Jokes Thread

[Felix]

I dont expect misery guys will raise a smile at this either

[Trinity765]

A new organisation chart has been released following the "partygate" series of resignations.

[JackyJoll]

[Taipan]

Strip down facing me, said the cashier! By the time I relaised she meant my debit card, it was too late!

[Taipan]

[Felix]

[JackyJoll]

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

[Trinity765]

[Taipan]

[Yorick]

Would you be interested in a ride in a helicopter for 4 people? We’re still looking for 2 more adults to join us. We leave early Saturday morning (March 12th) from Lanzarote airport and will fly to Gran Canaria where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a yacht.
Then we’ll do a flight over the Coast, returning to Lanzarote for dinner. If you know anyone that might be interested, let me know.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go...

[Taipan]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?


























Put it in the microwave until its bill withers...

[KungFooBob]

[KungFooBob]

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists

[Horse]

274231238_2114401258724511_6058856838704350999_n.jpg (92.27 KiB) Viewed 459 times

[slowsider]

274231238_2114401258724511_6058856838704350999_n.jpg

Tall boy on the front, fatman on the back

[Horse]

274231238_2114401258724511_6058856838704350999_n.jpg

Tall boy on the front, fatman on the back

'Tallboy'? That'll be lost on the youngsters

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

Putin' on the Ritz...