What would win your vote?

[Count Steer]

Putting aside the people that 'get something for nothing' there are others that seem to think me and other taxpayers should fund their inheritance eg Old Bert has £300k in the bank and a £600k house and his offspring don't want him to have to spend any of it on care* because it's 'their' inheritance. So they want me to pay for it so they don't lose out. They could cut out the middle-man and I'll send them the cash directly.


* They'd be apoplectic if he decided he wanted to move into a slightly upmarket care home at £1k+/week!

[wheelnut]

Doesn’t Scotland give care home provision without clawing back the cost from the service user?

[Ant]

Doesn’t Scotland give care home provision without clawing back the cost from the service user?

Probably. England will pay for it like England does with everything else.

[Ant]

Putting aside the people that 'get something for nothing' there are others that seem to think me and other taxpayers should fund their inheritance eg Old Bert has £300k in the bank and a £600k house and his offspring don't want him to have to spend any of it on care* because it's 'their' inheritance. So they want me to pay for it so they don't lose out. They could cut out the middle-man and I'll send them the cash directly.


* They'd be apoplectic if he decided he wanted to move into a slightly upmarket care home at £1k+/week!

How would a tax payer fund an inheritance when said inheritance is a private estate already paid for by said private family?

[Yambo]

Exactly that, where was the choice for her to hand anything down? Inheritance or death and misery for your sons and daughters? what do you want to do?

All i'm saying is that she had lived through 2 world wars raised 3 kids and she has to pay for her care (my inheritance) but someone on the dole who has done fuck all can get it for nothing!

Your a sad fuck sometimes Greenman.

Your grandmother ended up in a home because her children and grandchildren wanted rid of her, didn't want to be burdened by an old lady that needed looking after, as it would cost time, effort and money.

The simple reality is though, that all her family got out of it was the time and lack of effort. Her kids did pay for her care with the money they thought they'd get when she died alone and unwanted.


A few years ago I was talking with some Turkish friends about the differences in our respective cultures. I mentioned that I didn't want to be a burden on my family, preferring them to get on with their lives (your grandma may have had the same attitude of course) and that if I ended needing help to look after myself I would apply for a place in the Royal Hospital Chelsea and be a Chelsea Pensioner.

"Why would you want to do that?" my friends asked. "Your life is here and we'd look after you. At the worst you could simply employ one of the local ladies to be your housekeeper/carer. It would be cheap and you could stay here with your friends."

They were serious, the culture here is that families look after their old folk when they can't look after themselves. It has a lot of merit.

[Mussels]

The government can shoulder a lot of blame for people not looking after elderly parents themselves, they created an environment where most women have to work. They are taught to farm kids out to childcare and parents out to care homes.
They made life revolve around paid services instead of family.

[cheb]

Some of are very happy that women can and do go out to work.

[Pirahna]

Caring for an elderly person can be a soul destroying thing. It's knackering, you're often not able to leave them alone, and if they're bedridden you're fucked. Lifting them in and out of bed, wheelchair, the commode and fuck knows what else. I did it for a few months last year when mum was dying from bowl cancer. The old man did what he could but his knee was so fucked he could barely stand. We had a lot of help from the health people to keep her at home but it was Ireland where the help is available, good luck trying to cope in the UK. My sister came over to help when she could get time off work which meant I could escape for a few days. We had home help for an hour in the morning and again in the evening so I was able to go shopping or out for some exercise.

Mums sister (who lived next door, it's Ireland) was taken in by her brother (who lives next door) when she became unable to look after herself. As her dememtia progressed they were left with no choice other than to move her to a care home, they couldn't cope. I've a few stories like this, but anyone suggesting that the family rather a care home should be responsible for the elderly clearly has fuck all experience of being at the pointy end of this.

[Mussels]

Caring for an elderly person can be a soul destroying thing. It's knackering, you're often not able to leave them alone, and if they're bedridden you're fucked. Lifting them in and out of bed, wheelchair, the commode and fuck knows what else. I did it for a few months last year when mum was dying from bowl cancer. The old man did what he could but his knee was so fucked he could barely stand. We had a lot of help from the health people to keep her at home but it was Ireland where the help is available, good luck trying to cope in the UK. My sister came over to help when she could get time off work which meant I could escape for a few days. We had home help for an hour in the morning and again in the evening so I was able to go shopping or out for some exercise.

Mums sister (who lived next door, it's Ireland) was taken in by her brother (who lives next door) when she became unable to look after herself. As her dememtia progressed they were left with no choice other than to move her to a care home, they couldn't cope. I've a few stories like this, but anyone suggesting that the family rather a care home should be responsible for the elderly clearly has fuck all experience of being at the pointy end of this.

Palliative care is rather different and is free in the UK as long as you don't take longer than 6 months to die.
My wife did similar to you for her mum until it became too much for her and her dad to do on their own, that's when the palliative care kicked in.

[Mussels]

Some of are very happy that women can and do go out to work.

Maybe having the choice would have been enough instead of making it almost compulsory.

[irie]

Some of are very happy that women can and do go out to work.

Maybe having the choice would have been enough instead of making it almost compulsory.

It is not "almost compulsory".

The basic choice is between being a "working mother" with higher gross household income and being a "homemaker mother" with lower household income.

[cheb]

Some of are very happy that women can and do go out to work.

Maybe having the choice would have been enough instead of making it almost compulsory.

Sorry, that was meant to be read in a deadpan 'Take my wife, please' style.

I occasionally wonder what the world might be like if we hadn't spent the last 2,500 or so years wasting half of humankinds brains. I know anecdotes are not data but there's a lot of young parents up here who both work part time, they seem to be getting the work/life balance to suit what they want. I can't comment on other areas, maybe it's just here.

[cheb]

Homemaker father is also an option, but usually only taken by weirdos and outcast freaks.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Homemaker father is also an option, but usually only taken by weirdos and outcast freaks.

My Mum earned more than my Dad for pretty much their entire working lives AFAIK, if I recall correctly my Mum was also my Dad's indirect boss at one point - or at least, she was senior to him in the company hierarchy.

She still did all the stereotypical home maker stuff though. Make of that what you will.

[wheelnut]

Having said that, I totally get what Yambo is saying. I told my kids that if I ever get into a situation where I can't look after myself and they don't smother me with a pillow then I'll come back and haunt them. I don't want a penny of their time (or my money) being used to keep me as a pet vegetable.

From time to time I have to go into care homes for work and what depressing places they are. There is no way I’ll ever go in one, I’ll throw (or wheel) myself off a cliff first.

I’m not sure where they’ve all sprang up from in recent years. It seems there’s a huge one sprouting on every corner as soon as your back is turned.

They weren’t there when I was a kid. What’s changed? People are living longer with no quality of life? A massive rise in dementia? A reluctance to care for the elderly within the family unit?

[Mr. Dazzle]

People used to die I guess. Jolly rude of em not too.

[Felix]

They keep trying to find cures for shit.