Jokes Thread

General chat topics, anything and everything you want or need to discuss
Ant
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:57 pm
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 227 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

Mrs and I checked into a hotel earlier today. Receptionist asks us if we have reservations, I said, well yes but we're still staying here.
Top
Jody
Posts: 1714
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2020 11:49 am
Location: Biarritz in Summer, Cornwall In Autumn, Courchevel in Winter
Has thanked: 1947 times
Been thanked: 1292 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Jody »

Why did the chicken go to the gym

To work on his pecks
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13966
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15982 times
Been thanked: 10259 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
Top
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11563
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6199 times
Been thanked: 5090 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

We had Pluto; talk to the moon and there's only a few seconds delay, but ...

Our team included Golden, Goggle, Blurry, Heebeie Geebie, Baldrick, Kaymack, Burt, and ... Horse :)
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Top
Ant
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:57 pm
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 227 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

A friend of mine's been suffering from paranoid delusions and now he thinks he's a chocolate orange. I just worry that he's going to be sectioned.....

...poor Terry.
Top
Ant
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:57 pm
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 227 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

I stopped in a layby today, saw a sign saying 'no dumping'. That was fine with me as I was only having a wee.
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13966
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15982 times
Been thanked: 10259 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13966
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15982 times
Been thanked: 10259 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
dupe list
Top
Demannu
Posts: 1882
Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 5:14 pm
Location: Another day without using algebra
Has thanked: 65 times
Been thanked: 1235 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

FB_IMG_1687339931010.jpg
FB_IMG_1687339931010.jpg (36.2 KiB) Viewed 255 times
Top
Docca
Posts: 1019
Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2020 7:09 pm
Has thanked: 666 times
Been thanked: 1165 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Docca »

Image
Top
User avatar
Trinity765
Posts: 2321
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2020 2:27 pm
Location: Brighton
Has thanked: 2442 times
Been thanked: 2398 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Trinity765 »

:D
Attachments
FB_IMG_1687359349729.jpg
FB_IMG_1687359349729.jpg (28.86 KiB) Viewed 622 times
Top
Demannu
Posts: 1882
Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 5:14 pm
Location: Another day without using algebra
Has thanked: 65 times
Been thanked: 1235 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg
FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg (56.44 KiB) Viewed 613 times
Top
Ant
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:57 pm
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 227 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

Demannu wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:37 pm FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg
Would you be prepared to say that to those who potentially are waiting to hear that their friends and family have died on that vessel?
Top
Mussels
Posts: 4446
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 9:02 pm
Has thanked: 839 times
Been thanked: 1242 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mussels »

Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:42 pm
Demannu wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:37 pm FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg
Would you be prepared to say that to those who potentially are waiting to hear that their friends and family have died on that vessel?
Will the joke be ok after they find out?
Top
Ant
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:57 pm
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 227 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

Mussels wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:55 pm
Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:42 pm
Demannu wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:37 pm FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg
Would you be prepared to say that to those who potentially are waiting to hear that their friends and family have died on that vessel?
Will the joke be ok after they find out?
Imagine it's a close family member of yours, would it be ok then?
Top
User avatar
Pirahna
Posts: 1951
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:31 pm
Has thanked: 1817 times
Been thanked: 1167 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Pirahna »

Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 5:02 pm
Mussels wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:55 pm
Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:42 pm

Would you be prepared to say that to those who potentially are waiting to hear that their friends and family have died on that vessel?
Will the joke be ok after they find out?
Imagine it's a close family member of yours, would it be ok then?
I agree, I didn't think he could sink so low.
Top
David
Posts: 2134
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:50 am
Location: Top 'o the Worle
Has thanked: 218 times
Been thanked: 689 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by David »

Pirahna wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 5:14 pm
Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 5:02 pm
Mussels wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:55 pm
Will the joke be ok after they find out?
Imagine it's a close family member of yours, would it be ok then?
I agree, I didn't think he could sink so low.
This is all terrible and in awful taste.


Funny as fuck though.
Top
User avatar
Noggin
Posts: 8034
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
Location: Ski Resort
Has thanked: 16233 times
Been thanked: 3933 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

Docca wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 12:44 pm Image
You know when you just know you shouldn't laugh. And definitely not hard, but you can't help it! And there's only one person you can share the joke with - and they aren't picking up whatsapp :lol: :lol:

:oops: :oops:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:oops: :oops:
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
Top
Demannu
Posts: 1882
Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 5:14 pm
Location: Another day without using algebra
Has thanked: 65 times
Been thanked: 1235 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:42 pm
Demannu wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:37 pm FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg
Would you be prepared to say that to those who potentially are waiting to hear that their friends and family have died on that vessel?
Not particularly happy that they are/were gawping at my gr uncle's grave.
And yes, I'd have no issues whatsoever repeating that to anyones face. Never said anything on the Internet I wouldn't say in the real world
Top
Docca
Posts: 1019
Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2020 7:09 pm
Has thanked: 666 times
Been thanked: 1165 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Docca »

Ant wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:42 pm
Demannu wrote: ↑Wed Jun 21, 2023 4:37 pm FB_IMG_1687361758278.jpg
Would you be prepared to say that to those who potentially are waiting to hear that their friends and family have died on that vessel?
I’m finding the Titan submarine story quite upsetting and whilst the timing of jokes could be better, I reserve the right to be offended.

If I don’t particularly care for the joke or find it funny (yet) then that’s just my tough shit
Top

Return to “GENERAL MAYHEM”