Jokes Thread

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Jody
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Jody »

People can change so quickly...


I tell someone that I love smearing Nutella on biscuits and licking it off and they like the idea.

As soon as they see that my dog is called Biscuits, they get all weird and don't want to talk to me anymore
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Yambo
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yambo »

Some people . . .

You compliment your friend on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend any more.
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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Yorkshire man goes to the vet says, "This cat I've got, I'm fed up wi it, I want in neutered". "The vet says is he a Tom"? The man says, "No I brought him w'mee"...
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Yorick
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

Taipan wrote: ↑Wed Aug 07, 2024 2:54 pm Yorkshire man goes to the vet says, "This cat I've got, I'm fed up wi it, I want in neutered". "The vet says is he a Tom"? The man says, "No I brought him w'mee"...
Very nearly 😉
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Dodgy69
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Dodgy69 »

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Yamaha rocket 3
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Felix
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse.
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Docca
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Docca »

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star logos images
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Felix
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

I put vaseline on our front doorknob as a joke. My wife didn't find it funny, In fact she flew off the handle.
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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:?

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Horse
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Screenshot_20240809-135516.png
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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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gremlin
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by gremlin »

My mate somewhat stupidly drank a bottle of invisible ink.

He's been down A&E for four hours now still hasn't been seen.
All aboard the Peckham Pigeon! All aboard!
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Sadlonelygit »

Type fifty ten Hull into Google translate french.
Press play.......giggle!
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Docca »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mussels »

Just need to email SKS to see if I'm allowed to laugh at that.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

454245643_899521402209092_7423451593488659259_n.jpg
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Count Steer
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Count Steer »

Felix wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2024 9:58 pm 454245643_899521402209092_7423451593488659259_n.jpg
Could be Albert Road, High Barnet. 4-lift, 2,000,000cu ft (decommissioned).

Oi loiks a nice gasometer. :D
Doubt is not a pleasant condition.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Rockburner »

Felix wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2024 9:58 pm 454245643_899521402209092_7423451593488659259_n.jpg
Has he got planning for that greenhouse?
non quod, sed quomodo
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