Are common interests/ages important?

[Noggin]

Don't get me wrong - I'm not planning a relationship/marriage or anything remotely serious!! but events this week have made me think about this sort of stuff (weirdly I'm actually open to the idea of the above, but not quite yet! first time in decades I've even thought it might be a consideration TBF!!)

So, d'ya think it's important to have common interests as a couple?

Or is it better to have different ones?

Can a couple survive with wildly different interests?


Is age gap good or bad?

As you get to middle age (ok, 50's!!) is it better to not have much of an age gap? (I've never really fancied people my own age as in general they are just boring!! - Well, apart from the bikers I used to meet at track but the ones I might have liked were all paired up/married, so the question never arose!! )


My brain has been melted by a day of first aid training in French, so currently in need of some light relief

[Ian]

Don't overthink it just let it happen. You'll know when it's right.

[Noggin]

Don't overthink it just let it happen. You'll know when it's right.

It's not really about now. Just interested. I've never 'done' relationships - family history didn't encourage and TBH watching some friends and the rest of my family put me off!! LOL Also never met anyone that I wanted a relationship with (that wasn't already attached!! )

So, just random questions!

I would totally not overthink if it felt right (although fancying someone my own age, almost, was a surprise!! )

Just conversation for a night after a first aid day!! LOL

[Dodgy69]

Me and Mrs Dodgy are from different world's, been married 27 years.

[Taipan]

The wife and I have been together for over 30 years and we have nothing in common other than we both think I'm great!

[MrLongbeard]

And another, 25 years into a life sentence, and aside from the motorcycles are like chalk and cheese

[David]

The wife and I have been together for over 30 years and we have nothing in common other than we both think I'm great!

That's not what mrs Taipan said t'other day....

[Felix]

I went out with a lass almost 8 years younger than me. It was great getting to know each other and sex was great but she was a pain in the arse. No we were not doing sex wrong Her music tastes were shit as was mine to her. If her friends were round it was like sitting listening to the brats on the school bus talking about pish, not that she was that young. Think she was 21 where i was 29 give or take a year. Going out places differed, my mates were boring, her mates were brats, she drank alcopops, i had more in common with her did and she never liked motorbikes. Needless to say it would never last.

[Taipan]

The wife and I have been together for over 30 years and we have nothing in common other than we both think I'm great!

I should probably add that we are still very close and do everything together and have no problem being in each others company, although she is menopause Mary and I choose to avoid her at times! These days I only seem to be in contact with mates online, but she has long term friends she goes out with and i ill drop her off and collect her to encourage this. I don't fully subscribe to the adage of those who play together stay together, but I've often seen couples that spend time apart, grow apart and break up?

[Cousin Jack]

Not a lot in common with the current Mrs CJ, she hates motorbikes, and pistol shooting, is not keen on travel or anything even vaguely technical.

We got married in 1968.

[Taipan]

The wife and I have been together for over 30 years and we have nothing in common other than we both think I'm great!

That's not what mrs Taipan said t'other day....

I dont think she's ever said it!

[v8-powered]

My wife is 8 years younger than me l, Im now early 50s, and very different backgrounds - I'm an engineer, she's an ex-investment banker. When we met (both previously married and divorced), she was what I thought was out of my league but been married 7 years next week.

Age is just a number...

[weeksy]

Me and Ceri, she grew up in Saudi with servants, I grew in in Liverpool with nothing. She went to the best boarding school money could buy, I went to the local comp.

We have very little in terms of interests together, however we're 20 years in and happy

[KungFooBob]

I'm five months younger than my wife.

I'm a toy boy.

[mangocrazy]

Mrs Mango is 30 years younger than me. Our musical tastes overlap, but aren't the same, and our political views are opposite, if not polar opposite. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary yesterday. I'm not quite sure how we managed it, but we did.

I'll take that as a result.

[Skub]

With partners or friends,it can be very misleading to assume or generalise.

Some people just click and some,regardless of shared interests,do not.

I have been in the company of fellow bikers and couldn't wait to get away,yet meet a random person and feel like I'm resuming an old friendship. No laboured conversation,no awkward silences,no endless questions from one side or the other,just easy getting on.

Certainly partner relationships are more complex and involved,but to imagine you'd be on a cert by choosing a life partner based on shared interests,could be a mistake. Might work,but might not,because it's about people enjoying each other's company and two individuals,way more complicated than yakking about mutual interests. Sometimes the interests are a draw and a lead into something more,but it's not a given.

Mrs.Skub was a properly brought up young lady,I was a complete,out of control wrecking ball in every sense. There is nothing on paper to suggest a good match,but 43 years later we are still married. I won't lie and say,it's been perfect and never a cross word,etc. We've had our rough times too,mostly because I have been a cunt and pushed my luck many times. At the end of all those rocky times,we know there is something between us worth saving and for me worth changing my stupid and reckless attitude.
We don't have much in common,regarding hobbies,but we have each other in common,so it has never mattered.

That probably reads like a right load of old bollox,but common interests/ages may be a factor in some cases,but likely not of fundamental importance.

[Ian]

I'm only 3 years older than my wife we don't really have common interests but we've grown together over the 37 years we've been married so now we have developed common things we like, telepathy, share the same weirdness and neuroses. Even when you think there's not a lot in common you grow into each other.

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

I've been with my wife for 34 years, we haven't got much in common and never have, it seems to work.

[Bigjawa]

First Mrs J and I had a 7 year age difference and not much in common, there was a mad physical attraction that's still there even after 27 years but we're two people who should not be anywhere near each other as all hell breaks loose.

2nd Mrs J is three years older than me, once again we have bugger all in common apart from briefly going out when we were teenagers. Been married 7 years now.

I'll be honest, I've never went out with a "biker" woman, nothing more than a FWB arrangement, the thing I like doing for recreation, I like doing alone.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Mrs D doesn't really like bikes, although she doesn't actively dislike them either.

I've often thought commonality in a relationship doesn't make sense in a lot of ways. Why be in a relationship with just another you? That's what you have yourself for

From my POV all the best things from being in a long term relationship come out of the other person expanding your world, not reinforcing the bit you already have.

Mrs D and I have both often said we have a common outlook, but not much else the same.

BTW - disliking the same stuff is way more important than liking the same stuff IME