Funny story…….
- wull
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Funny story…….
I was looking through some old bike pics and came across this one of my 5eb R6 which reminded me of the story that I am about to tell. Funnily enough this picture was taken on the Friday I believe and the incident happened on the Sunday but the set up was the exact same with the luggage, I also had a backpack on albeit I cannot remember what was in it.
I had ridden down from Killin Scotland to Metheringham Lincolnshire without any drama, no problems whatsoever, well that’s not entirely true, a small issue with not being able to select gears but that was sorted once I was there. I then enjoyed the bike meet for the weekend before heading home, a fair old slog, I fuelled up the usual amount of times before having to fuel again which would be the last time at the Stirling services, at this point I have probably ridden for 300+ miles without any incident.
I always arrive at the fuel pumps and fuel up whilst sitting on the bike, I always put the side stand down before doing so and once I have fuelled up I close the fuel cap and lean the bike over on to the side stand. This is where I fucked up! I had not put the side stand down, oh fuck!
As I have leant the bike over thinking it would stop at any moment it just kept going, I knew immediately that I obviously had not put the stand down, and tried with all my might and strength to stop it from falling, which I did. At not one point did the bike hit the ground, but it was so far over that I could not lift it back up, there was no chance, with the luggage and my backpack it just was not going to happen. Sadly, there was nobody in the forecourt, I was just there trying to stop the bike from falling like a proper dickhead, when I finally made eye contact with the cashier……….who happened to be a woman.
She finally came out and as she approached she said “what do you want me to do”………I replied saying “if you start or try to pull it up I should manage to get the bike up” which is exactly what happened. As she started pulling on it (bike) I was able to get the bike back upright. What a Fanny! I was so embarrassed, riding all that way fuelling up numerous times with no incident and then as I am on the home stretch I made a cunt of myself.
I wish I had the cctv footage as I am sure it would be funny to watch.
Another funny story about this bike.
The clocks used to fail from time to time and there was a stage where they would not work for a long time, so I purchased a set of used clocks from eBay and before they had arrived I was commuting to work one morning when a deer came bounding across the road in front of me glancing the front wheel causing a tank slapped which sorted itself quickly, miraculously the clocks started working again.
They never stopped working after that.
I had ridden down from Killin Scotland to Metheringham Lincolnshire without any drama, no problems whatsoever, well that’s not entirely true, a small issue with not being able to select gears but that was sorted once I was there. I then enjoyed the bike meet for the weekend before heading home, a fair old slog, I fuelled up the usual amount of times before having to fuel again which would be the last time at the Stirling services, at this point I have probably ridden for 300+ miles without any incident.
I always arrive at the fuel pumps and fuel up whilst sitting on the bike, I always put the side stand down before doing so and once I have fuelled up I close the fuel cap and lean the bike over on to the side stand. This is where I fucked up! I had not put the side stand down, oh fuck!
As I have leant the bike over thinking it would stop at any moment it just kept going, I knew immediately that I obviously had not put the stand down, and tried with all my might and strength to stop it from falling, which I did. At not one point did the bike hit the ground, but it was so far over that I could not lift it back up, there was no chance, with the luggage and my backpack it just was not going to happen. Sadly, there was nobody in the forecourt, I was just there trying to stop the bike from falling like a proper dickhead, when I finally made eye contact with the cashier……….who happened to be a woman.
She finally came out and as she approached she said “what do you want me to do”………I replied saying “if you start or try to pull it up I should manage to get the bike up” which is exactly what happened. As she started pulling on it (bike) I was able to get the bike back upright. What a Fanny! I was so embarrassed, riding all that way fuelling up numerous times with no incident and then as I am on the home stretch I made a cunt of myself.
I wish I had the cctv footage as I am sure it would be funny to watch.
Another funny story about this bike.
The clocks used to fail from time to time and there was a stage where they would not work for a long time, so I purchased a set of used clocks from eBay and before they had arrived I was commuting to work one morning when a deer came bounding across the road in front of me glancing the front wheel causing a tank slapped which sorted itself quickly, miraculously the clocks started working again.
They never stopped working after that.
- KungFooBob
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Re: Funny story…….
I dropped my 5EB on top of myself when I stopped to pick up a knee slider I'd lost on a corner.
The bike was pretty much brand new, so I didn't want to crawl out and let the bike touch the ground, so I just stayed there until a bloke walking his dog came and lifted it off me
The bike was pretty much brand new, so I didn't want to crawl out and let the bike touch the ground, so I just stayed there until a bloke walking his dog came and lifted it off me
- Rockburner
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Re: Funny story…….
We've all done it.
I spent about 3 months riding the Mirth back and forth to work with no sidestand at all, (it fell off during a rather spirited VDCR Rideout and disappeared into a housing estate), just leaning the bike against convenient walls when necessary. Got a few odd looks from the petrol station staff when I'd lean it against the pump, but none ever said anything.
I spent about 3 months riding the Mirth back and forth to work with no sidestand at all, (it fell off during a rather spirited VDCR Rideout and disappeared into a housing estate), just leaning the bike against convenient walls when necessary. Got a few odd looks from the petrol station staff when I'd lean it against the pump, but none ever said anything.
non quod, sed quomodo
- Skub
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Re: Funny story…….
Rear paddock stands have been my downfall in the past.
They are sneaky things,just waiting for any opportunity to spoil your day.
Complacency is the thing that gets you in the end. When taking the bike off the rear stand I alway have the sidestand down,so the series of well practiced movements are muscle memory and devoid of thought.
Handlebars slightly to the left,left hand on tailpiece,right hand lifts the stand away,then the bike drops onto the sidestand,by which time I'm already walking away.
Except I'd been cleaning in around the sidestand and hadn't put it back down.
Another one in the 70s with my Z1. It started to fall away from me after coming off the mainstand,so I had a firm hold of the left grip and began hauling it upright,which was a great plan until the left grip came off the bars. Me on my arse one direction and the bike in among the hedge.
They are sneaky things,just waiting for any opportunity to spoil your day.
Complacency is the thing that gets you in the end. When taking the bike off the rear stand I alway have the sidestand down,so the series of well practiced movements are muscle memory and devoid of thought.
Handlebars slightly to the left,left hand on tailpiece,right hand lifts the stand away,then the bike drops onto the sidestand,by which time I'm already walking away.
Except I'd been cleaning in around the sidestand and hadn't put it back down.
Another one in the 70s with my Z1. It started to fall away from me after coming off the mainstand,so I had a firm hold of the left grip and began hauling it upright,which was a great plan until the left grip came off the bars. Me on my arse one direction and the bike in among the hedge.
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
- Horse
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Re: Funny story…….
Anyone use one of those sidestand 'puck' things for when parked on soft ground?
So how do you park the bike, without it falling over, when you're heading off and have removed the puck from under the stand?
If you have one, here's a top tip:
Drill a hole in the edge, then tie one end of 1.5m of plastic 'string' or binder twine, whatever.
When you park, drop the puck while you're sat on the bike, manoeuvre the bike and stand onto it. Tie the loose end to the bars, mirror.
When you're leaving, sit on the bike, lift it off the puck, reel in the string and puck. Pocket. And away.
Even bland can be a type of character
- Scotsrich
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Re: Funny story…….
Was on my Sprint GT with Mrs S pillion.
I came to a narrow bridge and pulled to the left to let a car coming the other way get past.
I put my foot down but the road was worn away and the bike toppled over and was left leaning against the parapet. We couldn’t get off as the bike was leaning too heavily and I couldn’t even get my foot down to lift it up. I managed to get my foot against the parapet and lever it up but I couldn’t quite get it vertical which in turn meant I couldn’t take my foot off the parapet and put it onto the ground.
I had to try 2 or 3 times till I managed to get it upright enough to get my other foot down and in gear to get moving.
Some twat in a van was behind me when all this was going on and he drove round me and carried on.
I came to a narrow bridge and pulled to the left to let a car coming the other way get past.
I put my foot down but the road was worn away and the bike toppled over and was left leaning against the parapet. We couldn’t get off as the bike was leaning too heavily and I couldn’t even get my foot down to lift it up. I managed to get my foot against the parapet and lever it up but I couldn’t quite get it vertical which in turn meant I couldn’t take my foot off the parapet and put it onto the ground.
I had to try 2 or 3 times till I managed to get it upright enough to get my other foot down and in gear to get moving.
Some twat in a van was behind me when all this was going on and he drove round me and carried on.
- Skub
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Re: Funny story…….
I bet you were a boy scout.Horse wrote: ↑Sun Jan 02, 2022 1:29 pm Anyone use one of those sidestand 'puck' things for when parked on soft ground?
So how do you park the bike, without it falling over, when you're heading off and have removed the puck from under the stand?
If you have one, here's a top tip:
Drill a hole in the edge, then tie one end of 1.5m of plastic 'string' or binder twine, whatever.
When you park, drop the puck while you're sat on the bike, manoeuvre the bike and stand onto it. Tie the loose end to the bars, mirror.
When you're leaving, sit on the bike, lift it off the puck, reel in the string and puck. Pocket. And away.
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
- DefTrap
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Re: Funny story…….
I just used to lean down and pick it up, mind you I was younger ...
I always wished I was the one who'd thought of flogging a bagful at a quid each at muddy showgrounds
Or could find an old coke can as an alternative
Re: Funny story…….
An old friend (Pete rip fella ) parked up at home and fell the wrong way into a hedge on his zephyr 1100 and got stuck half in the hedge under his bike, he was calling for his mum for ages till she finally came out and sorted out a rescue.
- Horse
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Re: Funny story…….
Try that when you're a wimpy short-arse sat on a K100RT ...
A mate was at an event where a wooden fence was gradually dismantled
Even bland can be a type of character
- Taipan
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Re: Funny story…….
I used to work in a garage and wore a boiler suit. At the time I had a RD250 and used to go home for dinner. I pulled up at the traffic lights and went to put my feet down, but unbeknown to me, the trouser leg of my boiler suit had gone over my kickstart and I couldn't get my foot down. As I frantically tried to kick out the weight bias went to that side and I fell onto a Morris Marina. I managed to push myself back up and the lights changed and I fooked off!
- wull
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- Noggin
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Re: Funny story…….
Might be a bit confusing as there's a 'show us what you learned on' thread - some of us might not easily be able to see the difference!! LOL
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!!
- Noggin
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Re: Funny story…….
My stupidest story was the first time I went to the TT to marshal. (I've tipped over a few times, sadly, of course now I understand mostly why, so have to concentrate more getting on and off!! LOL)
But anyway, the story!
I pulled into a field at the 11th milestone - where I'd been told to go to marshal - and the kid at the gate pointed up for me to park. Me being a bit spesh/nervous/relatively new to bikes followed his pointed finger UP the field, turned right on a grassy hill and promptly fell down the hill with the Blackbird on top of me!!
Of course, all the older marshals were like - WTF did you drive up there?? Lack of knowledge, nerves and following destructions!!
Luckily it was all a bit soft so the bike wasn't damaged and I was so new to bikes that I only felt stupid for a few hours and then forgot about it!!
But anyway, the story!
I pulled into a field at the 11th milestone - where I'd been told to go to marshal - and the kid at the gate pointed up for me to park. Me being a bit spesh/nervous/relatively new to bikes followed his pointed finger UP the field, turned right on a grassy hill and promptly fell down the hill with the Blackbird on top of me!!
Of course, all the older marshals were like - WTF did you drive up there?? Lack of knowledge, nerves and following destructions!!
Luckily it was all a bit soft so the bike wasn't damaged and I was so new to bikes that I only felt stupid for a few hours and then forgot about it!!
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!!
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Re: Funny story…….
This thread brings back so many memories, my apprentice overalls (otherwise known as Cranebank leathers) getting caught on the footpeg when stopping at traffic lights - sometimes they'd pull free, sometimes not, over you go!
My mate and I going up Hardknott pass when a car stalled in front and started to roll back, he tried holding it on the front brake, nah - over you go! His RD400 was bought in a box and put together by us, first outing was that weeks holiday to the Lakes - 5 times it ended up on the deck, once on top of him whilst he was asleep in his tent.
Pushing the button to warm up my RE5 before leaving Bassenthwaite to ride back South, no side stand/neutral interlock on that and I had left it in gear to stop it rolling down the slope. Bike fired up straight away and chugged off a few feet with me alongside struggling in vain to keep it upright, nah - over you go!
My mate and I going up Hardknott pass when a car stalled in front and started to roll back, he tried holding it on the front brake, nah - over you go! His RD400 was bought in a box and put together by us, first outing was that weeks holiday to the Lakes - 5 times it ended up on the deck, once on top of him whilst he was asleep in his tent.
Pushing the button to warm up my RE5 before leaving Bassenthwaite to ride back South, no side stand/neutral interlock on that and I had left it in gear to stop it rolling down the slope. Bike fired up straight away and chugged off a few feet with me alongside struggling in vain to keep it upright, nah - over you go!
- Horse
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Re: Funny story…….
No idea why I ever thought this was a good idea, but ...Hairybiker84 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 03, 2022 11:37 am Bike fired up straight away and chugged off a few feet with me alongside struggling in vain to keep it upright, nah - over you go!
My CX500 was so smooth running that I could ride in first gear with the clutch fully engaged, climb off, walk alongside just gently holding the left bar, then climb back on again.
I say 'climb' because I'm a short arse and they're tall bikes
Even bland can be a type of character
- dern
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Re: Funny story…….
I got off my cbr1000 without putting the sidestand down and it fell on me.
I put my foot down while parking the 1190 and found that the floor wasn't there as I was on a hill and it fell on me.
Idiot bikes.
I put my foot down while parking the 1190 and found that the floor wasn't there as I was on a hill and it fell on me.
Idiot bikes.
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Re: Funny story…….
Fairly recently out on a trail ride and I swapped my EXC400 for another guys 300TPI. We stopped just prior to a fairly deep ford so I said to him we'd better swap back as I don't want to risk swamping your bike, OK he said and then promptly toppled off to the right and ended up stuck under my bike, at least he saved it from any damage Another case of the floor being further away than anticipated
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Re: Funny story…….
This one time I was on the far east and accidentally killed a sex worker and had to pay some locals $1500 to get rid of the body.
To a kid looking up to me, life ain't nothing but bitches and money.