First world problems: Tightening a toilet seat

[Mr Moofo]

My bog seat has started to move after step son and the kids came to live for a week. It wouldn't be an issue because the wing nut style key, that tightens the bolts is in the bathroom cupboard, where it always is. But it's not, it would appear to have been tidied up into the place where nothing ever returns.
No problem - buy another - they don't seem to exist.
Use a toilet seat wrench from ebay - looks like it will work. It doesn't, as there is limited access space , there is ledge that juts put and the tail of the long thread bar. I cannot access using a deep socket either.

Anyone one have any bright ideas better than my wife "well, you must have put it somewhere !" (I didn't)

[KungFooBob]

Burn the house down. Claim on the insurance. Buy a new house with a firmly attached bog seat.

[cheb]

Borrow one from the sort of annoying git who knows where his is?

Is this the sort of thing you have carelessly mislaid:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285029131062 ... R4j-osfWYw

[Horse]

Anyone one have any bright ideas better than my wife

Anyone you know could 3D print one to set of dimensions?

[Count Steer]

I've got one (or two) somewhere. I'll have a rummage in the toolbox. (I guess if I find it, that makes me an ^^^^ annoying git. Arf!)

(I replaced the bog seat in milady's bathroom because she'd managed to make it go skew-wiff and even after resetting it she managed to do it again. Bought the finest wooden seat money can buy/Screwfix stock Sticky pads etc. Tightened it down like a tight thing. A few days later it was on the move. So I tweaked it and she's banned from using it now and has to use, what we call 'the workman's toilet' (it's not in the bathroom or the shower room, just a bog and the seat has been on for ages). So far )

[Count Steer]

Found it! It's for a Croydex seat and is about 10mm across-the-flats hexagon key. If you want to PM me an address I can pop it in the post if you'll send it back after.

[mangocrazy]

The bog seat in our loo always used to sllde off to one side no matter how firmly the fixing screws were tightened. After examination it was due to the fact the the fixing bolt(s) were M6 and the holes in which they operated were 20-25mm wide. So I rummaged through various tool boxes and pieces of tubing and made it so that with a mixture of copper pipe and rubber and poly fuel hose stacked together the mounting bolt was forced to be central in its hole and couldn't swerve left or right, front or back.

I now have a rock solid platform from which to execute my dumps.

[Mr Moofo]

Burn the house down. Claim on the insurance. Buy a new house with a firmly attached bog seat.

That was my plan, but now you have exposed it to the public domain, I will have to have a plan B.

[Mr Moofo]

Borrow one from the sort of annoying git who knows where his is?

Is this the sort of thing you have carelessly mislaid:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285029131062 ... R4j-osfWYw

I bought one of those but because of the access and lip, it won’t fit in. If they made a smaller length one, it would have.

[Count Steer]

Borrow one from the sort of annoying git who knows where his is?

Is this the sort of thing you have carelessly mislaid:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285029131062 ... R4j-osfWYw

I bought one of those but because of the access and lip, it won’t fit in. If they made a smaller length one, it would have.

Looking at the one here, those threaded sections must be fit-all-bogs. They could be considerably shorter on the bog here so a socket would work. Oddly, in the Croydex spares, none of the spares kits use the key thing, they all seem to use Allen keys. Maybe I've got the instructions for another seat in my toolbox along with the key??

Edit: nope, just looked at the fitting instructions on Screwfix and it's a Croydex 'Rutland' oak seat and uses a key.

[cheb]

Remove the entire toilet and install a squat hole.

[Horse]

Remove the entire toilet and install a squat hole.

Removing the porcelain and U bend in our bathroom would reveal a hole in the wall.

Sub-optimal?

[cheb]

A doctor's couch complete with the stirrups: Ready, aim, FIRE.

[Cousin Jack]

A doctor's couch complete with the stirrups: Ready, aim, FIRE.

Equivalent to shitting through the eye of a needle. And probably just as unsuccessful.

[Mr Moofo]

Sorted by the lateral thinking of the Count !

I knew that 45 year old 1/2 inch ring spanner would come in usefull one day.
Glad I kept it!

[Count Steer]

Sorted by the lateral thinking of the Count !

I knew that 45 year old 1/2 inch ring spanner would come in usefull one day.
Glad I kept it!

Woohoo!

Did you do the bendy thing with it?

[Mr Moofo]

Sorted by the lateral thinking of the Count !

I knew that 45 year old 1/2 inch ring spanner would come in usefull one day.
Glad I kept it!

Woohoo!

Did you do the bendy thing with it?

Didn't need to - there was just enough clearance to get purchase on the bolt. Threaded rods cut down and now a deep socket works

[Count Steer]

indeed!

In case anyone else suffers from an attack of 'wonky wipers' - apparently there's more than one size of nut/key on bog seat fittings. 10mm and 12mm/half inch-ish.

[Rockburner]

indeed!

In case anyone else suffers from an attack of 'wonky wipers' - apparently there's more than one size of nut/key on bog seat fittings. 10mm and 12mm/half inch-ish.

oddly enough - the same options exist for side-light bulb-fittings...

(ie the bit that holds the bulb and screws to the lampstand)