Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Mussels]

Some people are cunts. Unfortunately we have to learn how to live around them.

As is my wont to say, 95% of the people you meet are nice, decent people. The other 5% are cunts. The trick is learning identify, and ultimately avoid, that piss-boiling 5%.

When I become the benevolent dictator of the Earth (it's a matter of when, not if), the 'Five Percenters', or at least the ones that survive the first cull, will be forced to wear 'Cunty Hats' whenever they step outside, to enable the 95% to avoid interaction with them.

Always worth remembering that 5% are attracted to certain careers where they will be over represented, I think they find power more enticing than money.

[Taipan]

Next door have tree surgeons in, who also do driveways and block paving and look how they park! Right across my driveway!

[gremlin]

West End theatre prices.

Gremlinette noted that 'Spirited Away' had been adapted for the stage and was running at The Coliseum. Two tickets for a matinee performance, just £458 to you, squire.
Want to see Tom Holland in the latest adaption of Romeo and Juliet? £275 a ticket, guv.

Who the fuck is paying these prices? I'll stick with seeing my mate who does a bit on am-dram for The Fairlight Players. Tickets are tenner.

Just read the reviews of the new Romeo and Juliette production.

Think I'll save my money.

[KungFooBob]

Bike insurance renewal for my Bullet.

It's almost double last year!!!!

It's gone up to £79.38 from £46.95... and so the hunt for a cheaper quote begins!

[weeksy]

Some fucking tit cut across the hatching on motorway junction right in front of us up by Glasgow.

As if that wasn't bad enough he spat up a massive stone which put a 5" crack in the windscreen on the Transit, that's now grown to 15" crack in 4 hours.

Can't get a booking for weekend up here so hopefully it holds out

[MyLittleStudPony]

Modern windscreens seem to hold in place regardless of cracks. That's shitty luck and fingers crossed for you. But I bet it'll be fine until you get a chance to get it replaced, whenever that might be.

[MrLongbeard]

It'll be fine, mine has a crack from one side to the middle, been like it for months, I'm loathed to get it done so far from the MOT being due in case the new one gets chipped.

[weeksy]

The Auto Windscreen woman said "it's laminated so don't worry" but it's slightly disconcerting all the same.

[Felix]

I have RTTL stickers covering a spider chip on my windscreen as the MOT man is not allowed to remove it. Think its two years now and still not growing its legs. Cracks tend to be OK. Chanced if it cracking into 1000 bits is quite remote. Only even had a screen shatter once with a stone but that was instant. Had to drive from Fort William back to Edinburgh in the rain with no screen. Tell you what, the old Datsun with fucked suspension never handled so good

[David]

All cars since around the 90's are required to have laminated screens. Hence cracks, not shattering. What you don't want to do is headbut it, as you will acquire the delightfully named glass necklace.
Not to be confused with a pearl necklace.

[Jody]

Having finally got my 690 french registered it's time for insurance.

€50 a MONTH

[Horse]

Hence cracks, not shattering. What you don't want to do is headbut it, as you will acquire the delightfully named glass necklace.

Total aside. I spent some time at a Met police traffic garage. They had a display board of car windscreen photos.

Specifically, post-crash police cars.

Every photo had one or two 'bulls eye' dents where the officers hadn't been wearing seatbelts

[Yambo]

All cars since around the 90's are required to have laminated screens. Hence cracks, not shattering. What you don't want to do is headbut it, as you will acquire the delightfully named glass necklace.
Not to be confused with a pearl necklace.

Road Safety was a big part of my last job in the army and we were always looking for things that we could use in campaigns to get our message across.

One time I got a report from HQ BAOR, complete with photos, of a senior officer who had been sat in the back of a staff car which had been involved in a head on collision. The officer was sat in the middle of the back seat without a seat belt and had been thrown forward and had headbutted the windscreen. His head fractured the laminated screen and as he fell back into the car his hair was trapped in the glass of the windscreen. That's what the photos were of, his hair still attached to the glass. The emergency services had given him a haircut to release him.

We copied the report and photos, added a couple of points that needed to be said - if he'd been sat behind the driver, a WRAC lass, he could have killed her, he could have got his head all the way through the glass and killed himself and if there had been a fire . . . We produced a report for every officer of Lt Colonel and above (some of them would almost certainly have known the officer) and I took the General's copy to him personally so I could tell him what we were doing but also because I knew he always wore the seat belt in his staff car so I didn't want him to think we were having a go at him.

As mini campaigns went, it was very successful with reports back from staff car drivers that they weren't having to ask officers to wear the seat belt, which was always a pain for them as senior officers don't like being told what to do by lance corporals.

[Mr. Dazzle]

I would have to question the intelligence of anyone who needs to be told you should wear a seatbelt

Seems to be a thing with senior people in limos judging from photos. Maybe they think physics will defer to their authority.

[cheb]

Regarding vehicles it seems I'm deaf, insensitive and now thick*. Some of my journeys are very short and on roads with virtually no traffic.

And before it's suggested I should walk or ride a bicycle, as magnificent a human specimen I am I find it difficult to carry much over 100kgs for any distance.

*White van man archetype?

[Yambo]

I would have to question the intelligence of anyone who needs to be told you should wear a seatbelt

Seems to be a thing with senior people in limos judging from photos. Maybe they think physics will defer to their authority.

It became a legal requirement in 1983. Seems to me a lot of people needed to be told.

In the military it was requirement from well before that - it was certainly a requirement in 1968 when I started driving military vehicles although it was qualified by "if seatbelts were fitted they were to be worn".

Arrogance from senior officers was never unheard of.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Likely as not, if you were to google image search "[world leader of your choice] limo" nearly every photo would show them in the car not wearing a seatbelt.

I don't think its limited to senior officers. Seniority it general overrides danger

[Horse]

senior officers don't like being told what to do

I'm sure there are times when they're grateful

[Yambo]

senior officers don't like being told what to do

I'm sure there are times when they're grateful

The appointment I held was established (in 1970) because senior officers were regularly having to go to court (perhaps as a 'nominated representative) due to the military breaking road transport laws. It got rather embarrasing so the Army (who were the main offenders) established the appointment of Master Driver. As I told the new GOC of the 1st Armd Division in 1988, I was his 'No' man as opposed to all the 'Yes' men he was surrounded by.

There were only 27 Master Drivers for the army and the other services didn't have any similar post so we occasionally assisted them. As an advisor to all Commanders in the Division for all aspects of transport management, road safety, traffic and transport law (military regs, UK and German law), driver training and testing, health and safety in the transport environment as well as running the Army Licensing Authority in the Division, managing 35+ driving examiners and now and again having to play soldiers (Desk Officer (Transport) in the Divisional Rear HQ) I was pretty busy and had to be fairly switched on. If some arrogant prick of a Major didn't like my attitude and called me 'Sergeant Major' they found out that I was also a pretty good communicator. If they wanted to push things "I'll have a word with your Commanding Officer!" I used to say "The General will be expecting your call Sir." and I would report the conversation to the Dep Chief of Staff. Great job, great times.

I said to a Lieutenant one time "If you are so stupid and irresponsible in that you are breaking Uk Law, German Law and Military Regulations, do you think you are responsible enough to command soldiers?".

So yeah, they were often grateful for my input.

[Wossname]

senior officers don't like being told what to do

I'm sure there are times when they're grateful

The 2 who joined in at the end are on the wrong foot.

What do I win?