Dunblane is a day I remember so well, our school was immediately locked down and we were kept there for hours. He used to shoot at the local rifle club and Dunblane was so close.darthpunk wrote: ↑Fri Feb 17, 2023 2:06 pmI looked in to it, but to be honest after the furore the last time with the ban and losing a crap load of money and time I invested in it, I just don't have the heart to get involved again. Also, I took a lot of shit for having partaken in the sport after Dunblane. Plus, the hoops you have to jump through now, and as ridiculous as it sounds, the restrictions on calibre and the pathetic attempts to get round restrictions with long barrelled pistols and AR-15 style 22 rifles just seems a bit much. It's like the government telling all bikers they could only ride 250 Honda Superdreams with a sidecar. I think the ship has sailed and I just need to fire myself back up again with something that I do actually feel passionate about.Noggin wrote: ↑Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:05 pm Is there any chance you can go again? I know that the last few years have been more difficult because I couldn't ride bikes and couldn't ski much and when I did I was always wary. Makes so much difference to be able to do something you are passionate about (or completely invested in) even if you don't do it every day. Might be worth trying?
I say that bikes don't get me fired up like I seem to think anymore, but every time I get that smell that only a bike engine seems to have, or the sound when one flies past It takes me right back to being a kid on the back of my dad's or uncles bikes
It does seem weirdly pathetic that the whole thing that gets me down most is not having a hobby to be passionate about
Depression
- wull
- Posts: 3006
- Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2021 6:09 pm
- Location: Alloa
- Has thanked: 870 times
- Been thanked: 1495 times
Re: Depression
-
- Posts: 86
- Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2020 2:43 pm
- Location: Scotchland
- Has thanked: 2 times
- Been thanked: 67 times
Re: Depression
Had a chat with the missus yesterday, she thinks my depression isn't what it was and I'm probably in more of a midlife crisis than anything. The Lightweight Adventurers Podcast covered this and the symptoms they mentioned marry up quite nicely.
Not to say I didn't have, maybe still have, depression. Very long store extremely short, Mother was an arse, bit of a narcissist, caused holy hell in life and marriage between me and the missus. We've moved on from her drama and my wife flung her out of the house one day when she was being an arse and she's not been a problem much since.
Hangover from all that is I became a hermit, lost joy in life, work etc to the point where confidence hit an all time low. Add in previous money worries that are long behind me and I don't do anything or am willing to spend money without fretting about it.
Anyway, off on a ramble again, as usual my other half talks the most amount of sense in the house again so I'll try and get back to moaning about the state of custom bikes and drooling over second hand 70's hondas and Gibson guitars again. I need to stop over analysing the past so much and look for new things rather than going over and over past glory's
- Don't know who they are anymore
- Stuck in a rut
- Begin to regret the path they didn't take
- Feel that time is runnin out
- Suffer mood swings
- Feel apathetic, "Down in the dumps" or actively depressed
- Think about death or dying more
Not to say I didn't have, maybe still have, depression. Very long store extremely short, Mother was an arse, bit of a narcissist, caused holy hell in life and marriage between me and the missus. We've moved on from her drama and my wife flung her out of the house one day when she was being an arse and she's not been a problem much since.
Hangover from all that is I became a hermit, lost joy in life, work etc to the point where confidence hit an all time low. Add in previous money worries that are long behind me and I don't do anything or am willing to spend money without fretting about it.
Anyway, off on a ramble again, as usual my other half talks the most amount of sense in the house again so I'll try and get back to moaning about the state of custom bikes and drooling over second hand 70's hondas and Gibson guitars again. I need to stop over analysing the past so much and look for new things rather than going over and over past glory's
- Cousin Jack
- Posts: 4283
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 4:36 pm
- Location: Down in the Duchy
- Has thanked: 2560 times
- Been thanked: 2182 times
Re: Depression
Bloody hell - that list covers most of us over about 50!
Don't beat yourself up about it, we all think about "the path we didn't take". However be aware you can only see the start of that path, if you had taken it it might have ended somewhere dark and nasty, far worse that the here and now.
Time IS running out! So enjoy the time you have left, you can do bog-all about the past.
Think about death or dying? Yep, when I was a teenager I was immortal, in my 70s death is getting uncomfortably close, so best stop worrying and enjoy the life that is left
Cornish Tart #1
Remember An Gof!
Remember An Gof!
- Noggin
- Posts: 7676
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
- Location: Ski Resort
- Has thanked: 16251 times
- Been thanked: 3745 times
Re: Depression
TBF, and I know I do bang on about menopause a smidge (!!), men also lose hormones which starts probably at a similar age to women, so anytime from 35 onwards. Some start earlier and some start later. Some have symptoms and some don't. Exactly the same as women. I've not done any research into is and I don't have a man and I have kinda concentrated on the Menopause because I wanted to quit life because of the way it made me feel. Lack of hormones does cause massive mental changes in some - not all. It's finding out the one that is causing the issues and replace it. Or something like thatCousin Jack wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2023 7:44 pmBloody hell - that list covers most of us over about 50!
Don't beat yourself up about it, we all think about "the path we didn't take". However be aware you can only see the start of that path, if you had taken it it might have ended somewhere dark and nasty, far worse that the here and now.
Time IS running out! So enjoy the time you have left, you can do bog-all about the past.
Think about death or dying? Yep, when I was a teenager I was immortal, in my 70s death is getting uncomfortably close, so best stop worrying and enjoy the life that is left
I'll try and find the reference to it that I saw last year as there will probably have been more info on it now - and if a hormone replacement helps, that could be awesome.
For me, I still know I have depression. But it's back to being manageable now
As for different paths. I've always been incredibly sad (not depressed, regretful) that I've never married and had kids. Was all I wanted to do in life (more the have kids thing!). Equally, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't live where I do if I'd had kids. And I am auntie to my mates kids which makes me happy - can be much more of a poor influence when and auntie!!
If you can learn to love where you are in life, the depression can become much more managable, IME - totally non scientific but it has worked for me
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!!
- ZRX61
- Posts: 4847
- Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:05 pm
- Location: Solar Blight Valley
- Has thanked: 1446 times
- Been thanked: 1329 times
Re: Depression
Just wait until you hit your 60's & throw some PTSD into the mix.Cousin Jack wrote: ↑Mon Feb 20, 2023 7:44 pm
Bloody hell - that list covers most of us over about 50!
Don't beat yourself up about it, we all think about "the path we didn't take". However be aware you can only see the start of that path, if you had taken it it might have ended somewhere dark and nasty, far worse that the here and now.
Time IS running out! So enjoy the time you have left, you can do bog-all about the past.
Think about death or dying? Yep, when I was a teenager I was immortal, in my 70s death is getting uncomfortably close, so best stop worrying and enjoy the life that is left
- Noggin
- Posts: 7676
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
- Location: Ski Resort
- Has thanked: 16251 times
- Been thanked: 3745 times
Re: Depression
I forgot to post - I couldn't find the article I read about this ages ago, but this sightly not medical looking page has some info -
https://www.familiprix.com/en/articles/andropause
Or the NHS stuff -
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/male-menopause/
TBF, I suspect most men have some sort of symptoms and just get on with it (as have most women with menopause over the years)> One of the side benefits of all the publicity about menopause and getting medical people to appreciate the symptoms and solutions is that the male menopause is being mentioned a bit more (quietly at the mo)
But, it could be something worth looking at?? Maybe??
I do have a mate that was recently prescribed testosterone gel - I can't remember why exactly, a medical condition that was a bit complicated for the amount of rum I'd had that night!! But, he did comment to me that it hadn't just had an affect on that condition, but on his mental health, mood and general zest for life! So, worth a bit of reading for some, maybe??
https://www.familiprix.com/en/articles/andropause
Or the NHS stuff -
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/male-menopause/
TBF, I suspect most men have some sort of symptoms and just get on with it (as have most women with menopause over the years)> One of the side benefits of all the publicity about menopause and getting medical people to appreciate the symptoms and solutions is that the male menopause is being mentioned a bit more (quietly at the mo)
But, it could be something worth looking at?? Maybe??
I do have a mate that was recently prescribed testosterone gel - I can't remember why exactly, a medical condition that was a bit complicated for the amount of rum I'd had that night!! But, he did comment to me that it hadn't just had an affect on that condition, but on his mental health, mood and general zest for life! So, worth a bit of reading for some, maybe??
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!!
- Cousin Jack
- Posts: 4283
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 4:36 pm
- Location: Down in the Duchy
- Has thanked: 2560 times
- Been thanked: 2182 times
Re: Depression
I would love to wait to hit my 60s, but that ship has sailed. My next stop is my 80s.
Cornish Tart #1
Remember An Gof!
Remember An Gof!
- Yorick
- Posts: 16278
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
- Location: Paradise
- Has thanked: 10113 times
- Been thanked: 6649 times
Re: Depression
A couple of hours ago I set off walking to the high cliffs a mile out of town.
I found somewhere safe to leave my dog and sent a Whatsapp messages to my enduro pals group showing his location so they'd find him.
I walked about 200 yards and sat looking over the edge.
It was an out of body experience. Impossible to describe. Calm and scary.
Luckily (unluckily) my pal was close. He knew the area. Found my dog and guessed where I'd be.
Then I broke down and let it all out.
Talked for ages.
Just wanted "normal " so having a beer in the evening sun now in town.
Folk nodding and saying Hi.
If only they knew.
I feel calm. Maybe just getting right to the edge is a good thing?
Dunno why I took a photo. It was peaceful.
I found somewhere safe to leave my dog and sent a Whatsapp messages to my enduro pals group showing his location so they'd find him.
I walked about 200 yards and sat looking over the edge.
It was an out of body experience. Impossible to describe. Calm and scary.
Luckily (unluckily) my pal was close. He knew the area. Found my dog and guessed where I'd be.
Then I broke down and let it all out.
Talked for ages.
Just wanted "normal " so having a beer in the evening sun now in town.
Folk nodding and saying Hi.
If only they knew.
I feel calm. Maybe just getting right to the edge is a good thing?
Dunno why I took a photo. It was peaceful.
-
- Posts: 844
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:00 pm
- Location: East of West
- Has thanked: 682 times
- Been thanked: 642 times
Re: Depression
Whilst I don't 'know' you, I'm so glad you didn't and your mate found you.Yorick wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:53 pm A couple of hours ago I set off walking to the high cliffs a mile out of town.
I found somewhere safe to leave my dog and sent a Whatsapp messages to my enduro pals group showing his location so they'd find him.
I walked about 200 yards and sat looking over the edge.
It was an out of body experience. Impossible to describe. Calm and scary.
Luckily (unluckily) my pal was close. He knew the area. Found my dog and guessed where I'd be.
Then I broke down and let it all out.
Talked for ages.
Just wanted "normal " so having a beer in the evening sun now in town.
Folk nodding and saying Hi.
If only they knew.
I feel calm. Maybe just getting right to the edge is a good thing?
Dunno why I took a photo. It was peaceful.
20230301_172514.jpg
Close to the edge indeed......
- Taipan
- Posts: 13252
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 15601 times
- Been thanked: 9847 times
Re: Depression
Dont really know what to say to that Yoz. But I know you know how devastating death is for those left behind. Life really is so precious. You did the right thing in talking to your mates, but maybe get some professional help too?
- Noggin
- Posts: 7676
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:46 pm
- Location: Ski Resort
- Has thanked: 16251 times
- Been thanked: 3745 times
Re: Depression
What they've said. Glad you didn't.
Life's tough sometimes and it's hard to find people that you can talk to. Hugs
xxx
Life's tough sometimes and it's hard to find people that you can talk to. Hugs
xxx
This really is the only reason I'm still here and would never choose to go by my hand. Tough call but it's meant that I've survived until better times.know how devastating death is for those left behind
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!!
- Rockburner
- Posts: 4197
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:06 am
- Location: Hiding in your blind spot
- Has thanked: 7726 times
- Been thanked: 2401 times
Re: Depression
Yorick wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:53 pm A couple of hours ago I set off walking to the high cliffs a mile out of town.
I found somewhere safe to leave my dog and sent a Whatsapp messages to my enduro pals group showing his location so they'd find him.
I walked about 200 yards and sat looking over the edge.
It was an out of body experience. Impossible to describe. Calm and scary.
Luckily (unluckily) my pal was close. He knew the area. Found my dog and guessed where I'd be.
Then I broke down and let it all out.
Talked for ages.
Just wanted "normal " so having a beer in the evening sun now in town.
Folk nodding and saying Hi.
If only they knew.
I feel calm. Maybe just getting right to the edge is a good thing?
Dunno why I took a photo. It was peaceful.
20230301_172514.jpg
I know you think I'm a cunt, but I'm dumbfounded by this.
I am really very glad that you didn't decide to go through with it, and that your mate was close and came to be there with you.
I have huge respect for you for being able to open up and talk to him. It's not an easy thing to do, but you did it and you're still here.
I am very glad you're still with us, and I hope that you feel like the lid doesn't have to be strapped down tight permanently.
non quod, sed quomodo
-
- Posts: 1074
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 9:28 pm
- Has thanked: 600 times
- Been thanked: 390 times
- Skub
- Posts: 11860
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 5:32 pm
- Location: Norn Iron
- Has thanked: 9677 times
- Been thanked: 9700 times
Re: Depression
Bloody hell man.Yorick wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:53 pm A couple of hours ago I set off walking to the high cliffs a mile out of town.
I found somewhere safe to leave my dog and sent a Whatsapp messages to my enduro pals group showing his location so they'd find him.
I walked about 200 yards and sat looking over the edge.
It was an out of body experience. Impossible to describe. Calm and scary.
Luckily (unluckily) my pal was close. He knew the area. Found my dog and guessed where I'd be.
Then I broke down and let it all out.
Talked for ages.
Just wanted "normal " so having a beer in the evening sun now in town.
Folk nodding and saying Hi.
If only they knew.
I feel calm. Maybe just getting right to the edge is a good thing?
Dunno why I took a photo. It was peaceful.
20230301_172514.jpg
As Tiepin says,I hope you talk to someone in a professional capacity.
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
- mangocrazy
- Posts: 6477
- Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:58 pm
- Has thanked: 2318 times
- Been thanked: 3373 times
Re: Depression
I'm very glad you didn't do it mate, and glad you had someone you could talk to at a crucial time. And it was brave fronting up about it to a bunch of what are effectively semi-strangers. Now you need to take the next step and talk to the experts. We're with you.
There is no cloud, just somebody else's computer.
- Cousin Jack
- Posts: 4283
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 4:36 pm
- Location: Down in the Duchy
- Has thanked: 2560 times
- Been thanked: 2182 times
Re: Depression
Bloody hell! I am glad you didn't jump! Just remember that there are a lot of rufty tufty bikers that would be in tears if you did anything like that, not too mention your missus and the dog.
I have never really met you, we might have met at a VD Memorial Meet, or maybe not, but I consider you a friend, albeit a virtual one. We both lived in MK at one stage, you a track instructor and me a wobbly born-again with 38 years of rust on my very limited experience. I always remember you offered to take me out with you, which was very kind of you. I declined because I was ashamed of how slow and wobbly I was, I often wish I hadn't.
Anyway as a virtual friend, anything I can do to help, just ask. You have done the hard bit, reaching out and admitting you are not feeling good, now let us all help. And do try to get some professional help too.
I have never really met you, we might have met at a VD Memorial Meet, or maybe not, but I consider you a friend, albeit a virtual one. We both lived in MK at one stage, you a track instructor and me a wobbly born-again with 38 years of rust on my very limited experience. I always remember you offered to take me out with you, which was very kind of you. I declined because I was ashamed of how slow and wobbly I was, I often wish I hadn't.
Anyway as a virtual friend, anything I can do to help, just ask. You have done the hard bit, reaching out and admitting you are not feeling good, now let us all help. And do try to get some professional help too.
Cornish Tart #1
Remember An Gof!
Remember An Gof!
-
- Posts: 1740
- Joined: Fri May 01, 2020 10:05 pm
- Has thanked: 233 times
- Been thanked: 403 times
Re: Depression
Maybe instead of wanting to get away from the world your non actions subconsciously want you to be back in the place our race was born which means you just need to be loved. Maybe you should try and be around more people...Yorick wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:53 pm A couple of hours ago I set off walking to the high cliffs a mile out of town.
I found somewhere safe to leave my dog and sent a Whatsapp messages to my enduro pals group showing his location so they'd find him.
I walked about 200 yards and sat looking over the edge.
It was an out of body experience. Impossible to describe. Calm and scary.
Luckily (unluckily) my pal was close. He knew the area. Found my dog and guessed where I'd be.
Then I broke down and let it all out.
Talked for ages.
Just wanted "normal " so having a beer in the evening sun now in town.
Folk nodding and saying Hi.
If only they knew.
I feel calm. Maybe just getting right to the edge is a good thing?
Dunno why I took a photo. It was peaceful.
20230301_172514.jpg
Peace and love always.
-
- Posts: 866
- Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2020 7:14 pm
- Location: West of the Tamar
- Has thanked: 225 times
- Been thanked: 558 times
Re: Depression
I didn't reply yesterday because I didn't know what to say apart from the obvious "really glad you didn't". Don't really have anything helpful to add today, except that you've made a start already by talking to yourself about it which is a really important first step, and then to your pal and on here. Keep that bit up but I think you need to ask for some "proper" help in addition to the well-intentioned amateurs like us on here. We're here for you, tho.....
- Potter
- Posts: 9661
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:32 pm
- Has thanked: 2216 times
- Been thanked: 4610 times
Re: Depression
Spare bedroom here Yorick, welcome any time if you just need a few days in a different place chatting about bikes and shit.
- Skub
- Posts: 11860
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 5:32 pm
- Location: Norn Iron
- Has thanked: 9677 times
- Been thanked: 9700 times
Re: Depression
He knows you still have the hat.
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955