Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Taipan]

My throttle spacers turned up. Apparently, they are gummy bears for French Bulldogs!

[Count Steer]

Not boil, rather makes lukewarm but...when people say 'once in a generation' when they mean 'lifetime'. A generation is a mere 20-30 years but people use it like it's once in a blue moon. The media are frequent abusers.

Recent one was on here '...50 years, easily within a generation'.

[gremlin]

My step-dad. He's tighter than a fucking duck's arse, despite having a few quid tucked away.

My mum is 80. One of her pleasures in life is reading the Daily Mail, in order to find new sources of xenophobia and Tory adulation. My step-dad*, in his wisdom decided to stop getting it delivered and bought her a cheap tablet and subscribed to the Mail Online. She hates it as she struggles with the tablet, can't scribble notes for the crossword, etc.
I mean, FFS, you can't take it with you. Live a little, splash out, eh? Anyhow, I've sorted it so that her daily physical delivery of printed mentalness resumes.

Oh, and I also found out she's paying money into an ISA. I fucking ISA!!! She's got fuck all money and doesn't pay any tax anyway. And, if you can't afford a bloody daily paper, maybe now's the time to stop saving for that 'rainy day'.

*This is the step-dad that, with no shortage of smug pride, told me he was going to build a wheeled platform onto which he was going to man-handle a rotten, old wardrobe onto, so that he could move it around the spare bedroom whilst he was decorating.
'Oh, your keeping it?' I asked, somewhat surprised given it's state.
'No, I'm going to take it down the tip once I'm finished'

WTF... Don't. Just don't.

[Noggin]

I have one of those AppleTV blobs that you can 'send' info from a tablet to the the tv. It is pretty old.

But the last few months it just doesn't 'stream' (is that the right word?) onto the tv properly. Loads and loads of buffering. It seems to be the tablet that is buffering, but when I give up with the TV, everything plays just fine on the tablet


Spose I have to look for a newer version of the AppleTV blob now

[Noggin]

Looking at recipes for batter for fish. All the 'good' ones seem to involve beer. Not a problem for some, but I don't drink beer and have none here so I'll have to go and buy a can of beer - to use a smidge in the batter FFS!!

I have a rum based 'beer' (Cubanisto) but it doesn't exactly look like beer

[Mussels]

Looking at recipes for batter for fish. All the 'good' ones seem to involve beer. Not a problem for some, but I don't drink beer and have none here so I'll have to go and buy a can of beer - to use a smidge in the batter FFS!!

I have a rum based 'beer' (Cubanisto) but it doesn't exactly look like beer

Recipes generally bmp, they are all unnecessarily complicated with 20 ingredients that I don't have or recognise.
Kosher salt ffs, what benefit does being kosher bring to the meal?

[Horse]

Looking at recipes for batter for fish. All the 'good' ones seem to involve beer.

Is it to achieve flavour & lightness?

Could you substitute (e.g.) Marmite and fizzy water for the bubbles?

Caveat: I'm not a cook

[Noggin]

Looking at recipes for batter for fish. All the 'good' ones seem to involve beer. Not a problem for some, but I don't drink beer and have none here so I'll have to go and buy a can of beer - to use a smidge in the batter FFS!!

I have a rum based 'beer' (Cubanisto) but it doesn't exactly look like beer

Recipes generally bmp, they are all unnecessarily complicated with 20 ingredients that I don't have or recognise.
Kosher salt ffs, what benefit does being kosher bring to the meal?

Yup - I tend to read them and make them with stuff I actually have!!

Looking at recipes for batter for fish. All the 'good' ones seem to involve beer.

Is it to achieve flavour & lightness?

Could you substitute (e.g.) Marmite and fizzy water for the bubbles?

Caveat: I'm not a cook

No idea. I've never made batter for fish! I've had some success with batter for chicken balls (as in Chinese takeaway), so may well end up using that batter instead!! LOL

[Count Steer]

Looking at recipes for batter for fish. All the 'good' ones seem to involve beer. Not a problem for some, but I don't drink beer and have none here so I'll have to go and buy a can of beer - to use a smidge in the batter FFS!!

I have a rum based 'beer' (Cubanisto) but it doesn't exactly look like beer

Recipes generally bmp, they are all unnecessarily complicated with 20 ingredients that I don't have or recognise.
Kosher salt ffs, what benefit does being kosher bring to the meal?

I think it's really just what the Merkins call rock salt and is non-iodised, so you were probably looking at a Merkin recipe. TBH there's a lot of guff about salt, but, having said that I used Maldon and pink Himalayan.

PS the thing about 'kosher' is somebody gets a cut of the £s for declaring it to be so. Kerrching!

[Yambo]

Recipes generally bmp, they are all unnecessarily complicated with 20 ingredients that I don't have or recognise.
Kosher salt ffs, what benefit does being kosher bring to the meal?

This.

I have a Delia Smith cookbook in the 3rd drawer of my kitchen units. People are very quick to point out (and I'm pretty sure that there's a few posters on here who will not now post or will be just a tad condescending) that Delia is a bit old hat. I don't give a shit. Delia has taught me how to cook - the basics - 13 pages on eggs for example.

I don't need or want fancy recipes but I do need to know how to do the basic stuff. If I get that off pat then I can mess around a bit but only if I feel the need. The inimatable Go_Slow produced a basic curry sauce for the masses. I'm sure it was wonderful but wtf is fenugreek and wtf is it in Turkish? And is it available? Sorry Go_Slow, love ya to bits mate but wtf is fenugreek?

I fucking hate cooking. Don't get me wrong, I love to eat but fuck, get all the ingredients, mess around with them, cook it, eat it, do the dishes and spend the next half hour thinking "what the fuck was that all about?"

[Count Steer]

Recipes generally bmp, they are all unnecessarily complicated with 20 ingredients that I don't have or recognise.
Kosher salt ffs, what benefit does being kosher bring to the meal?

This.

I have a Delia Smith cookbook in the 3rd drawer of my kitchen units. People are very quick to point out (and I'm pretty sure that there's a few posters on here who will not now post or will be just a tad condescending) that Delia is a bit old hat. I don't give a shit. Delia has taught me how to cook - the basics - 13 pages on eggs for example.

I don't need or want fancy recipes but I do need to know how to do the basic stuff. If I get that off pat then I can mess around a bit but only if I feel the need. The inimatable Go_Slow produced a basic curry sauce for the masses. I'm sure it was wonderful but wtf is fenugreek and wtf is it in Turkish? And is it available? Sorry Go_Slow, love ya to bits mate but wtf is fenugreek?

It's çemen otu Anything with a slight aniseed taste will do - chuck some raki in.

Nowt wrong with St Delia. Same with Jamie Oliver. I think of them both as 'cooks' rather than chefs and if 'scran' is what you're after they're both

Mind ewe. I learned to cook from a Marguerite Patten book and that's going back some. Quite funny browsing through the book now.

[Yambo]

chuck some rakı in.

Fixed that for you!

[v8-powered]

I have a Delia Smith cookbook in the 3rd drawer of my kitchen units....

Delia's paella is the best

[Count Steer]

Just cooked a Jamie Oliver standard...tray baked salmon. Pre-boiled spuds and green beans, a tray of baby toms, some basil leaves and a few Kalamata olives, 2 pieces of salmon and a strewing of anchovies. 10 minutes in a 220° fan oven. Bish bash bosh.

[ChrisW]

Just cooked a Jamie Oliver standard

How does he come out if you cook him on high?

[Mussels]

The state of UK roads is an outrage, I'm constantly dodging potholes.
And the roadworks take the piss, half the M6 is down to 50mph and nothing is getting done.

Ah, he's properly settled back into UK life.

[Greenman]

The state of UK roads is an outrage, I'm constantly dodging potholes.
And the roadworks take the piss, half the M6 is down to 50mph and nothing is getting done.

Tell me about it.

I'm pretty sure most people think i've had 10 pints when following me as i have to dodge so any craters, they have progressed from potholes now as some of them are about a foot deep!

I do wonder why i even bother paying my road tax anymore!

[Mussels]

There's a couple of cracking potholes on the main road into town, opposite sides and a few metres apart so they create a chicane. There are helpful cones sticking out of them but they get knocked out occasionally so now there's a nice assortment of broken off car bits up there as well.
I get that councils have less money to fix roads since covid started but it seems odd that roads are so bad in all of them, almost like they got together and decided to make a point.

[weeksy]

There's a couple of cracking potholes on the main road into town, opposite sides and a few metres apart so they create a chicane. There are helpful cones sticking out of them but they get knocked out occasionally so now there's a nice assortment of broken off car bits up there as well.
I get that councils have less money to fix roads since covid started but it seems odd that roads are so bad in all of them, almost like they got together and decided to make a point.

There's was a post here/somewhere recently about the number of billions it would take to repair them and the timescales... lets just say, it wasn't likely to happen.

[Count Steer]

I thought about getting a load of little signs made up that said 'First World Council Tax, Third World Roads' and putting them by the worst bits of road. Never did it though.