Jokes Thread

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Yorick
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by David »

How long before someone demands a DNA test?
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

And the hits just keep coming!

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Actual tapestry.

Fact.


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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Taipan wrote: Sun Jan 08, 2023 12:13 pm Image
This might have been posted before.


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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

So my neighbour comes around this morning, knowing my wife is out. Wearing a low cut negligee, nearly everything on display, asks me in a husky voice, 'can I come in for a coffee' then a suggestive wink!
And I said 'fuck off Dave, I've told you before!'
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by David »

i felt quite rejected.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

It made me almost break a smile.
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

I bet Penny Lancaster likes a bit of afternoon tea ;)
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by ZRX61 »

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who demanded an inspection of their home. The farmer desperately wanted to win over his mother-in-law, so he was determined that the visit would be a friendly one.

Sadly, the visit went poorly from the start, as the mother-in-law nagged him, demanded he make changes, and offered unwanted advice. Then, as they were walking through the barn for the forced inspection, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. Though the farmer was not fond of his mother-in-law, this was still a huge shock for him to witness.

During the funeral a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted mourners as they walked by. The pastor saw that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. However, whenever a man would walk by and whisper something, the farmer would shake his head no, and mumble a reply. Curious about what was going on, the preacher later asked the farmer about this.

“The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would then ask, ‘Can I borrow that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year,’” the farmer replied.
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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

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