In todays news...

[Yorick]

'I stole to order' says prolific ex-shoplifter

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czdpvd41z7mo

Now, in preparation for me becoming the benevolent dictator of the entire world, with the exception of the Isle of Man, I want to run something past you all.

Ross, according to the news article, has been giving it a bit of five-fingered discount all his adult life, in order to feed his drug habit. I feel society and successive governments have failed him. Hence I propose that once my dictatorship is in place and the individuals found littering, puffing on a sickly smelling vape, riding e-bikes with those silly balaclavas and those who fail to indicate when turning left at roundabouts have been vaporised, I turn my attention to the likes of Ross....

Were he to be branded with a mark across his forehead, maybe a 'T' for thief, he would be instantly recognisable and shops could eject him as soon as he sets foot in the door. Thus he would be deprived of goods to sell to fund his habit and would be clean in no time, ready to take his place back in society, minus e-bikes and the like, naturally.

Thoughts?

Do like the Arabs. Chop his right hand off.

[Horse]

Were he to be branded with a mark across his forehead, maybe a 'T' for thief, he would be instantly recognisable and shops could eject him as soon as he sets foot in the door. Thus he would be deprived of goods to sell to fund his habit and would be clean in no time, ready to take his place back in society, minus e-bikes and the like, naturally.

Thoughts?

You know those tags clothes shops use, that set off an alarm at the door?

Perhaps fit him with something similar for the way in, but with an 'active' element. Like a portcullis or cattle prod.

[MrLongbeard]

Were he to be branded with a mark across his forehead, maybe a 'T' for thief, he would be instantly recognisable and shops could eject him as soon as he sets foot in the door. Thus he would be deprived of goods to sell to fund his habit and would be clean in no time, ready to take his place back in society, minus e-bikes and the like, naturally.

Thoughts?

You know those tags clothes shops use, that set off an alarm at the door?

Perhaps fit him with something similar for the way in, but with an 'active' element. Like a portcullis or cattle prod.

or an exploding neck collar

[Rockburner]

'I stole to order' says prolific ex-shoplifter

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czdpvd41z7mo

Now, in preparation for me becoming the benevolent dictator of the entire world, with the exception of the Isle of Man, I want to run something past you all.

Ross, according to the news article, has been giving it a bit of five-fingered discount all his adult life, in order to feed his drug habit. I feel society and successive governments have failed him. Hence I propose that once my dictatorship is in place and the individuals found littering, puffing on a sickly smelling vape, riding e-bikes with those silly balaclavas and those who fail to indicate when turning left at roundabouts have been vaporised, I turn my attention to the likes of Ross....

Were he to be branded with a mark across his forehead, maybe a 'T' for thief, he would be instantly recognisable and shops could eject him as soon as he sets foot in the door. Thus he would be deprived of goods to sell to fund his habit and would be clean in no time, ready to take his place back in society, minus e-bikes and the like, naturally.

Thoughts?

He should be hired by a Loss-Prevention contracting firm. Like a "white-hat" hacker, let him put the skills to good use, demonstrating theft methods and teaching the security guards what to look for.

[Count Steer]

He thinks he's Olympic standard, but he's been nicked 16 times!

I wouldn't want to be judgemental - it sounds like he had a few problems.

'A psychiatric report read out at his most recent court appearance said he was "highly likely" to have ADHD which, along with along with a "severely traumatic" early childhood, led to addiction.'

[gremlin]

He thinks he's Olympic standard, but he's been nicked 16 times!

I wouldn't want to be judgemental - it sounds like he had a few problems.

'A psychiatric report read out at his most recent court appearance said he was "highly likely" to have ADHD which, along with along with a "severely traumatic" early childhood, led to addiction.'

Show me any defence solicitor that doesn't throw some form of mental illness in the mix in the hope of leniency.

[gremlin]

'I stole to order' says prolific ex-shoplifter

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czdpvd41z7mo

Now, in preparation for me becoming the benevolent dictator of the entire world, with the exception of the Isle of Man, I want to run something past you all.

Ross, according to the news article, has been giving it a bit of five-fingered discount all his adult life, in order to feed his drug habit. I feel society and successive governments have failed him. Hence I propose that once my dictatorship is in place and the individuals found littering, puffing on a sickly smelling vape, riding e-bikes with those silly balaclavas and those who fail to indicate when turning left at roundabouts have been vaporised, I turn my attention to the likes of Ross....

Were he to be branded with a mark across his forehead, maybe a 'T' for thief, he would be instantly recognisable and shops could eject him as soon as he sets foot in the door. Thus he would be deprived of goods to sell to fund his habit and would be clean in no time, ready to take his place back in society, minus e-bikes and the like, naturally.

Thoughts?

He should be hired by a Loss-Prevention contracting firm. Like a "white-hat" hacker, let him put the skills to good use, demonstrating theft methods and teaching the security guards what to look for.

Trouble is, they know what to look for, but are stymied by the Plod not being interested, the fact that the miscreant may be tooled up plus, they're like rats: get rid of one and another turns up in its place.

I actually think shopkeepers should be allowed to defend their shops/goods with reasonable force. Currently there's no downside to shoplifting.

[Dodgy69]

Another nail in the coffin of the pub trade (potentially, maybe, perhaps)

https://news.sky.com/story/smoking-coul ... s-13205117

But more importantly, why is the dillon trying to spark up an already lit ciggie

Are the smoke rooms of Westminster still open.

[Mussels]

A few posts on X yesterday posted this video and asked if the two-tier justice system would care.
Turns out in this story it was worse than that, there were police there who saw it and ignored it. When prompted they spoke to the guy and let him go without even taking a name
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgeneq9wydo

Attacked Nando's worker 'let down' by Met officers

[gremlin]

I actually think shopkeepers should be allowed to defend their shops/goods/staff with reasonable force. Currently there's no downside to shoplifting.

Big bloke shoves a plate of hot food into a young girls face because he knows fuck all will be done. It should be that the hue and cry goes up and out come the kitchen staff with metal implements and give him a good shoeing.

I've said for a long time, the only people in this country who are policed are those of us who allow ourselves to be be policed. If you want to live outside the law you can do so with virtual impunity.

[Yorick]

I actually think shopkeepers should be allowed to defend their shops/goods/staff with reasonable force. Currently there's no downside to shoplifting.

Big bloke shoves a plate of hot food into a young girls face because he knows fuck all will be done. It should be that the hue and cry goes up and out come the kitchen staff with metal implements and give him a good shoeing.

I've said for a long time, the only people in this country who are policed are those of us who allow ourselves to be be policed. If you want to live outside the law you can do so with virtual impunity.

Did you get that half kilo of coke I posted to you?

[DefTrap]

Another nail in the coffin of the pub trade (potentially, maybe, perhaps)

I've worked for Healthcare companies where employees smoking in the vicinity was 'formally discouraged' as it projected a bad image (burning one up out the front is bad, but waddling up with a pie in your face is fine - the hypocrisy). I was obliged to walk a hundred yards or so away and stand in the nearest available shelter, presumably ruining the public image of some other organisation.
It was shit, but smoking is for outlaws innit?

I've given up now, but it certainly wasn't because of inconvenience, or cost.

[gremlin]

I actually think shopkeepers should be allowed to defend their shops/goods/staff with reasonable force. Currently there's no downside to shoplifting.

Big bloke shoves a plate of hot food into a young girls face because he knows fuck all will be done. It should be that the hue and cry goes up and out come the kitchen staff with metal implements and give him a good shoeing.

I've said for a long time, the only people in this country who are policed are those of us who allow ourselves to be be policed. If you want to live outside the law you can do so with virtual impunity.

Did you get that half kilo of coke I posted to you?

Dog ate it. She's currently doing laps of the garden at 150mph.

She'll be fine by next Wednesday.

[Buckaroo]

I actually think shopkeepers should be allowed to defend their shops/goods/staff with reasonable force. Currently there's no downside to shoplifting.

Big bloke shoves a plate of hot food into a young girls face because he knows fuck all will be done. It should be that the hue and cry goes up and out come the kitchen staff with metal implements and give him a good shoeing.

I've said for a long time, the only people in this country who are policed are those of us who allow ourselves to be be policed. If you want to live outside the law you can do so with virtual impunity.

Did you get that half kilo of coke I posted to you?

Hope it was smokeless

[Count Steer]

Another nail in the coffin of the pub trade (potentially, maybe, perhaps)

I've worked for Healthcare companies where employees smoking in the vicinity was 'formally discouraged' as it projected a bad image (burning one up out the front is bad, but waddling up with a pie in your face is fine - the hypocrisy).

Radio interviewer pointed out to the nanny stater that was supporting the change because it's damaging to the health and costs the NHS money - 'people eat and drink themselves to death, obesity costs the NHS money, what do you plan to do to stop people doing that?'

The interviewee changed tack and said people smoking in pub gardens might be standing next to a children's play area.

[Yorick]

Big bloke shoves a plate of hot food into a young girls face because he knows fuck all will be done. It should be that the hue and cry goes up and out come the kitchen staff with metal implements and give him a good shoeing.

I've said for a long time, the only people in this country who are policed are those of us who allow ourselves to be be policed. If you want to live outside the law you can do so with virtual impunity.

Did you get that half kilo of coke I posted to you?

Dog ate it. She's currently doing laps of the garden at 150mph.

She'll be fine by next Wednesday.

Apparently it's the real good stuff. They did me a deal
35€ for half a kilo

[Yorick]

'I stole to order' says prolific ex-shoplifter

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czdpvd41z7mo

Now, in preparation for me becoming the benevolent dictator of the entire world, with the exception of the Isle of Man, I want to run something past you all.

Ross, according to the news article, has been giving it a bit of five-fingered discount all his adult life, in order to feed his drug habit. I feel society and successive governments have failed him. Hence I propose that once my dictatorship is in place and the individuals found littering, puffing on a sickly smelling vape, riding e-bikes with those silly balaclavas and those who fail to indicate when turning left at roundabouts have been vaporised, I turn my attention to the likes of Ross....

Were he to be branded with a mark across his forehead, maybe a 'T' for thief, he would be instantly recognisable and shops could eject him as soon as he sets foot in the door. Thus he would be deprived of goods to sell to fund his habit and would be clean in no time, ready to take his place back in society, minus e-bikes and the like, naturally.

Thoughts?

Do like the Arabs. Chop his right hand off.

Quiz question. Why do those countries always choose the right hand?

[Count Steer]

'Cos the left is used for 'unclean' tasks like bum wiping.

[Yorick]

'Cos the left is used for 'unclean' tasks like bum wiping.

So at meal times they are seen to eat with their dirty hand. That's a big nono

[Count Steer]

'Cos the left is used for 'unclean' tasks like bum wiping.

So at meal times they are seen to eat with their dirty hand. That's a big nono

And vice versa the faith decrees that the right should only be used for 'clean' tasks like writing and eating, so if they lopped off the right they'd be forcing them to go against the religion.

Must be difficult if you're a keggy hander.

Wonder what happens if you lose the left in an accident - do you get a dispensation?

(The waiter in my old local curry house said I ate like a Muslim....but that's probably 'cos I used chapattis like cutlery Bradford trained. )