads as a result of Cancer?

Apparently your tackle then floats in the bath.

Re pub conversations, we had the '3 ball club' Actually things such as a cyst.

[Taipan]

From sharing pension plans to sharing bollocks. Only on here!

[Horse]

From sharing pension plans to sharing bollocks. Only on here!

Well, live to enjoy your retirement and an excuse to grope your own tackle

[Yorick]

There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of differing sizes
One was so small
It was no ball at all,
But the other was huge and won prizes

[slowsider]

and you've seen this ? What's wrong with you ! Why are you even discussion bollock sizes with mates !

A lot of blokes, who could have survived, die of testicular cancer.

Talking 'bollocks' is important. Not just on here

I get you to an extent. But that's more for the Doc rather than sitting in Wetherspoons and getting your bollox out on the table and declaring "look at the size of my giant bollock"

Pah you think that's big? Have a look at this one

[Wreckless Rat]

Reminds me of a friend. He had bollock cancer in one when he was quite young, teens, so they removed it. His other bollock grew massive, and he now has only one ball but, I kid you not, it's the size of a large orange.

and you've seen this ? What's wrong with you ! Why are you even discussion bollock sizes with mates !

Hey dude... if you have a good mate who has been through that, trust me, you too would have seen it. Meh... I've seen blokes balls etc in showers, that doesn't make you a homo.... sucking another man's cock, or pushing back does, ask Iccy.

[JackyJoll]

You’re a hyperbolic

I had one of those. Excision sorted it.

Reminds me of a friend. He had bollock cancer in one when he was quite young, teens, so they removed it. His other bollock grew massive, and he now has only one ball but, I kid you not, it's the size of a large orange.

But does it taste of orange?

[Wreckless Rat]

I had one of those. Excision sorted it.

Reminds me of a friend. He had bollock cancer in one when he was quite young, teens, so they removed it. His other bollock grew massive, and he now has only one ball but, I kid you not, it's the size of a large orange.

But does it taste of orange?

That reminds me of Hangover 2 "tastes like Shitake"

Anyway, back on topic or Weeksy is gona get pissed with side chat and bants

[weeksy]

Reminds me of a friend. He had bollock cancer in one when he was quite young, teens, so they removed it. His other bollock grew massive, and he now has only one ball but, I kid you not, it's the size of a large orange.

But does it taste of orange?

That reminds me of Hangover 2 "tastes like Shitake"

Anyway, back on topic or Weeksy is gona get pissed with side chat and bants

Lol not at all. Crack on.

[Noggin]

But does it taste of orange?

That reminds me of Hangover 2 "tastes like Shitake"

Anyway, back on topic or Weeksy is gona get pissed with side chat and bants

Lol not at all. Crack on.

You're encouraging them to talk about cracks as well as balls???

[Horse]

I had one of those. Excision sorted it.

Reminds me of a friend. He had bollock cancer in one when he was quite young, teens, so they removed it. His other bollock grew massive, and he now has only one ball but, I kid you not, it's the size of a large orange.

But does it taste of orange?

When you find out, be sure not to post the answer. You'll spoil the fun for someone.

[Potter]

I bet all of you know at least one person who has had bollock cancer.

I'd never heard of it until I was 19yrs old and was watching the James Whale radio show, there was a feature about it. Long story short is I checked my balls and one had a lump, it was cancer. If I hadn't been watching that show I'd very likely be dead. A bloke I worked with on a site in Barrow died of it.

Because of what happened to me my mate mentioned it to me a few years later, said he had a lump, I told him to go check it out and he had cancer.
He was locally well known and did a big PR thing on it in the newspapers, I've no doubt it saved lives.

My boy came to me last year (when he was 16) - "Dad I've got a lump on my bollocks" - we went to the doctor that day. Turned out it was just a bit of inflammation and nothing to worry about, but I'm glad we can talk about stuff like that without him feeling silly, it might save his life one day.

So I'm happy to go back to piss-taking, but have a feel of your balls, or your mates balls if you're so inclined, it might be the best thing you do today

[Potter]

Hey dude... if you have a good mate who has been through that, trust me, you too would have seen it. Meh... I've seen blokes balls etc in showers, that doesn't make you a homo....

Years ago I was home from the army and at the local sports club, at the time the showers were just big mixed showers. I'm getting a shower and this old bloke comes in with a big white beard and starts to shower, then says to me "Hey, look at these, I've got some proper balls on me, have a look" - I had a look and indeed he did have an impressive sack of spuds, so I just agreed and carried on showering, it didn't seem that unusual because I was used to army humour.

But I've occasionally remembered the moment and wondered if he wanted to bum me (he never tried) or he was just really proud of his bollocks

Perhaps that's where he kept his pension.

[Wreckless Rat]

Never have worked out why some men think seeing another mans junk makes you gay.

One night me and a mate went out on the pull, as you do aged early 20s. We both ended up back at some scallys house with a bird each . Half way through the night my mate bursts in blood gushing from his cock,,

“Mate I’ve bust my cock, is pissing blood everywhere and won’t stop bleeding, what the fuck am I going to do”

“Lol - let’s have a look”

He had snapped his banjo string

Took him to hospital where they stitched it up.

I’ve never laughed so much in all my life. Still, didn’t turn me homo and if he kept his pension there, he wasn’t dining on lobster in his old age....

[Horse]

Never have worked out why some men think seeing another mans junk makes you gay.

Same - but opposite with going to the Drs "Oh no, wouldn't want to show my bits to a woman doctor!"

Ah, ok, so you'd prefer to show them to a bloke?

"Err no ... "

[Wreckless Rat]

Never have worked out why some men think seeing another mans junk makes you gay.

Same - but opposite with going to the Drs "Oh no, wouldn't want to show my bits to a woman doctor!"

Ah, ok, so you'd prefer to show them to a bloke?

"Err no ... "

I’ve had some medical issues with my nuts - not cancer but cysts - and had them (the cysts) removed. They made my balls ache like fuck, I would have shown them to a trained monkey if it meant they got fixed.

As it goes my dr at the time was a stunning early 30s red head. I was more worried about getting a lob on while she squeezed them, but that wasn’t even a worry in the end.

The consultant at the hospital was a Mr Khan... a browny gentleman with a string Asian accent. So what... he done what he needed to do.

I guess I’m not shy like that, never have been really. You have what you have, we all have sex organs - either male or female. Perhaps that’s one advantage of being a country inbred.

[Horse]

I’ve had some medical issues with my nuts - not cancer but cysts - and had them (the cysts) removed. They made my balls ache like fuck, I would have shown them to a trained monkey if it meant they got fixed.

As it goes my dr at the time was a stunning early 30s red head. I was more worried about getting a lob on while she squeezed them, but that wasn’t even a worry in the end.

The consultant at the hospital was a Mr Khan... a browny gentleman with a string Asian accent. So what... he done what he needed to do.

For my hydrocele, I was referred to a consultant. This was during the death throes of the local Victorian era hospital and maintenance was not being done. In fact, his room was in a 'terrapin' type hut out the back.

Obviously the main concern is 'is it cancer?', which would be a solid mass, while a hydrocele is fluid. So a useful diagnosis is to shine a bright light (a torch will do) through.

The hut had high windows. The venetian blinds jammed and wouldn't close.

Consultant ended up under a blanket, like an early photographer

Next off, to confirm, was ultrasound, at the nearest big hospital. By now it's September and the weather's starting to cool. 20+ miles in all the gear. Arrive, told to change in a cubicle, put on the standard open-at-the back gown, dressing gown over the top. Just finished when the door burst open and a little old lady was pushed in. Apparently it was my fault for leaving a key in the outside of the door.

In for the scan. Copius jelly applied. Prod scan prod scan confusion. No right side testicle?

Eventually found it.

"It's not daft" I said "It's cold today, so it's staying up the warm end".

[JackyJoll]

Never have worked out why some men think seeing another mans junk makes you gay.

It’s if you see it and like what you see!