Jokes Thread

[Taipan]

I accept it may just be me that thinks so badly of dear Phil. So I decided to wear this T-shirt today to see what sort of reactions I get. So far I've been spat at, kicked and punched. Let's see what happens when I leave the house...

[Yorick]

I'm gonna let Penny take her test

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[Taipan]

[Yorick]

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[Yorick]

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[Taipan]

[Taipan]

[Treadeager]

Yeah , but if the tents had been gifted , would they be present tents ?

[Count Steer]

Not a joke but I had to laugh anyway. There's a feature in last week's FT 'How to Spend It' magazine (the fashion stuff is hilarious anyway) but there's a section on Jackie Stewart. The best book he's read recently? 'Winning is not enough'...it's his own autobiography.

Oh, and his home in Geneva 'overlooks Mont Blanc' - the air must be pretty thin up there.

Twit.

[ChrisW]

Twit.

I think you may have misspelled that.

[Horse]

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[Jody]

Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees

Because they are good at it

[Jody]

Why do elephants paints their testicles cherry red


so they can hide in cherry trees

[Jody]

What makes the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries

[Horse]

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[636mick]

I was born a male. I identify as a male. But according to Tesco's
sticky toffee pudding I'm a family of
four.

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

2 strokes Vs 4 strokes!

[Taipan]

[Trinity765]

My boss called me very angry and said "Where are you? I can't see you". I said "I'm here you just can't see me. I identify as transparent. My pronouns are who, what, where".

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I just found out that there's an actual clinical name for when you can't sleep at night so you eat instead. It's called insomnomnomnomnomia.