Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Count Steer]

Just wait a bit. Local dairy farmers will get complaints about cows mooing when they get separated from their calves....

Funnily enough, today on the local nextdoor.com someone reported the sound of some very distressed sounding cows mooing overnight. The owner explained they'd been separated from their calves and it would calm down after a couple of days. Lots of people then asked why they'd been separated.

Where do people think their cow's milk comes from and why the cows are lactating/producing it? I hope no-one explains to them what happens to the calves that it was produced for. They probably think veal grows on trees and cows give us milk because they like us.

[Horse]

I hope no-one explains to them what happens to the calves that it was produced for.

# Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when ...

I'll get my blanket.

[Count Steer]

I hope no-one explains to them what happens to the calves that it was produced for.

# Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when ...

I'll get my blanket.

I only knew the Japanese/Icelandic/Norwegian version...whale meat again...

[Jody]

I'm beyond pissed off with insurance companies.

A few weeks ago I was relieved to find a company to insure the monster so I could take it to somewhere to get a certificate to start the registration process.

After I filled in the form and paid two months premium the fukkers then came back and said that actually they can only insure once it's got French reg or proof that it's in process of that.


So, I have to get a CoC or certificate from DREAL (like VOSA) or a CoC from Ducati

To achieve either I have to ride it to one of those place to get it inspected so I can get a certificate

To ride it to one of those places I need insurance

But I can't get insurance until I have the certificate so I can start the registration process so that I can get the insurance




TBF, it's been snowing today (not settling on the roads), and the weekend is likely to be dry. But looks like the Monster won't go further than the garage that I can't get it out of until Spring cos I won't be able to ride it all winter anyway

Unless someone can get me a copy of a CoC for a '98 Monster that I can get 'adjusted' to show my bikes details so that I can start the process (My French friends have told me to do this but I have no idea how to get a CoC from the dark web - which is what two of them have told me to do!! If I see either of them anytime soon I'll be asking them to do the downloading for me!!!)

I recently got a CoC for my ktm 690 (€200)
I've been considering uploading it to the KTM forum. Just so, well, just so people can see what they look like

[Noggin]

I recently got a CoC for my ktm 690 (€200)
I've been considering uploading it to the KTM forum. Just so, well, just so people can see what they look like

Sounds like a good idea! I need to see a UK one and an EU one to see what the differences are because I 'might' be able to get a UK version, but with some cars/vans, that isn't good enough to reregister here (There's a line in some of the UK ones that discounts it being used - don't think that's in the moto versions, but I'm not sure, so could do with checking!!!)

[Pirahna]

Just paid another speeding ticket for wifey, it was my fault because I didn't tell her what the speed limit was. This one was on a French motorway north of Paris. 104 in a 90 for a €45 fine.

[Skub]

Just paid another speeding ticket for wifey, it was my fault because I didn't tell her what the speed limit was. This one was on a French motorway north of Paris. 104 in a 90 for a €45 fine.

It's always your fault by default!

[gremlin]

People who relate a story to you, that is so obviously an urban myth*, but insist that it's absolutely true as it happened to their mate's brother's uncle or some such....


*Story relates to a joint hen and stag party, Amsterdam, a glory hole and the bride and the bride's father. You can guess the rest.

[Mussels]

People who relate a story to you, that is so obviously an urban myth*, but insist that it's absolutely true as it happened to their mate's brother's uncle or some such....


*Story relates to a joint hen and stag party, Amsterdam, a glory hole and the bride and the bride's father. You can guess the rest.

I think that was in the press a few days ago, I dodn't believe it then either.

[Wossname]

On the positive side, that has explained why our offspring sniggered behind their hands when my wife told them to hang the kids coats in the “glory hole”. It’s the cupboard under the stairs, obviously, always has been.

Until now….

[Felix]

Just paid another speeding ticket for wifey, it was my fault because I didn't tell her what the speed limit was. This one was on a French motorway north of Paris. 104 in a 90 for a €45 fine.

Get her a cheap sat nav. This is a cheap Xgody what bottom left is telling me i am traveling at 62mph. Above its is telling me the road is 70mph what to the left is 100kph and i am 12% under the limit. When i go over the font turns red and says +12% That hac be switched to KPH and mph lower right.

20230924_153514.jpg (553.14 KiB) Viewed 300 times

[Mussels]

Just paid another speeding ticket for wifey, it was my fault because I didn't tell her what the speed limit was. This one was on a French motorway north of Paris. 104 in a 90 for a €45 fine.

Get her a cheap sat nav. This is a cheap Xgody what bottom left is telling me i am traveling at 62mph. Above its is telling me the road is 70mph what to the left is 100kph and i am 12% under the limit. When i go over the font turns red and says +12% That hac be switched to KPH and mph lower right.

20230924_153514.jpg

I can't see that working, how will the satnav pay her fines?

[Pirahna]

Just paid another speeding ticket for wifey, it was my fault because I didn't tell her what the speed limit was. This one was on a French motorway north of Paris. 104 in a 90 for a €45 fine.

Get her a cheap sat nav. This is a cheap Xgody what bottom left is telling me i am traveling at 62mph. Above its is telling me the road is 70mph what to the left is 100kph and i am 12% under the limit. When i go over the font turns red and says +12% That hac be switched to KPH and mph lower right.

She was using Android Auto, the speed limit was displayed.

Last time it happened she was caught by a camera van in Wales a couple of years ago and had to do a speed awareness course.

[Taipan]

Being taken for a mug.

Being a lazy git, at around 11pm last night, I hailed a black cab at the top of East Smithfield, near Tower Bridge, and asked to go to London Bridge Station. Now, being a proper cock-er-nay geezer, with knowledge of the City having worked in it for years, I knew that a cheeky left over Tower Bridge, followed by a right into Tooley Street would bring me slap-bang outside the entrance.

For reasons I couldn't fathom, Mr. Taxi Driver went straight on and down Lower Thames Street. 'Which route you taking, mate?' I asked. The mumbled reply was that Tower Bridge was busy (which it wasn't) and that he couldn't turn right onto Tooley Street (being a licensed taxi, he can). Hence we took a lovely tour of that part of the City, including crossing Southwark Bridge and then the big loop back to London Bridge Station.

'£15.80' he chirpily informed me when we pulled up.

'No it ain't', said this wise old owl, 'It'll be £7 and you'll be bloody happy I don't report your badge to the PCO. Have a good night'.


Spoke to my mate who's been driving a taxi in the Smoke for a years this morning. He was livid and said I should report him on the basis that he's either incompetent or a rip-off merchant.

It's why I have a distrust of London's cabbies as this has gone on for years. Ripping off tourists on airport runs into the city was so lucrative it would get violent over who could park up at heathow etc. I'm pretty sure there was even a newspaper article or tv program about it?

I used cabs a fair amount at one point as we had bags to carry. Cabs assumed you were a tourist despite getting off at Fenchurch St, but asking for tottenham court road or russell square would see them going on a longer route every time and many an argument ensued. We'd have to ask them to go past St pauls and high Holborn or mystriously they'd try and head up old street/a501 way, citing they were avoiding heavy traffic through the city if questioned. It was clearly a common deception as they always said the same thing when asked where we/they were going!

It's why i use Ubers, or Bolts, here and abroad as you get a quote and prepay, so you know whats happening. Uber prices change depending on demand but you know the price before prepaying, whereas in a cab the meter keeps ticking depending on how they can lengthen the journey.

[gremlin]

Just for balance, the night prior to this little episode, I got a cab from more or less the same place to London Bridge and the female cabbie was the paragon of professionalism, and we had a good chat about family, the worry of dustbin lids, etc., who did take the right-hand turn on the south side of Tower Bridge into Tooley Street, hence why I knew the next bloke was talking out of his bottle and glass.

Matey boy was, in my experience, very much the exception to the rule.

[Taipan]

With everybody having phones and maps etc I'd kind of expect things to have improved, but the trust has gone for me as it was too frequent of an occurance and Uber gives me a better option.

[gremlin]

With everybody having phones and maps etc I'd kind of expect things to have improved, but the trust has gone for me as it was too frequent of an occurance and Uber gives me a better option.

Where your average Uber driver falls flat is not having a very vocal opinion on who should be managing the England football team and how to solve all of London's traffic issues if they became mayor.

[cheb]

That my new bread bin has a bowed base and therefore doesn't sit right.

It's probably why it was in a skip.

[Jody]

Washing machines !!!

Why is it, that from the second it starts the door is locked tighter than fort knox. No amount of fiddling with the buttons or switching the power off is enough to let the damn door open WHY FFS

[Horse]

That my new bread bin has a bowed base and therefore doesn't sit right.