Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Count Steer]

That's just what the tell the tooleygoons when they don't want them on the premises.

Everyone knows tooleygoons hate paperwork. They want no paperwork, pound notes in their hand, to knock off at three and get to a chain pub where they can neck Stella and watch sports on the big screen.

Any mention of additional paperwork requirements will have them scurrying back to their mock Tudor new builds.

It might be resent, my Chelsea Tractor, fifty grand watch and fifteen hundred quid Burberry jumper threw her into such a tizz of resentful angst that she wanted to obstruct me as much as possible, she probably went out straight afterwards to vandalise a statue and complain to her ghastly friends about how rich people don't pay any tax, melt polar ice caps and eat all the best food.

I've seen that sort of stuff make good people turn bad

Have their pullovers doubled in price since you bought two or is that the logo tax?

[Potter]

Have their pullovers doubled in price since you bought two or is that the logo tax?

I had a limited edition one on, I only wear the standard ones for work.

[Jody]

A few weeks ago when I arrived on this site I was socialising with my Dutch friend and he gave me his cold/ cough. It's a nasty little fekker encouraging me to have 2 days off and I still have the remnants of the cold now. (I did 3 tests, not covid)

That's not what's boiling my piss....

Another colleague here also caught Marco's lurgy and has suffered the same symptoms.
I took her round what was left of my cough mixture, a packet of strepsils and some vitamin C tabs.
3 days later I took back my things as she hadn't touched them!!.

That was over a week ago and this morning she's complaining to me about her cough is still so bad that she's insisting on seeing a doctor.

I didn't completely lose my shit with her but I did point out that whinging about having a cough while taking drags on your rollie means you get fuck all sympathy from me. I didn't mention that she's been staying up late drinking most nights too.

Further to this, this particular colleague doesn't have much money, it seems like her brother and mother both take advantage of her and she lets them. That's her choice for sure, but her now wanting to see (and pay for) a doctor (that she doesn't need) in addition to not using the free medicine I gave her eludes to why she's skint all the time.

I'm fairly sure if I point all this out to her I'll be getting told off for it shortly after !

[Potter]

I'd just shag her and move on.

[Asian Boss]

That's just what the tell the tooleygoons when they don't want them on the premises.

Everyone knows tooleygoons hate paperwork. They want no paperwork, pound notes in their hand, to knock off at three and get to a chain pub where they can neck Stella and watch sports on the big screen.

Any mention of additional paperwork requirements will have them scurrying back to their mock Tudor new builds.

It might be resent, my Chelsea Tractor, fifty grand watch and fifteen hundred quid Burberry jumper threw her into such a tizz of resentful angst that she wanted to obstruct me as much as possible, she probably went out straight afterwards to vandalise a statue and complain to her ghastly friends about how rich people don't pay any tax, melt polar ice caps and eat all the best food.

I've seen that sort of stuff make good people turn bad

Advertising the 'goonery so; you're practically asking to be excluded.

[Potter]

Advertising the 'goonery so; you're practically asking to be excluded.

Ah well, we can console one another in here, I'm excluded because I have the money and they don't like it, whereas you're just excluded because you don't have the money.
Solidarity brother

[Asian Boss]

Advertising the 'goonery so; you're practically asking to be excluded.

Ah well, we can console one another in here, I'm excluded because I have the money and they don't like it, whereas you're just excluded because you don't have the money.
Solidarity brother

Not so. I'm currently looking at a six bedroom Victorian farmhouse well above the threshold you mention. No exclusion.

I didn't turn up in Karl Lagerfeld tracksuit bottoms though.

[Potter]

Not so. I'm currently looking at a six bedroom Victorian farmhouse well above the threshold you mention. No exclusion.

I didn't turn up in Karl Lagerfeld tracksuit bottoms though.

Did you have to show bank statements to be able to view?

Funnily enough they came back to me last night and said that after considering it for a few days they were willing to make an exception in this case and we can go to view.
My wife said tell them to stick it up their arse, but I told her not to be so hasty, I've arranged for my PA to call them on Monday and ask a lot of detailed questions, find out when they are willing to move out (and whatever they say to push them for an earlier date) then set up a viewing for Tuesday.
Then we won't turn up.

Fuck them, no one puts baby in a corner.

[Trinity765]

While I was out today a pigeon gained entry through an open window, sat on my monitor and shat all over my desk.

[Yorick]

While I was out today a pigeon gained entry through an open window, sat on my monitor and shat all over my desk.

[Asian Boss]

Not so. I'm currently looking at a six bedroom Victorian farmhouse well above the threshold you mention. No exclusion.

I didn't turn up in Karl Lagerfeld tracksuit bottoms though.

Did you have to show bank statements to be able to view?

Funnily enough they came back to me last night and said that after considering it for a few days they were willing to make an exception in this case and we can go to view.
My wife said tell them to stick it up their arse, but I told her not to be so hasty, I've arranged for my PA to call them on Monday and ask a lot of detailed questions, find out when they are willing to move out (and whatever they say to push them for an earlier date) then set up a viewing for Tuesday.
Then we won't turn up.

Fuck them, no one puts baby in a corner.

I haven't actually viewed any yet.

[demographic]

Shite garage fourcourt airlines/compressors.
More specifically the ones where you set the pressure and when its reached that pressure it beeps.

For a start, you often can't see the pressure your tyre starts off at and not entirely sure if it's got a slow puncture or what.
Then the beep noise it makes is hard to hear if you're close to a busy road and on the other side from the compressor.
And if all that wasn't enough, jeez the compressors they use seem fucking dog slow.

I'm not bothered at having to use my card to pay for it, thats ok.
Just give me a fucking proper gauge on the end I have in my hand and use a compressor thats not designed for mountain bike tyres.

[Yorick]

Shite garage fourcourt airlines/compressors.
More specifically the ones where you set the pressure and when its reached that pressure it beeps.

For a start, you often can't see the pressure your tyre starts off at and not entirely sure if it's got a slow puncture or what.
Then the beep noise it makes is hard to hear if you're close to a busy road and on the other side from the compressor.
And if all that wasn't enough, jeez the compressors they use seem fucking dog slow.

I'm not bothered at having to use my card to pay for it, thats ok.
Just give me a fucking proper gauge on the end I have in my hand and use a compressor thats not designed for mountain bike tyres.

[weeksy]

Is it 1978?

[Felix]

Is it 1978?

Not in my van

https://www.screwfix.com/p/makita-dmp18 ... &gclsrc=ds

[demographic]

Is it 1978?

Not in my van

https://www.screwfix.com/p/makita-dmp18 ... &gclsrc=ds

I've nothing against the brand as such but I don't have a single Makita cordless powertool.
Hitachi? Yes.
De-Walt? Yes.
Festool? Yes.


Also I kind of believe in multiple redundancy on things that might leave me stranded and although I have a compressor I can plug into my fag lighter socket, I'd rather not use it if I'm close to a decent garage airline.

[Felix]

30 quid

https://www.aldi.co.uk/12v-cordless-min ... 3560995201

Its been re branded that many times in other shops i dare say the battery is available when the original goes tits up. My bus is about 6 meters long and has six wheels. Fuck dicking about at a garage shit tyre inflator machine. I also have air suspension what has been converted to manual inflate.

[Jody]

I'd just shag her and move on.

You really wouldn't... not even for a bet !

[Yorick]

I'd just shag her and move on.

You really wouldn't... not even for a bet !

Beer goggles

beer-goggles-1.jpg (23.13 KiB) Viewed 645 times

[Jody]

I'd just shag her and move on.

You really wouldn't... not even for a bet !

Beer goggles

beer-goggles-1.jpg

Yeah but no, I was socialising with her recently and I was absolutely battered and despite it being a few months since I got any, I remember looking at her and thinking.... still no