Depression

[Couchy]

Do I write something here or not, I’d rather share a little. Since Grib passed some 14 years ago I’ve suffered massively with anxiety which if not kept in check turned to depression. I’ve hidden it well from most people except my wife. After a crap year she finally told me the marriage was over on Monday. I’ve had therapy all year and the anxiety is managed thankfully. But now I’m gonna be a lonely single old man sat in a house when I find one waiting for my daughter to visit. Keeping myself busy looking for a house as we’ve agreed all the split details…well I’ve agreed what’s been proposed but tbh dreading the first few nights alone. There’s a slight worry I won’t make it through them but that’s another discussion I won’t have. So here I am again starting over with no desire to do it.

[mangocrazy]

Really sorry to hear that Couchy. Even when there's not much spark left in a relationship it's still comforting to know that there's someone in the house besides yourself. Being on your own (when you don't want to be) and getting old is no fun, and especially when it signals the end of a marriage. When my wife and I have had some bad arguments potentially leading to a split it's a bit like looking into the abyss. So far we've managed to hold it together, but there's no guarantee that it will stay that way. When you're younger you can deal with stuff like that better, but it's harder as you get older.

All I can suggest is to re-build bridges with friends you may have let slip and try to keep socialised. Talking to people, even if it's only on a forum, keeps the old grey matter ticking. Face to face is best, but any kind of interaction is good.

[Screwdriver]

Under such terrible circumstances, for which sincere condolences, you might look for some way to make the house purchase a positive experience. Something that will open up this next stage of your life. Personally, I'd be looking for somewhere that had potential for building a really nice shed/workshop or garage(s). Plan to make yourself busy. If that's not your bag, spend some time thinking about what it is you're going to do with your life and find somewhere that supports that ambition.

When suffering from depression, you can't focus on the negative because if you are expecting your life to become a miserable lonely existence, well, that's what you'll end up creating for yourself. It is a self fulfilling prophesy and incredibly self destructive.

[Potter]

Best wishes mate, I feel like I have no words, but I'm sending best wishes anyway

[Couchy]

Under such terrible circumstances, for which sincere condolences, you might look for some way to make the house purchase a positive experience. Something that will open up this next stage of your life. Personally, I'd be looking for somewhere that had potential for building a really nice shed/workshop or garage(s). Plan to make yourself busy. If that's not your bag, spend some time thinking about what it is you're going to do with your life and find somewhere that supports that ambition.

When suffering from depression, you can't focus on the negative because if you are expecting your life to become a miserable lonely existence, well, that's what you'll end up creating for yourself. It is a self fulfilling prophesy and incredibly self destructive.

I don’t believe I’m depressed I think I’ve reached a point I’ve done enough and not bothered about anything else. Obviously I’ve fit my daughter so need to think about her but as I said for me I don’t care anymore. I’ll try and do my best and if it doesn’t work at least I’ve tried.

[Screwdriver]

I don’t believe I’m depressed I think I’ve reached a point I’ve done enough and not bothered about anything else. Obviously I’ve fit my daughter so need to think about her but as I said for me I don’t care anymore. I’ll try and do my best and if it doesn’t work at least I’ve tried.

I may actually be suffering from a similar mood. Done everything I was inclined to do, can't think of anything I would feel passionate about doing next. And even if I could, I probably wouldn't do it anyway.

Even eating properly is a daily chore. I try to fill up the days with something useful, make some sort of contribution but most of the time I just look forwards to going to bed!

Ended up becoming a sort of handyman for the local neighbourhood. Not for the money per se (I am stupidly cheap) but just so that I am doing something. Anything.

Things have picked up a bit recently now that I am on a medication which allegedly mitigates the effect of my illness. Just in time for the long, dark, cold winter. Might think about getting some stupidly bright lighting to ward off the SAD but being alone (and old!) is kinda boring.

If that sounds familiar and you can think of a way out, I'm all ears.

[MyLittleStudPony]

Do I write something here or not, I’d rather share a little. Since Grib passed some 14 years ago I’ve suffered massively with anxiety which if not kept in check turned to depression. I’ve hidden it well from most people except my wife. After a crap year she finally told me the marriage was over on Monday. I’ve had therapy all year and the anxiety is managed thankfully. But now I’m gonna be a lonely single old man sat in a house when I find one waiting for my daughter to visit. Keeping myself busy looking for a house as we’ve agreed all the split details…well I’ve agreed what’s been proposed but tbh dreading the first few nights alone. There’s a slight worry I won’t make it through them but that’s another discussion I won’t have. So here I am again starting over with no desire to do it.

I'm really sorry to hear that mate. I think I can understand how hard it must be, although everyone is different.

I posted on here (well, the last place) when depression came to me after my marriage ended. It completely swept the rug out from under me and I was a real mess. I often felt going on was not worth it and so not going on was the obvious choice. I hung in there (for my kids more than anything) and slowly improved after bouncing along the bottom for some time. Now I'm better than ever and loving life. But I have some insight into how hard it can be.

I know everyone's situation is different but I do know things can improve massively with time and a bit of support. Reach out for that, however is best for you. I lost count of the times I thought those terrible thoughts, rang the Samaritans, called NHS 111 option 2, unloaded and cried to friends in person or on the phone and did other things which were darker and more desperate. Getting support helped get me through it (as did the tablets!). It all passed. Recovery happens and you will feel great about life again, I promise.

If you ever want, give me a shout, anytime, I'm not a million miles away I think.

[Count Steer]

Best wishes Couchy, sincerely hope you get through this OK.

[Skub]

Take care couchy and be well,even the shitty times pass.

[tricol]

Take it easy Couchy, break ups of any magnitude can be so difficult. I'm sure all will work out for you in end

[Dodgy69]

I've got nothing to add really other than, I know quite a few who's marriages have broken down, fast forward a few month's and the smiles are back.

Shit doesn't last for ever.

[Taipan]

End of one chapter and the start of a new one. You're a smart cookie Couchie, hang in there...

[DefTrap]

End of one chapter and the start of a new one. You're a smart cookie Couchie, hang in there...

I'd go along with that.
There's loads of things a single man could do that a married man probably shouldn't. It'll take the sting out anyway.

[porter_jamie]

Just like to share something I've discovered. I have been struggling a bit recently with brain fog, headaches, tiredness, irritability and worse, pain sometimes debilitating.
Anyway I watched a Joe Rogan episode with Jordan Peterson about the carnivore diet and that made me research it and I've found some crazy stuff. So many people have found it helps them mentally and physically so I thought well it's worth a go.
Been on it nearly 4 weeks and if you had told me how much better I felt I wouldn't have believed you. Truly amazing. I can keep awake all day I used to get so tired I'd have to snooze in the car, brain fog lifted, mood significantly better people at work have mentioned it randomly, pains much better, oh and almost a stone has fallen off. I never feel hungry. At all.
Cos I'm an idiot i can't do diets..this is easy cos it's just meat. Missus says I'm very calm.since I started. I must have had a bad reaction to sugar or carbs
I'm not saying it's a good idea and I'm not saying you should do it but if you are struggling with any of that stuff, look it up and see if it might help you.

I'd appreciate if that you think my diet is bad for me or whatever to keep it to yourself. Its my choice and I know what I'm doing and have a plan. I love vegetables but I love not feeling completely awful more. thanks I'm advance.

[Noggin]

Just like to share something I've discovered. I have been struggling a bit recently with brain fog, headaches, tiredness, irritability and worse, pain sometimes debilitating.
Anyway I watched a Joe Rogan episode with Jordan Peterson about the carnivore diet and that made me research it and I've found some crazy stuff. So many people have found it helps them mentally and physically so I thought well it's worth a go.
Been on it nearly 4 weeks and if you had told me how much better I felt I wouldn't have believed you. Truly amazing. I can keep awake all day I used to get so tired I'd have to snooze in the car, brain fog lifted, mood significantly better people at work have mentioned it randomly, pains much better, oh and almost a stone has fallen off. I never feel hungry. At all.
Cos I'm an idiot i can't do diets..this is easy cos it's just meat. Missus says I'm very calm.since I started. I must have had a bad reaction to sugar or carbs
I'm not saying it's a good idea and I'm not saying you should do it but if you are struggling with any of that stuff, look it up and see if it might help you.

I'd appreciate if that you think my diet is bad for me or whatever to keep it to yourself. Its my choice and I know what I'm doing and have a plan. I love vegetables but I love not feeling completely awful more. thanks I'm advance.

I have a friend who's been on the carnivore diet for about two years. She looks AMAZING, feels great and has lost loads of weight. I could almost do it but every now and then I crave green veg, so on that basis, I must need veg (since I don't really like the stuff in general!! LOL) so I tend to be protein heavy but not actually carnivore.

It's something I've learnt over the years that whatever a person says 'YOU MUST DO' to be healthy/lose weight/blah blah blah, you really do have to find the diet/way of eating (I can't do 'diets' either) that suits you. No one thing suits everyone. My Dad does keto - has done for about 3 years (since he saw a photo of himself and a couple of others in my 50th birthday photos). He looks and feels amazing, healthy and slimmer - but no way could I do that diet!!

Food does have a massive impact on brain function/mood. Something that main stream medic peeps haven't really got the time to research.

Good for you for finding something that works so well

[Potter]

I must have had a bad reaction to sugar or carbs

That ^

I don't think it's so much about eating meat, as it is about not eating sugar and processed carbs, I bet you'd feel just as good if you ate only raw vegetables, although as you said, I'm not here to criticise anything, fair play to you, I'm just offering my experience of why these diets work - it's because they cut out sugar and processed carbs.

I have a cycle, every couple of months I slip and end up on the ice-cream and desserts for about a week, usually due to stress/anxiety and needing some sort of mental escape (sugar is a drug), then I have a massive mood swing and everything is wretched, I can't cope, etc
Then I get back off the sugar and carbs and I'm fine again in a few days.

If your poor diet affects your physical appearance, then it's also doing the same to your brain.

[porter_jamie]

Thanks chaps. I agree with everything you said. However it's working for me. Like I said I'm not trying to persuade you its a good idea. It's just the remarkable difference in how I feel in such a short time frame.
Think if it as the ultimate elimination diet. I am.not eating any sugar or processed shite at all, and lo and behold I feel great. Not surprisingly really if you think about it.
The fact remains, I do feel good though.
When I feel stable day to day things feel ok ik going to slowly Introduce green veggies one at a time to see which ones agree with me or not.
Man I used to be able to eat whole tubs of icream but I accidentally had some honey the other day and it knocked me off my feet for a day in bed all day, and took another day to feel right again.
Like I said I miss veggies but not as much as I like feeling well.

[Taipan]

Just like to share something I've discovered. I have been struggling a bit recently with brain fog, headaches, tiredness, irritability and worse, pain sometimes debilitating.
Anyway I watched a Joe Rogan episode with Jordan Peterson about the carnivore diet and that made me research it and I've found some crazy stuff. So many people have found it helps them mentally and physically so I thought well it's worth a go.
Been on it nearly 4 weeks and if you had told me how much better I felt I wouldn't have believed you. Truly amazing. I can keep awake all day I used to get so tired I'd have to snooze in the car, brain fog lifted, mood significantly better people at work have mentioned it randomly, pains much better, oh and almost a stone has fallen off. I never feel hungry. At all.
Cos I'm an idiot i can't do diets..this is easy cos it's just meat. Missus says I'm very calm.since I started. I must have had a bad reaction to sugar or carbs
I'm not saying it's a good idea and I'm not saying you should do it but if you are struggling with any of that stuff, look it up and see if it might help you.

I'd appreciate if that you think my diet is bad for me or whatever to keep it to yourself. Its my choice and I know what I'm doing and have a plan. I love vegetables but I love not feeling completely awful more. thanks I'm advance.

Check out a guy called Eddie Abbew. https://www.instagram.com/eddie_abbew/ Hes a former British champion body bbuilder or weightlifter and will undoubtedly be appearing on the main stream media soon as he has been calling out processed food manufcaturers and explaining just what is in certain foods. His catchphrase is "This isn't food, this is shit". Anyway, his ever increasing band of followers have started switching to better foods and many are losing weight, getting better physical and mental health etc.

NSFW

[wheelnut]

Nothing profound to add to what’s been said couchy but sending you my best wishes anyway. They say time is a healer - I’m not so sure but it can put distance between you and the shitty events in life which allows you to refocus.

My step-sister took her own life last week. We weren’t close so I wasn’t aware of her state of mind. I’m reasonably close to my step dad and he’s in bits along with his other kids. She left two small children behind. It’s a strange thing as along with the grief it also brings a lot of guilt and anger.

Funeral is today.

[porter_jamie]

Spoke to a counsellor the other day about some stuff. If anyone was considering doing but wasn't sure, or couldn't work out how to,.or work up the courage to, or anything like that - its fine.
I was a bit apprehensive, but clearly this is their job and there's no judgement, they make you feel completely at ease and will find out if they can help you or not.
Absolutely worth doing if you think it might help.
J