Jokes Thread

General chat topics, anything and everything you want or need to discuss
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16663
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10206 times
Been thanked: 6859 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

I used to watch Cheers occasionally, but this made me chuckle :obscene-birdiedoublered:

User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13794
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15814 times
Been thanked: 10170 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Yorick wrote: Fri Jul 26, 2024 6:53 pm I used to watch Cheers occasionally, but this made me chuckle :obscene-birdiedoublered:

Loved Cheers. used to watch it when I got in from the pub. Passed it on to my boy too, although he's jumped ship to Fraser, the no good ungrateful shit! :x
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16663
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10206 times
Been thanked: 6859 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

Taipan wrote: Fri Jul 26, 2024 7:03 pm
Yorick wrote: Fri Jul 26, 2024 6:53 pm I used to watch Cheers occasionally, but this made me chuckle :obscene-birdiedoublered:

Loved Cheers. used to watch it when I got in from the pub. Passed it on to my boy too, although he's jumped ship to Fraser, the no good ungrateful shit! :x
Fraser was shit.
User avatar
Noggin
Posts: 7918
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
Location: Ski Resort
Has thanked: 16008 times
Been thanked: 3881 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

Image
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11469
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6121 times
Been thanked: 5032 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Does office work cause baldness? I missed that memo ;)
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
User avatar
Noggin
Posts: 7918
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
Location: Ski Resort
Has thanked: 16008 times
Been thanked: 3881 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

Image
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13794
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15814 times
Been thanked: 10170 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13794
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15814 times
Been thanked: 10170 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Kier Starmer saw a little old lady struggling with two heavy bags of shopping,
"You shouldn't be struggling with those two bags of shopping, let me help," he said.
So he halved her pension so she could only afford one in future. :D
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13794
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15814 times
Been thanked: 10170 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

User avatar
Noggin
Posts: 7918
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
Location: Ski Resort
Has thanked: 16008 times
Been thanked: 3881 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Image

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
Jody
Posts: 1713
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2020 11:49 am
Location: Biarritz in Summer, Cornwall In Autumn, Courchevel in Winter
Has thanked: 1946 times
Been thanked: 1292 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Jody »

When I was a youth, we lived on a small holding. We didnt have much money so we tried to do everything ourselves. I remember trying to out up fences etc. The trouble is, when I was 12/13 years old, I simply wasn't tall enough to swing a sledge hammer at a 5ft fence post safely

So I didn't

Because the steaks were too high
Sadlonelygit
Posts: 913
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 9:10 pm
Has thanked: 82 times
Been thanked: 660 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Sadlonelygit »

Stakes
Sadlonelygit
Posts: 913
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 9:10 pm
Has thanked: 82 times
Been thanked: 660 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Sadlonelygit »

453750937_10161920807797280_437657754887337530_n.jpg
453750937_10161920807797280_437657754887337530_n.jpg (63.33 KiB) Viewed 867 times
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16663
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10206 times
Been thanked: 6859 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

This happened at a major Australian University during a biology lecture.
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked. "If I understand you correctly, you are saying that there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
The professor responded yes adding some statistical data. Raising her hand again the girl asked. "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books and without another word walked out of the class.
However as she was heading for the door the professors reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the tastebuds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not at the back of your throat."
User avatar
gremlin
Posts: 5875
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:12 pm
Location: Kent (AKA God's own country)
Has thanked: 802 times
Been thanked: 4727 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by gremlin »

Just been prescribed some anti-gloating cream.

Can't wait to get home and rub it in.
All aboard the Peckham Pigeon! All aboard!
Felix
Posts: 3916
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 477 times
Been thanked: 1417 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

453403788_887551553402340_7957974057401284918_n.jpg
453403788_887551553402340_7957974057401284918_n.jpg (48.75 KiB) Viewed 786 times
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13794
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15814 times
Been thanked: 10170 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:wtf: :lol:

User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13794
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15814 times
Been thanked: 10170 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:wtf: :lol:


Image
Mussels
Posts: 4428
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 9:02 pm
Has thanked: 830 times
Been thanked: 1235 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mussels »

Taipan wrote: Fri Aug 02, 2024 9:23 pm :wtf: :lol:

After rainbow liveries I can't tell if that's a joke or not.
Felix
Posts: 3916
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 477 times
Been thanked: 1417 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

Some people dont believe that lm a singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band.
Well i am