When does 'bants' become 'bullying'?

[DefTrap]

A colleague of mine has a "strong personality" and was prepared to use it at work, without pulling any punches. Firm but honest. The more sensitive types just could not get this and would then just complain to HR. Every now and again HR would call m'colleague in and ask her if she would mind awfully just not telling her co-workers how terrible they were.

It's not bullying if it's true

[Noggin]

A colleague of mine has a "strong personality" and was prepared to use it at work, without pulling any punches. Firm but honest. The more sensitive types just could not get this and would then just complain to HR. Every now and again HR would call m'colleague in and ask her if she would mind awfully just not telling her co-workers how terrible they were.

It's not bullying if it's true

There is definitely a balance to be understood. I don't mind people being dead straight to/at me if it's justified!! And if I can't see the justification, then explain it to me calmly so I can!!!

[Horse]

A colleague of mine has a "strong personality" and was prepared to use it at work, without pulling any punches. Firm but honest. The more sensitive types just could not get this and would then just complain to HR.

It's not bullying if it's true

AAMOI, does she (or their managers, anyone) ever do anything to encourage those staff?

It's a bit like a coach continually being firm but honest with an athlete:
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
Not really going to achieve much improvement.

And is your colleague perfect herself? Does she listen to, accept, consider and respond to constructive comment?

[DefTrap]

AAMOI, does she (or their managers, anyone) ever do anything to encourage those staff?

It's a bit like a coach continually being firm but honest with an athlete:
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
"You're not fast enough"
Not really going to achieve much improvement.

And is your colleague perfect herself? Does she listen to, accept, consider and respond to constructive comment?

Did a fair chunk of various staff trainings, as it happens. A lot of the people she was most fiercely critical of weren't really in her lm path or were senior, there's not a great deal to 'encourage' in those cases.

Annoyingly she was also one of the most able and versatile people I've ever worked with. You don't go to work to be liked, you need a thick skin yourself to be able to give honest feedback and resist the backlash of those who just won't be criticised.

[Horse]

you need a thick skin yourself to be able to give honest feedback and resist the backlash of those who just won't be criticised.

If it's bullying then there may not be 'backlash'. (I'm not saying that it was in the situation you have described)

And it's a fairly common reaction to push back against criticism. Does anyone like being criticised? First thing that will happen is that mental shutters go up, then listening stops.



Obviously I don't know the person/people involved, but perhaps the way expectations were set on the work could have been improved?

If she continually had to make the same complaints, it obviously wasn't getting through to the other staff, so she was wasting her own time.

Rightly or wrongly, the feeling could have been "She's only going to complain anyway, so ... "