Jokes Thread

[Felix]

I've just sold my collection of Dusty Springfield records. Now I just don't know what to do with my shelf.

[KungFooBob]

I've just sold my collection of Dusty Springfield records. Now I just don't know what to do with my shelf.

Shut it, you boaby!

[Felix]

I've just sold my collection of Dusty Springfield records. Now I just don't know what to do with my shelf.

Shut it, you boaby!

Bawbag

[Horse]

20240113_091144.jpg (211.76 KiB) Viewed 575 times

[Wossname]

Not long before he died, my grandad rubbed lard all over his back. He went downhill quite quickly after that.

[KungFooBob]

It's a bit rubbish, but it made me smirk a bit.

[Mr. Dazzle]

It's a bit rubbish

Yeah, that's a scooter.

[Felix]

If you think swimming with Dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with Sharks, cost me an arm and a leg.

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

If you think swimming with Dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with Sharks, cost me an arm and a leg.

I swam with dolphins, we got on really well,we just clicked...

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

NSFW...

[Felix]

If you think swimming with Dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with Sharks, cost me an arm and a leg.

I swam with dolphins, we got on really well,we just clicked...

FFS i thought mine was bad

[Count Steer]

It's not an actual joke but...it made me laugh. I picked up a copy of a local parish mag for December and in the baptisms was:

'Alfie Leonidas Peerless Babington Bamford'

He's really going to hate his parents.

[Greenman]

It's not an actual joke but...it made me laugh. I picked up a copy of a local parish mag for December and in the baptisms was:

'Alfie Leonidas Peerless Babington Bamford'

He's really going to hate his parents.

I was covering for a colleague at a posh private school down in Somerton (big old mansion) a few months ago, i was asked to setup a new pupil user, Charles Bonnington-Smyth 4th.

I asked them how they wanted it setup as i would struggle to get the 4th (they actually specified IVth tbh) on the username, and the teacher just said, just make it 'Bonningtonc' mate...lol

I have had some even worse ones in some inner city schools like: Dwyane Wayne, Gods-Portion Pigeon, King-David Jesus Smith. The latter only lasted about a year until i was asked to rename him to James Smith as his parents told the school they didn't think he was worthy enough of the name anymore and had changed it to James.

There are some messed up people in the world that's for sure.

[mangocrazy]

It's not an actual joke but...it made me laugh. I picked up a copy of a local parish mag for December and in the baptisms was:

'Alfie Leonidas Peerless Babington Bamford'

He's really going to hate his parents.

If he's one of the heirs to the Bamford (earth-moving, diggers, heavy machinery) fortune I doubt he'll be overly bovvered...

[636mick]

It's not an actual joke but...it made me laugh. I picked up a copy of a local parish mag for December and in the baptisms was:

'Alfie Leonidas Peerless Babington Bamford'

He's really going to hate his parents.

If he's one of the heirs to the Bamford (earth-moving, diggers, heavy machinery) fortune I doubt he'll be overly bovvered...

Mmm, doubt he’ll be going to a state school so I imagine he’ll be with numerous like named chums!!

[Count Steer]

It's not an actual joke but...it made me laugh. I picked up a copy of a local parish mag for December and in the baptisms was:

'Alfie Leonidas Peerless Babington Bamford'

He's really going to hate his parents.

If he's one of the heirs to the Bamford (earth-moving, diggers, heavy machinery) fortune I doubt he'll be overly bovvered...

Doubt it. Lord JCB's kids are Joseph Cyril (like the founder), George and Alice....they're not really a Leonidas sort of family. (Not really their patch either).

[Mr. Dazzle]

"Peerless Babbington Bamford" has a kind pleasant cadence to it though

Not sure I'd call my kid that, but maybe as a show name for a dog.

[Taipan]