Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Scotsrich]

Didn’t really wind me up I just laughed.

Coming home from Edinburgh on the A1 there’s the near side lane closed. At the MILE sign a single line queue has formed.

Of course being a sensible driver I just scooted up the empty near side lane and merged in at the 200 yard marker, and even that was early. Highway Code folks.

[Silly Car]

Mandatory e-learning

Shit-loads (25 modules) of it

But, luckily, there's a 'test only' option.

Well, if you have enough common sense to work things out, do we need to be tested?

Here's an example Q and answer:
Q. Under 'Prevent' duty, workers need to ...?

One of the options:
- Ignore their duty

My annual testing and any remedial reading / re-testing is due between 16th Dec and 31st Jan, my last attempts (and passes) are in my exam log with the ability to export previous exam questions / answers to PDF, which I may do as ‘revision’ I can’t imagine the question pool is vast enough that there won’t be a large degree of cross over

[Jody]

Drinking.
I've been out twice recently with friends, I feel like I had a good time, and the first few hours were good clean fun.
But then I don't remember barely anything from the last 2-3 hours.
I feel rough today
and I once again have 'beer fear". I'm worried I may have said the wrong thing or told the wrong joke and upset someone!.
I sent a few apology messages after last time, thankfully the responses amounted to "no apology needed".

I stopped alcohol completely for over 6 weeks in the summer and I did similar last year. But I'm a lot more likely to go to a bar here and having been sober in a bar, it's zero fun, my friends are not as funny and the bands are not as good ! So I don't want to stop drinking completely.
I really need to get a handle on knowing when to switch to shandy and when to switch to water.

[Felix]

Ikea

Or that should be Ikea tills as they are all self service now. Getting out the door is now taking longer due to the shit system in place and they are so slow and clunky to use. We bought a bed yesterday and that was a challenge also the mattresses were in the shop so we bought them but the bed was in another warehouse across the road the Chinese lass at the till said. Had to pay for it then and when i asked for directions to across the road i was told to use google maps. Was it across the road? Was it fuck. Two fucking streets away the bastards. Them, B&Q and ALDI i will never set foot in them again.

[Horse]

'Journalists' ... again

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crrknvqn97no

Terrible story, she was caught up in two mass shootings.

But:

A 16-year-old boy shot her in the stomach and four others; two of them died including her best friend.

How many stomachs does that girl have?

[Nobby]

Attempted to get a Key cut for a Toyota Hiace that I’m knocking together as a Camper.
That’s a common Blank I was informed by the shop worker, “we’re out of stock of those” (she did actually say “them” which pissed me off even more) “ there’s a lot of demand for that particular one”
I’m not shocked, just mildly disappointed. I think I’m getting old.

[Trinity765]

This morning I saw a car stopped in the middle of the road, engine running and with completely misted up windows. I then observed a person, whose gender I have assumed to be female, exit the car and spray de-icer over the front and rear windows which, of course, made no difference. I dread to think how far she had driven before she realised she couldn't see. She then starts to wipe the outside of her windows with a cloth while the windscreen wipers are going and has the cloth taken out of her hands a couple of times. During this time the mist on the inside of the windows is starting to clear and off she sets with half misted up windows. She had children in the car.

[gremlin]

This morning I saw a car stopped in the middle of the road, engine running and with completely misted up windows. I then observed a person, whose gender I have assumed to be female, exit the car and spray de-icer over the front and rear windows which, of course, made no difference. I dread to think how far she had driven before she realised she couldn't see. She then starts to wipe the outside of her windows with a cloth while the windscreen wipers are going and has the cloth taken out of her hands a couple of times. During this time the mist on the inside of the windows is starting to clear and off she sets with half misted up windows. She had children in the car.

Never underestimate the stupidity of the average road user.

[Horse]

'Journalists' ... again

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crrknvqn97no

Terrible story, she was caught up in two mass shootings.

But:

A 16-year-old boy shot her in the stomach and four others; two of them died including her best friend.

How many stomachs does that girl have?

Again

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgex0d02ejxo

An astronomer has captured what is believed to be the first video recording of a lunar impact flash on the island of Ireland, according to Armagh Observatory and Planetarium (AOP).

A lunar impact on Ireland? Really ... ?

[KungFooBob]

Talisker Skye.

I bought it for my mum as a present.

She gave it me back and accused me of trying to poison her (she's a seasoned scotch drinker). She'd had three other people try it and come to the same conclusion.

It's been sat in the cupboard for a couple of weeks. I've just been drinking some 101 Wild Turkey, but it's a bit strong, so for my next drink I asked the wife for a normal scotch... there's at least a dozen in the cupboard, guess which one she picked!

It's utter, utter piss.

[David]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

[Count Steer]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

Had a similar problem on my old Volvo when it was heading for 200k miles. RAC baffled, garage got round to looking at it. Started, no problem. They drove it around for a day or so with no issues. Couldn't find a problem.

Used it for a while. Happened again. Garage came and got it. Similar story. Scrapped it via the garage who tore up their bills in exchange.

Then saw it was taxed, MoT'd and running for a few years after!

I'm convinced a new coil would have done the trick but I never found out.

[v8-powered]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

Crank position sensor

[Noggin]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

That happened to me with a coach last winter, only it was the next day when the boss went to start it (I had to leave it at the airport and get a lift back with another company) - started first time for him so he phoned and yelled at me, then yelled at me some more at the depot cos of course it was my fault

[Count Steer]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

Crank position sensor

I'd have expected to see a dashboard warning light on mine at some point I think, if it was that.

Do they tend to get intermittent faults?

[v8-powered]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

Crank position sensor

I'd have expected to see a dashboard warning light on mine at some point I think, if it was that.

Do they tend to get intermittent faults?

Never got a MIL when my dad had a Clio years back - intermittently used to crank but no start. Replaced the sensor and all good.
Actually have a similar issue on my VW CC at the moment - long crank but no MIL light, got the sensor sat on my desk but can't be arsed to fit it

[David]

Went to brizzle parkway to pick up b.i.l.. Arrived...odometer on 123456....took a piccy (while stopped)....parked in short stay, collected b.i.l. Back to car (2008 campus), no start. It has been very wet. Didnt work after a few attempts, called rac. First estimate was 6pm. 2 hours!....fairynuff, very busy with stuff. At 6 the estimate had gone to between 10 and 1am. Still trying on and off to start, same thing, crank no start. O/h collected b.i.l., settled in for a long wait. In fairness, they turn up at 9.15.
Patrol guy listens to my sorry tale of woe, leans in, turns key....it only starts! Cannot understand how it decided to do that for him and not me.

Crank position sensor

This would not surprise me...i have had the engine light intermittently. Looks as if i can do that. I will get it read or a better reader to confirm.

[Count Steer]

Government 'anti-money laundering' rules and regs. (Not that I'm pro money laundering ).

The missus gets an email regarding her supplementary wonga spending card, not exactly a credit card but not very different. 'The ID you provided has expired, please log in and upload a new one'. I had the same thing previously and my passport had expired, so I uploaded an image of my photocard driving licence. Nope. It doesn't prove I'm a British citizen.

What do they think happens when a passport expires? The holder suddenly becomes an Uzbekistani or gets allocated new nationality at random?

On the plus side, after I phoned and said 'How do I prove I'm a UK citizen then?'...they uhmmed and ahh'd and said 'OK, driving licence will do'. This time photocard driving licence was on the list of acceptable options.

Still a pain in the bum though.

(If I was a conspiracy theorist I might be inclined to question whether it's to do with money laundering at all....).

[Taipan]

Good call on the CPS. My daughter's Corsa would spin over but not fire up, and it was intermittent with no engine light initially. Then it did come on and I scanned it and found out it was the CPS. Only one bolt and connector but it was bloody fiddly to do with my big fat sossie fingers as it was tucked up behind the driveshaft!!

[Count Steer]

Good call on the CPS. My daughter's Corsa would spin over but not fire up, and it was intermittent with no engine light initially. Then it did come on and I scanned it and found out it was the CPS. Only one bolt and connector but it was bloody fiddly to do with my big fat sossie fingers as it was tucked up behind the driveshaft!!

Wonder why my garage didn't find it if that was the issue with mine? They'd been pretty good up until then. Used them for a few years on the Volvo and a couple of other cars.