Jokes Thread

General chat topics, anything and everything you want or need to discuss
User avatar
Noggin
Posts: 8030
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
Location: Ski Resort
Has thanked: 16222 times
Been thanked: 3927 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

Image
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15964 times
Been thanked: 10249 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

Aff It.jpg
Aff It.jpg (53.49 KiB) Viewed 897 times
Top
Mr. Dazzle
Posts: 13954
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:57 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Has thanked: 2552 times
Been thanked: 6257 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

there-once-man-cork-who-got-limericks-and-haiku-confused-classical-poet-domenico-fetti-c-1620-1621.jpeg
there-once-man-cork-who-got-limericks-and-haiku-confused-classical-poet-domenico-fetti-c-1620-1621.jpeg (92.14 KiB) Viewed 868 times
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15964 times
Been thanked: 10249 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:?


Image
Top
User avatar
Count Steer
Posts: 11828
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2021 4:59 pm
Has thanked: 6381 times
Been thanked: 4761 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Count Steer »

Image
Doubt is not a pleasant condition.
But certainty is an absurd one.
Voltaire
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

I bought my daughter a handbag from Iraq.
She phoned to say 'Thanks for the Baghdad'
Top
User avatar
ZRX61
Posts: 5164
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:05 pm
Location: Solar Blight Valley
Has thanked: 1508 times
Been thanked: 1414 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by ZRX61 »

Started seeing a new gal....
She told me that size doesn't matter, but all her dildos look like they're missing a lampshade
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15964 times
Been thanked: 10249 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

I asked my gran what she wants for Christmas, and she said 'A nice green jumper'
So l've bought her a frog.
Top
User avatar
Dodgy69
Posts: 5457
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 6:36 pm
Location: Shrewsbury
Has thanked: 1749 times
Been thanked: 2085 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Dodgy69 »

Went to toysrus yesterday, asked if they got the old game operation.

Was told " no, and there's a 3 year waiting list" bum bum.
Yamaha rocket 3
Top
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6196 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

20231220_200238.jpg
20231220_200238.jpg (181.91 KiB) Viewed 599 times
p
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Top
User avatar
mangocrazy
Posts: 6920
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:58 pm
Has thanked: 2407 times
Been thanked: 3635 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by mangocrazy »

Elon_truck.JPG
Elon_truck.JPG (117.94 KiB) Viewed 513 times
There is no cloud, just somebody else's computer.
Top
User avatar
Skub
Posts: 12171
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 5:32 pm
Location: Norn Iron
Has thanked: 9834 times
Been thanked: 10147 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Skub »

Image
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

410929330_881353790440021_6476572943635869781_n.jpg
410929330_881353790440021_6476572943635869781_n.jpg (7.68 KiB) Viewed 434 times
Top
Mr. Dazzle
Posts: 13954
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:57 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Has thanked: 2552 times
Been thanked: 6257 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

Does he get time and a half for working tonight d'ya reckon?
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

Mr. Dazzle wrote: ↑Sun Dec 24, 2023 6:57 pm Does he get time and a half for working tonight d'ya reckon?
One of my first jobs in 70/80 (Safeway's) it would have been treble time. Double was a Sunday and any other time and a half. Not that i was playing Santa that was just the rates.
Top
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6196 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

20231224_190344.jpg
20231224_190344.jpg (173.6 KiB) Viewed 858 times
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Top
v8-powered
Posts: 2527
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:37 pm
Location: Layer-de-la-Haye
Has thanked: 2248 times
Been thanked: 1242 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by v8-powered »

IMG-20231226-WA0001.jpg
IMG-20231226-WA0001.jpg (65.42 KiB) Viewed 815 times
Top
Mr. Dazzle
Posts: 13954
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:57 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Has thanked: 2552 times
Been thanked: 6257 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

My wife kicked me out because I won't stop doing terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

But don't worry........I will return.
Top

Return to “GENERAL MAYHEM”