Jokes Thread

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Count Steer
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Count Steer »

They've released a new version of Monopoly. It's called 'Bonopoly' - 'cos the streets have no names.

Oh, and wrt the bad taste jokes, apparently this one won a prize:

I keep shouting 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' at people. I think I've got florets....

Then people started complaining about it.
Doubt is not a pleasant condition.
But certainty is an absurd one
.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by 636mick »

Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by 636mick »

finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by 636mick »

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

My mate has a bad stutter. By the time he told us his Nana had died we were all singing "Hey Jude"!
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

He probably likes a swim in the pool and cheap beer.....
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

For dinner I had a lovely pork wellington with pomme frites and a tomato reduction...
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Best advert ever... :lol:

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

Not me.
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

@636mick One of yours?

National Highways identified a cluster of about 200 dead crows along a short stretch of the M1.

There was concern for Avian Flu. They contracted a Bird Pathologist to examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.

However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with HGVs, and only 2% were killed by cars.

They then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for HGV versus car kill. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah!", but he could not say "Lorry!"
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

LOLZ!
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Re: Jokes Thread

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