Overblown headlines

[cheb]

I'll start with: Heathrow: British Airways and Virgin Atlantic planes collide.

Spoiler

They clipped wingtips while being one was being towed

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-68749072

[wheelnut]

They’ve changed it now,

The DM had one earlier ‘planes collide in horror runway collision’. Also been removed,.

[Rockburner]

Remember... "Print what sells".

[Count Steer]

Remember... "Print what sells".

...and publish what gets clicks.

I listened to the non-story about bad aeroplane parking on the radio expecting some horror story and thought

The BBC news website is quite amusing/sad in the bit where they run through the days papers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-the-papers-68754065

The wood-pulp wasters are on form...

'Seagull watches football on telly'
'Something about Corrie'

Surprisingly the Express doesn't have a pensioner friendly headline as it usually does - 'new wonder spinach poultice cure for arthritis' sort of thing.

You can usually write half the headlines in advance.

[Bigjawa]

You forgot the utter horror of any "news" website with <placename>Live in the title.

"We tried Belfast's latest food truck and we'll be back"

No love, you were given free food from a place that charges a fucking tenner for a toastie and the only reason you'll be back is when they go bust and some other hipster moron decides to sell a packet of crisps and a bap for 12 quid as an artisan crisp roll.

They're just advertorials for food places and stories stolen off Twitter and Reddit.

[gremlin]

I love the ones I see on my Google home page, 'I'm a [Insert Job Title]. There are [Insert number of Items, plus Item] that I would never [Insert verb]!.

Such as, 'I'm a vet, there are five dogs I would never own!'

or

'I'm a car trader. There are ten cars I would never buy!'

Sometimes there's a variation, just to keep me hooked, such as: 'I'm a car trader. There are ten cars you must buy now!'

[Horse]

You forgot the utter horror of any "news" website with <placename>Live in the title.

Our 'local' newspaper was founded in 1867 and has been published continuously from its Victorian beginning through to the present day.

But in 2019, the paper was sold to Iliffe Media Group.

No longer printed here, instead transported half way across the country.

It has a website. The quality of journalism is hilarious/appalling. It will tell us about road closures, but not say when ...

And many 'news' stories have little or no relevance to the local area - some are syndicated across more than a dozen other 'local' sites.

Best of all, they require payment to read this online drivel. And don't seem to realise that Googlng the link text opens the story!

[Pirahna]

The Exact Date UK Will Be Hit By Snow Bomb

[Wossname]

Town Devastated As Man Dies.

[ChrisW]

"Heatwave forecast for April with temperatures to soar to 28C"

That'll be soon, right?

[Count Steer]

This one made me laugh from the Daily Telegraph:

'Garry Richardson's BBC exit is a huge loss'

GB 'News' was even dafter: 'BBC suffers another blow as veteran radio presenter QUITS after 50 years'.

Me? Dancing in the streets. Garry 'the Twat' is finally going! At last and huzzah!! About time someone else got a chance after he's been hogging the sports limelight for so long. He's 68, nice fat pension, bye bye.

[irie]

This one made me laugh from the Daily Telegraph:

'Garry Richardson's BBC exit is a huge loss'

GB 'News' was even dafter: 'BBC suffers another blow as veteran radio presenter QUITS after 50 years'.

Me? Dancing in the streets. Garry 'the Twat' is finally going! At last and huzzah!! About time someone else got a chance after he's been hogging the sports limelight for so long. He's 68, nice fat pension, bye bye.

Who?

[McNab]

From PlanetF1:

Unseen footage reveals Lewis Hamilton, Red Bull crash before Japanese GP start

Spoiler

The gist of the story is that Hamilton tripped over a cable to the Red Bull car as he was riding his scooter to the grid.

[Taipan]

Super soaraway headlines were best, but this and the follow up take some beating!

[Jody]

On the news this morning (Radio X)

Police are searching for a suspect after a woman was stabbed with a pram

[Mussels]

Super soaraway headlines were best, but this and the follow up take some beating!

They also failed to read their own headline and realise it wasn't his hamster.

[Yorick]

Super soaraway headlines were best, but this and the follow up take some beating!

They also failed to read their own headline and realise it wasn't his hamster.

I've got this book. It's awesome

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[mangocrazy]

You don't strike me as the quintessential Sun reader, @Yorick ?

[Yambo]

Boy, eight, climbs to Mount Everest base camp

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c3gel73j7pno


Errr, no he didn't climb to EBC.

Fair play, it's going to be a pretty tough trek for a 10 year old I think, but there is simply no climbing involved (although I found climbing out of bed some mornings was hard going). It's a good walk, steep in places and the reduced oxygen in the air makes it tougher as does carrying a 15kg rucksack but it's not difficult.

She said they had walked dusk to dawn for nine days to reach the camp.

Maximum of 7 hours a day for us for 9 days and we took a day off in Namche Bazaar and another day out to do Ama Dablam base camp.

They are now climbing back down from base camp.

They're not doing that either.

[McNab]

I guess climbing means different things to different people. To me, climbing involves ropes and pitons and vertical rock faces. To others, it's walking up a big hill.

People are always climbing Kilimanjaro for charity, but it just looks like a big walk to me, a tough one for sure, but still just walking up a big hill.