What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

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irie
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by irie »

Yambo wrote: Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:16 pm My head is good, the lady in my life is now staying until mid December and I'm not bothered about Covid, US elections, Brexit or very much else. I have to sharpen my chisels though and start my application for Turkish citizenship.

Life is pretty good.
Pleased for you and your lady. :thumbup:
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by derek badger »

I love mountain biking, but recently I've found that an hour or two walking in the countryside, woodland and hills are my headspace. I try and get out for 5-6 miles during the week around work and once at the weekend. This, combined with 8 or 9 cans of eastern european export strength lager each night is keeping me sane.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Skub »

irie wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 7:26 am
Yambo wrote: Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:16 pm My head is good, the lady in my life is now staying until mid December and I'm not bothered about Covid, US elections, Brexit or very much else. I have to sharpen my chisels though and start my application for Turkish citizenship.

Life is pretty good.
Pleased for you and your lady. :thumbup:
Yeah,wot he said. 8-)
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by moth »

I've always thought Justin was a bit of a twat.

This year's been OK for me. Key worker - out and about, not much time sitting idle during (extended) working hours. Made a bit of cash due to that too, which is nice.

Mentally, I'm in a better place than I've been for a long time. Some of that's down to the drugs I guess :)

And it looks like Christmas is going to be cancelled. That's cheered me up no end. ;)
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

Mrs D gifted me a free Samsung smart watch that she got as part of a phone/broadband package deal. It claims to measure stress based on heartrate, oxygen levels and movement. I is well chill on average...

Image

Top that off with the fact I'm the coolest guy at work (according to my mum) and I'm sitting pretty. ;)

Seriously though, overall 2020 has been a good year for me on balance. It encouraged me to change jobs for the better and I'm seeing a lot more of Mrs D and baby D simply by virtue of WFH more.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Yorick »

Harry wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 12:00 am My stress levels are apparently very high when measured by these occupational people that come in every quarter to do tests and then tell us that we're all about to die from broken brains or something but I'm not sure it's always a problem.

I've been up since 2am, can't sleep.
This is usual for me and I'm learning to live with it.

I've got a few things going on but I'm not particularly stressed, just a busy life really and my mind rarely switches off, for the last couple of years I seem to drop off to sleep around 9pm then I'm up anywhere between 2am and 4.30am and my day starts. I rarely feel tired, so I must be getting enough sleep.
My missus is the same.

Modern life is incredibly busy and I notice that when my parents come over (retired) their brains are so much slower than ours. For example, we decide to go somewhere, we're decided, dressed, sat waiting and they're still wondering what shoes to wear - then we're in the car, I've done two work calls, signed off some e-documents, etc.... and they're still putting their shoes on.
They're clever people, but their brains don't need to run at 100mph any more.

So far today I've done a couple of hours of work, spoke to a couple of people on the other side of the world, authorised some supplier payments, made a strategic decision on a big bid, put an offer in on a house, sent half a dozen emails and it's ten to four in the morning.
I'm going to make some coffee, have a run down the beach, shower and then start phoning my team when they wake up.

Most people I know that do what I do run along similar lines, for some people that would be a problem, but I think it's probably more natural than working in a factory nine to five, most farmers that I've met are up early getting stuff done, plus I get to kick back with the benefits of it, so it balances out.
Sometimes it takes me a few moments to decide which flip flops to wear.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by irie »

Darkness? What darkness?

Max Ehrman: And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Harry wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 2:59 am ... set a goal and an end game and work at it ...
But be aware that working towards that goal may (and probably will) reveal a more desirable goal.

Heraclitus: The only constant in life is change.
"Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people." - Giordano Bruno
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by weeksy »

irie wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 9:56 pm Darkness? What darkness?

Max Ehrman: And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Harry wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 2:59 am ... set a goal and an end game and work at it ...
But be aware working towards that goal may reveal a more desirable goal.

Heraclitus: The only constant in life is change.
If you have no darkness then you're doing better than many.

You may be aware but many are struggling at the moment with things, you know, that darkness.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Horse »

weeksy wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:01 pm If you have no darkness then you're doing better than many.

You may be aware but many are struggling at the moment with things, you know, that darkness.
I have colleagues who live in shared houses. They sleep, eat and work in one room. I'm lucky to have nice house with an 'office' that I can shut the door on and walk away from. It's easy to forget that difference.
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by irie »

weeksy wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:01 pm
irie wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 9:56 pm Darkness? What darkness?

Max Ehrman: And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Harry wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 2:59 am ... set a goal and an end game and work at it ...
But be aware working towards that goal may reveal a more desirable goal.

Heraclitus: The only constant in life is change.
If you have no darkness then you're doing better than many.

You may be aware but many are struggling at the moment with things, you know, that darkness.
I am aware of this, I see it everywhere.

What we have now can not be wished or worried away, it is what it is.

This darkness is self inflicted.

Look at what is good.

George Harrison: All Things Must Pass.

And it will.
"Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people." - Giordano Bruno
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Docca »

It’s 1am and I’m director on call for the next 7 nights. I lost a colleague to c19 tonight ( 50yo doctor) who I’ve known for 15 years. No underlying health conditions. Just bad fucking luck.

It’s very hard working in healthcare right now. You have a mix of disbelief at the bed situation ( everywhere is full, but more ‘regular’ people are now pitching up in mental health services). Covid anxiety is huge. Covid ignorance is huger. I’m fed up dealing with rude people and families who ‘because I can’t see it’ won’t believe the pandemic is real.

Dunno. Surreal. I’m tired now and shortly I have a call with a medical director about a serious incident.

Then there is the day job. That’s busier than ever and getting busier. I should be grateful because there are people out of work etc and I sound selfish but the truth is I’m rinsed. Every single day is 12 hours at the moment and it’s focussed stuff, not coasting stuff. I feel down about once a week. Usually Tuesday, but I’m guessing that coincides with the death gong being at its highest.

That said; my family is closer than ever. We spend every single evening at the dinner table. So what,right? But it’s magic. Sometimes 3 hours chatting and laughing with me, Nicki the kids and the au pair. I feel blessed.

Big difference between lockdown 1 and the sequel? Less time for anything now. MTB was a big feature in 1. Now I’m grateful for an hours dog walk a day. Covid kilos are making an appearance.

I’ve loved being out on my own too. Every day, usually on the dog walk, I’ll have just me an my thoughts. No worrying about my wife and her vision, work , Covid etc.

This year has some positives and it’s reminded me of things I should have been doing despite the pandemic. That said, fuck the pandemic. This has been a horrible, horrible year too. Stay safe everyone.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Yambo »

weeksy wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:01 pm If you have no darkness then you're doing better than many.

You may be aware but many are struggling at the moment with things, you know, that darkness.
Many have struggled in the past with depression (that darkness?) and many will struggle in the future. Very often there is no tangible reason for depression or it takes a fair bit of finding. It can truly be a darkness.

The current situation has a fairly clear basis behind it and it is forcing people out of their comfort zone. It should, in reality give people a good opportunity to see what is good and bad in their lives and to make changes accordingly. Of course, if they want to sit in a corner and blame Covid, lockdowns, isolation and all the other attending issues for their own darkness then so be it but I think with this situation people are turning their own lights out and they could turn them back on again if they wanted to.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who should just mtfu. ;)
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Horse »

Yambo wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:47 am Of course, if they want to sit in a corner and blame Covid, lockdowns, isolation and all the other attending issues for their own darkness then so be it but I think with this situation people are turning their own lights out and they could turn them back on again if they wanted to.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who should just mtfu. ;)
There are probably some, with brain chemical imbalances, or 'wiring' issues, for whom it's not quite so simple ;)
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Yambo »

Horse wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 8:06 am
There are probably some, with brain chemical imbalances, or 'wiring' issues, for whom it's not quite so simple ;)
I'm sure there are and I'm sure they might need more help than they are getting. I sympathise with them, depression is a serious condition.

But then I'm sure that there are others who are just finding out that there can be tough periods in life that they have to contend with. They're not the first and they won't be the last.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Asian Boss »

Harry wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 12:00 am My stress levels are apparently very high when measured by these occupational people that come in every quarter to do tests and then tell us that we're all about to die from broken brains or something but I'm not sure it's always a problem.

I've been up since 2am, can't sleep.
This is usual for me and I'm learning to live with it.

I've got a few things going on but I'm not particularly stressed, just a busy life really and my mind rarely switches off, for the last couple of years I seem to drop off to sleep around 9pm then I'm up anywhere between 2am and 4.30am and my day starts. I rarely feel tired, so I must be getting enough sleep.
My missus is the same.

Modern life is incredibly busy and I notice that when my parents come over (retired) their brains are so much slower than ours. For example, we decide to go somewhere, we're decided, dressed, sat waiting and they're still wondering what shoes to wear - then we're in the car, I've done two work calls, signed off some e-documents, etc.... and they're still putting their shoes on.
They're clever people, but their brains don't need to run at 100mph any more.

So far today I've done a couple of hours of work, spoke to a couple of people on the other side of the world, authorised some supplier payments, made a strategic decision on a big bid, put an offer in on a house, sent half a dozen emails and it's ten to four in the morning.
I'm going to make some coffee, have a run down the beach, shower and then start phoning my team when they wake up.

Most people I know that do what I do run along similar lines, for some people that would be a problem, but I think it's probably more natural than working in a factory nine to five, most farmers that I've met are up early getting stuff done, plus I get to kick back with the benefits of it, so it balances out.
If it's having a detrimental affect on your wellbeing, have you considered a sideways move? From sparking into chippying for example.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by derek badger »

Asian Boss wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 9:40 am
If it's having a detrimental affect on your wellbeing, have you considered a sideways move? From sparking into chippying for example.
Given the man crush he appears to have on Yorick I'd suggest retraining as his pool boy. I hear the uniform includes a bumming hat. 😉
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Asian Boss »

Harry wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 9:53 am
Asian Boss wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 9:40 am
If it's having a detrimental affect on your wellbeing, have you considered a sideways move? From sparking into chippying for example.
I considered a career move, but I'd have to do an online correspondence course in something ridiculous and then be poor.
I still have too much self respect for that :lol:
Don't feel bad about it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with sparking as you yourself said. You still have your ticket, right?

Likewise remote learning degree style courses*. I haven't done one myself but you spoke at length about yours.

I'm sure it'll all work out fine.

:thumbup:




*Originating from the Port-au-Prince College of Vocational Higher Learning and Trade Workshops (incorporating the Haiti 'on the tools' guild)
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by Horse »

Yambo wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 8:16 am
Horse wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 8:06 am
There are probably some, with brain chemical imbalances, or 'wiring' issues, for whom it's not quite so simple ;)
I'm sure there are and I'm sure they might need more help than they are getting. I sympathise with them, depression is a serious condition.

But then I'm sure that there are others who are just finding out that there can be tough periods in life that they have to contend with. They're not the first and they won't be the last.
A mate has been on prescribed anti-depressants for years, decided to take himself off them.

Had to gently explain that the ups and downs that he was experiencing were normal day to day life!

Without the bad you can't always fully appreciate the good.
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by weeksy »

The initial post was more regarding the day to day hi/low points, rather than clinical depression. We all have good and bad days, we all have days where we need a release, so was more along those lines of how do you get your release from it, rather than the medical depression context.
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Re: What do you do to get out of the darkness ?

Post by moth »

Horse wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 10:16 am
Yambo wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 8:16 am
Horse wrote: Wed Nov 25, 2020 8:06 am
There are probably some, with brain chemical imbalances, or 'wiring' issues, for whom it's not quite so simple ;)
I'm sure there are and I'm sure they might need more help than they are getting. I sympathise with them, depression is a serious condition.

But then I'm sure that there are others who are just finding out that there can be tough periods in life that they have to contend with. They're not the first and they won't be the last.
A mate has been on prescribed anti-depressants for years, decided to take himself off them.

Had to gently explain that the ups and downs that he was experiencing were normal day to day life!

Without the bad you can't always fully appreciate the good.
With depression it's not the ups and downs of everyday life, it's your ability to cope with the ups and downs of everyday life. Some people can't, some people think they can but they can't - they're the ones that break hardest, some people need a 'crutch', be it drugs and/or therapy. Some just need to MTFU.

Problem is, you, none of you, know who is who. So until 'you' do, fuck off with the homespun help :)

Going cold turkey on anti-depressants if a stupid idea BTW.
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