Yorick wrote: ↑Mon Nov 06, 2023 9:46 pm
15 minutes ago I started screaming and if there'd been a gun here, I'd have used it.
I made great pals with a lovely couple and the missus is slowly dying. Have made great pals and when we parted earlier it was a bit weepy.
Head was in a mess walking home and when I got in, Pen was on the patio with her UK pals having a great old time giggling and drinking
My head went and wanted to throw and smash things. The urge was berserk, so I screamed. Pen came in and just gave me a long quiet hug.
Calm now but was real scary. Walking nightmare.
The head is a funny thing.
CBA to explain the whole thing, but could write pages and pages trying to explain it
I'm trembling inside, but no idea why. I'm so so happy really, but sometimes I just feel shit. Sometimes 100% unhappy, rather than depressed
Shit Yorick, that sounds bloody scary! Well done to Pen for giving you the hug you obviously needed.
Have a serious think about getting some professional help with that, it sounds to me (as a complete amateur) that you have some unresolved issues with people around you dying. Knowing a bit about your back story I can understand that, time to get some help. Just talking about stuff can help, talk to Pen if you can't/won't go professional. Or just unload to someone on here, take your pick.
Yorick wrote: ↑Mon Nov 06, 2023 9:46 pm
15 minutes ago I started screaming and if there'd been a gun here, I'd have used it.
I made great pals with a lovely couple and the missus is slowly dying. Have made great pals and when we parted earlier it was a bit weepy.
Head was in a mess walking home and when I got in, Pen was on the patio with her UK pals having a great old time giggling and drinking
My head went and wanted to throw and smash things. The urge was berserk, so I screamed. Pen came in and just gave me a long quiet hug.
Calm now but was real scary. Walking nightmare.
The head is a funny thing.
CBA to explain the whole thing, but could write pages and pages trying to explain it
I'm trembling inside, but no idea why. I'm so so happy really, but sometimes I just feel shit. Sometimes 100% unhappy, rather than depressed
Shit Yorick, that sounds bloody scary! Well done to Pen for giving you the hug you obviously needed.
Have a serious think about getting some professional help with that, it sounds to me (as a complete amateur) that you have some unresolved issues with people around you dying. Knowing a bit about your back story I can understand that, time to get some help. Just talking about stuff can help, talk to Pen if you can't/won't go professional. Or just unload to someone on here, take your pick.
I typed it last night as I was feeling it. Seems a bit strange to read it now. But unloading last night has helped me see things.
tricol wrote: ↑Tue Nov 07, 2023 9:55 am
I think I will likely keep it, as I'll have to stump up more money to get something else and I know that will add in more stress.
On another note, I haven't been on medication for my depression/anxiety for years. I found it didn't do anything for me other than some nasty side effects. I do wonder now if it is time to revisit. Something has to change because I'm close to having a breakdown.
It sounds well worth considering. Someone sensible told me the side effects of not going on the tablets can be a lot worse than those from taking the tablets. FWIW I think I was on SSRIs for about a year and they helped me.
MyLittleStudPony wrote: ↑Thu Nov 09, 2023 1:23 pm
Someone sensible told me the side effects of not going on the tablets can be a lot worse than those from taking the tablets. FWIW I think I was on SSRIs for about a year and they helped me.
He doesn't sound very sensible, the tablets might work for some people, but they might be detrimental for others, I certainly wouldn't push them onto anyone with the view that everyone should take them.
MyLittleStudPony wrote: ↑Thu Nov 09, 2023 1:23 pm
Someone sensible told me the side effects of not going on the tablets can be a lot worse than those from taking the tablets. FWIW I think I was on SSRIs for about a year and they helped me.
He doesn't sound very sensible, the tablets might work for some people, but they might be detrimental for others, I certainly wouldn't push them onto anyone with the view that everyone should take them.
The tablets often have what they are meant to prevent listed as side effects, never be afraid to question a mental health prescription especially one by a GP.
mangocrazy wrote: ↑Mon Nov 06, 2023 4:43 pm
I really, really wouldn't beat yourself up about not riding your bike to the limit of its capabilities
That's the tip of the iceberg. I know I've made this about the MT, being a very recent example. But I think lots of my issues stem from the usual low self asteem. It's been talked about many times, in CBT, or other talking therapies. Never really got to the bottom of it. I decided all on my own that I'm shite at most things, whether it's doing something physical, or making stupid choices that I later regret.
I never had any positive re-inforcement growing up. I never got any praise from my parents, I never got asked about the things I liked doing. Only ever being grumbled at, usually for coming home covered in mud from riding my bike or playing football. Nobody took an interest in me. I think that just fills me with self doubt at everything, right down to the silly things like above. You'd think I'd have it figured out at 41.
I could have wrote that last bit and tbh all my issues stem from childhood. It seemed great at the time but the stuff that was missing was apparently essential. Anyway I read one of your previous posts about CBT and how it didn’t work, I did the same and found it bollox. What I have found this year is psychotherapy, in simple terms it’s talking and it works for me as ultimately the answers I find all come from me. I go weekly and prob soon it’ll be fortnightly but have been going since January, I can’t see a time I won’t go even if infrequently. You’ll prob have to go private and it takes several weeks as they have to build a relationship with you especially before pushing a little to get you to think. Reading what you have written I’d say give it a go
Definitely need in person, I also tried SSRI’s and all I got was side effects plus a numbing of things I enjoy so ditched them pretty quick. There’s so many different means if help it can take a while to find the one that fits.
Yorick wrote: ↑Sun Nov 12, 2023 7:34 pm
Hey @Couchy , a few days enduro over here in the cold winter months will put a smile on your face.
I'll go slow so you can keep up
Thanks mate it’s a nice offer and thought, problem I have is I used to enjoy doing things knowing I had a family to go home to. Now I don’t I have no desire to do anything other than sit waiting for the next day I have my daughter. What I wanted is gone so not much point doing anything else anymore.
Yorick wrote: ↑Sun Nov 12, 2023 7:34 pm
Hey @Couchy , a few days enduro over here in the cold winter months will put a smile on your face.
I'll go slow so you can keep up
Thanks mate it’s a nice offer and thought, problem I have is I used to enjoy doing things knowing I had a family to go home to. Now I don’t I have no desire to do anything other than sit waiting for the next day I have my daughter. What I wanted is gone so not much point doing anything else anymore.
You'd be very welcome to bring your daughter here for a free long weekend.
Or half term.
Just giving you options.
When I'm in a hole, I try to look for future happy things.
IME of services it obviously depends very much on the person delivering the service, I went to one chap (private person-centred counsellor) who straightaway announced that he was putting his prices up and so the price he'd told me over the phone when I made the appointment wasn't correct and I'd have to pay him more at the end of the session.
That started things off on a great note and I told him I wouldn't be coming back.
Find a good one though and they're great.
My experience of SSRIs was also the same as most here, didn't work for me.
I have an ex-military mate that found they helped though, but he also acknowledged in retrospect that getting a diagnosis and some pills to take made him feel like he'd started on a pathway to recovery, so he doesn't know if it was actually the tablets, or just the relief of feeling like he was getting somewhere after months of waiting for help.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sure there will be something out there that helps you (whomever you are) and you might have to shop around and try a variety of things until it clicks.
MrLongbeard wrote: ↑Mon Nov 27, 2023 3:06 pm
Noticed I've started to slip, so ordered myself a therapy light
What's one of them then ? Why the slip anything in particular set it off ?
A Seasonal Affective Disorder light (light box) https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/condit ... /overview/ I'm on the fence about them, but my down periods do coincide with the clocks going back, give or take, and my GP and the phone therapist did raise that it could be SAD, but there's not a lot of proper research that I've seen, but for the price it's worth a try.
Why the slip? I don't know, nothing in particular has set me off that I'm aware of, just a darkening of my mood, a shortening of my fuse and being short with the family.
MrLongbeard wrote: ↑Mon Nov 27, 2023 3:06 pm
Noticed I've started to slip, so ordered myself a therapy light
What's one of them then ? Why the slip anything in particular set it off ?
A Seasonal Affective Disorder light (light box) https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/condit ... /overview/ I'm on the fence about them, but my down periods do coincide with the clocks going back, give or take, and my GP and the phone therapist did raise that it could be SAD, but there's not a lot of proper research that I've seen, but for the price it's worth a try.
Why the slip? I don't know, nothing in particular has set me off that I'm aware of, just a darkening of my mood, a shortening of my fuse and being short with the family.
I'm not putting a knocker on this trial. But the days don't get short here like the UK. My problems are all year round.
What's one of them then ? Why the slip anything in particular set it off ?
A Seasonal Affective Disorder light (light box) https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/condit ... /overview/ I'm on the fence about them, but my down periods do coincide with the clocks going back, give or take, and my GP and the phone therapist did raise that it could be SAD, but there's not a lot of proper research that I've seen, but for the price it's worth a try.
Why the slip? I don't know, nothing in particular has set me off that I'm aware of, just a darkening of my mood, a shortening of my fuse and being short with the family.
I'm not putting a knocker on this trial. But the days don't get short here like the UK. My problems are all year round.
Good luck though
I'm normally fine spring and summer, or if when we have a proper cold bright white snow winter, but these short days, grey drab wet time really seems to set me off.
I'm no expert on the subject and I appreciate some suffer a lot more than others, but these miserable, grey, wet, cold ,short days of the british winter are enough to depress anyone.
We’re used to hearing about how too much of the sun’s warm rays can be harmful to your skin. But did you know the right balance can have lots of mood-lifting benefits?
Sunlight and darkness trigger the release of hormones in your brain. Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused. At night, darker lighting triggers the brain to make another hormone called melatonin. This hormone is responsible for helping you sleep.
Without enough sun exposure, your serotonin levels can dip. Low levels of serotonin are associated with a higher risk of major depression with seasonal pattern (formerly known as seasonal affective disorder or SAD). This is a form of depression triggered by the changing seasons.
A mood boost isn’t the only reason to get increased amounts of sunlight. There are several health benefits associated with catching moderate amounts of rays.
MrLongbeard wrote: ↑Mon Nov 27, 2023 3:06 pm
Noticed I've started to slip, so ordered myself a therapy light
The wifes CPN was always saying to her to try one as like you the drab winter nights is the slippery slope south. She never did do anything about it but this year, so far has been good for her. Step daughter just got married and now the first grandkid to look forward to. Step son announced his girlfriend is now pregnant also so fingers crossed the black dog stays away this winter, from this door at least.
