Stupid work sayings..

[Count Steer]

I worked at one place where they had a 'staff turnover problem' ie people kept leaving. They thought that sending everyone in 'management' on an 'Understanding Working Relationships' course would help. My boss stormed out of his because 'people weren't respectful', another guy was so broken by the experience he drove away from the course (nice Brighton hotel ), went to fill up the car with petrol and drove off having neglected to pay.

I thought it was an absolute riot.

(One thing they never got to grips with was that all the good people were going for more money. What they needed to do was pay the good ones more and dump, from a great height, on the dross. I left....and got more money ).

[asmethurst99]

Scoping out the provider landscape
Our chief exec is a “place based leader”

[Yambo]

Scoping out the provider landscape
Our chief exec is a “place based leader”

I hope your chief exec knows what that means because I sure as shit don't.

I've known a few leaders and some good ones too so I doubt your chief exec is a 'leader'. If he's only 'place based' which is the place he's a leader in - his nursery?

[asmethurst99]

Scoping out the provider landscape
Our chief exec is a “place based leader”

I hope your chief exec knows what that means because I sure as shit don't.

I've known a few leaders and some good ones too so I doubt your chief exec is a 'leader'. If he's only 'place based' which is the place he's a leader in - his nursery?

He’s a she - it’s NHS stuff - I think leader is a term for management now - an alternative that’s seen as less perjorative - I still can’t stand it ….

[Yambo]

Scoping out the provider landscape
Our chief exec is a “place based leader”

I hope your chief exec knows what that means because I sure as shit don't.

I've known a few leaders and some good ones too so I doubt your chief exec is a 'leader'. If he's only 'place based' which is the place he's a leader in - his nursery?

He’s a she - it’s NHS stuff - I think leader is a term for management now - an alternative that’s seen as less perjorative - I still can’t stand it ….

If you want to call yourself a 'leader' you have to know, not guess, that 'the people' will follow you. I doubt very much that your NHS manager is a leader. She probably knows that . . .

No fucker is leading the NHS.

[Mussels]

Never heard of the sunset analogy until just now, but it does make sense to me!

I prefer to use obsolescent with non technical types, make them go and look up the proper word.

[wheelnut]

There's a pair that go together well:

Never assume
We're here to help

The nine most terrifying words in the English language ’I’m from the government and I’m here to help’.

(Said in a speech by Ronald Reagan I think).

[Horse]

I worked at one place where they had a 'staff turnover problem' ie people kept leaving.

'Churn'

According to one head honcho (and I'm 'interpreting' this as how it came across to us) "It's good that people are leaving", because our 'churn rate' was lower than average.

[the_priest]

Let us pray....

Works for me!

[Taipan]

I hope your chief exec knows what that means because I sure as shit don't.

I've known a few leaders and some good ones too so I doubt your chief exec is a 'leader'. If he's only 'place based' which is the place he's a leader in - his nursery?

He’s a she - it’s NHS stuff - I think leader is a term for management now - an alternative that’s seen as less perjorative - I still can’t stand it ….

If you want to call yourself a 'leader' you have to know, not guess, that 'the people' will follow you. I doubt very much that your NHS manager is a leader. She probably knows that . . .

No fucker is leading the NHS.

In our place, the meaning of the word seems split. Not so much of a all hail the mighty leader, more who is leading or the leader on a project. I think they'd implode if they thought they had given themselves a moniker that had some sort of military title about it!

[Horse]

Let us pray....

Works for me!

"Inshalah"

[Count Steer]

One place I was at had people designated as 'thought leaders' on a range of topics.

I thought it was toss really but it did mean you knew who to talk to if you wanted a view on where various industry sectors were going etc and what you might do to stay ahead of the game in a particular area. Some of them were v brainy, with deep sector knowledge and some had very few interpersonal skills so they coached the people you could put in front of a customer. I think it encouraged them to share and stop people going 'I'm the expert, therefore I'm irreplaceable, so why would I help you be expert too?'

[Bike Breaker]

In my last part time job (NHS Corporate Governance) before I gave up work completely as a bad idea, everyone was invited to add their preferred pronouns to their email signature. I was sent on a course[1] after complaints for putting " Me Me Me" in the sig space.

[1] Not even a real course where I could have had a bit of sport, but an online one where I just had to tick boxes.

It looks to me that your knowledge of English grammar was superior to theirs.

Let us pray....

Works for me!

Yebbut when you've got the top boss on your side...................

[Trinity765]

There's a new one at work, people popping up on teams with "QQ".

[mangocrazy]

There's a new one at work, people popping up on teams with "QQ".

That'll be 'Quick Question', which in my (past) experience was anything but quick...

[Greenman]

Windows Upbreaks is a commonly used phrase between techies in the new company.

Crapple, obviously referring to apple is another fav.

[ZRX61]

My favourite work catchphrase is;
There's no I in team but there is a U in cunt

There's three in "Fuck off you cunt"

[Mr Moofo]

"commonality"

"currency"

[The Martian]

My favourite work catchphrase is;
There's no I in team but there is a U in cunt

There's three in "Fuck off you cunt"

Bit rude though innit.

[Sunny]

I worked at one place where they had a 'staff turnover problem' ie people kept leaving.

'Churn'

According to one head honcho (and I'm 'interpreting' this as how it came across to us) "It's good that people are leaving", because our 'churn rate' was lower than average.

It's 'attrition' these days.

Trends in terminology is a weird thing. The transition from Personnel > HR > People for example. Or Management Information > Business Intelligence > Data.