Jokes Thread

General chat topics, anything and everything you want or need to discuss
JackyJoll
Posts: 3731
Joined: Sun May 03, 2020 10:11 pm
Has thanked: 261 times
Been thanked: 1265 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

MrLongbeard wrote: Mon Dec 20, 2021 10:13 am
Horse wrote: Mon Dec 20, 2021 9:53 am Well, allegedly it was a work meeting. So nice to now know that the country is being run by a bunch of half-pissed people including one who brings his OH into meetings. Oh and no notebooks, laptops or tablets in evidence, so no traceability or record keeping.

Oh, what? We knew all that already? ;)
Fuck off and moan in the 1001 covid / brexit / politics / bozo threads and leave the jokes thread in blissful ignorance.

Wait- there may be a punchline coming.
JackyJoll
Posts: 3731
Joined: Sun May 03, 2020 10:11 pm
Has thanked: 261 times
Been thanked: 1265 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Horse wrote: Tue Dec 21, 2021 10:02 am Uh-oh, you're gonna get flamed :D
That one actually is a joke, though.
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6195 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

JackyJoll wrote: Tue Dec 21, 2021 10:05 am
Horse wrote: Tue Dec 21, 2021 10:02 am Uh-oh, you're gonna get flamed :D
That one actually is a joke, though.
I can't win. After years of avoiding it, I post an 'amusing cat' image on the Internet. But no, you don't want that, you want funny and political. WTaF? I'm not on Mock the Week you know.

:D
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Mussels
Posts: 4441
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 9:02 pm
Has thanked: 836 times
Been thanked: 1239 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mussels »

The cat was funnier.
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13949
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15960 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Put this on your facebook page...


Can someone help me out please? I know Henry VIII had 6 wives. There was Catherine of Aragon, Ann Boleyn, Ann of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr, but for the life of me I can’t remember the surname of Jane…..See more
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16741
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10266 times
Been thanked: 6886 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

Taipan wrote: Tue Dec 21, 2021 12:09 pm Put this on your facebook page...


Can someone help me out please? I know Henry VIII had 6 wives. There was Catherine of Aragon, Ann Boleyn, Ann of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr, but for the life of me I can’t remember the surname of Jane…..See more
Have you been opening the crackers early?
User avatar
KungFooBob
Posts: 14204
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:04 pm
Location: The content of this post is not AI generated.
Has thanked: 539 times
Been thanked: 7532 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

Image
JackyJoll
Posts: 3731
Joined: Sun May 03, 2020 10:11 pm
Has thanked: 261 times
Been thanked: 1265 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Horse wrote: Tue Dec 21, 2021 9:03 am 269770554_5076585542374897_6861907598654563214_n.jpg
Ginger.
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13949
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15960 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
User avatar
KungFooBob
Posts: 14204
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:04 pm
Location: The content of this post is not AI generated.
Has thanked: 539 times
Been thanked: 7532 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

Taipan wrote: Thu Dec 23, 2021 6:37 pm Image
Was it Jasper Carrot who used to do the routine about the stuff people put on insurance forms?
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13949
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15960 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

KungFooBob wrote: Thu Dec 23, 2021 6:39 pm
Taipan wrote: Thu Dec 23, 2021 6:37 pm Image
Was it Jasper Carrot who used to do the routine about the stuff people put on insurance forms?
User avatar
MingtheMerciless
Posts: 3554
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:42 am
Location: Scarfolk on Sea
Has thanked: 2943 times
Been thanked: 1883 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by MingtheMerciless »

9D17943B-C788-4EAD-B160-F8289B2C0F25.jpeg
9D17943B-C788-4EAD-B160-F8289B2C0F25.jpeg (756.46 KiB) Viewed 808 times
"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?"
"My dear Doctor, they're all true."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies."
User avatar
Yambo
Posts: 2470
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:08 pm
Location: Self Isolating
Has thanked: 598 times
Been thanked: 1647 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yambo »

MingtheMerciless wrote: Fri Dec 24, 2021 5:52 am 9D17943B-C788-4EAD-B160-F8289B2C0F25.jpeg
My friend Maureen thinks that's funny so she's sending it to her son in law, Tommy Bridewell 😃
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16741
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10266 times
Been thanked: 6886 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

Screenshot_20211222-121101_Gallery.jpg
Screenshot_20211222-121101_Gallery.jpg (294.59 KiB) Viewed 749 times
JackyJoll
Posts: 3731
Joined: Sun May 03, 2020 10:11 pm
Has thanked: 261 times
Been thanked: 1265 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Image
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6195 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

20211226_090508.jpg
20211226_090508.jpg (124.19 KiB) Viewed 712 times
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
User avatar
MingtheMerciless
Posts: 3554
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:42 am
Location: Scarfolk on Sea
Has thanked: 2943 times
Been thanked: 1883 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by MingtheMerciless »

0D5490F3-63AE-45B0-9CC8-446E149738A1.jpeg
0D5490F3-63AE-45B0-9CC8-446E149738A1.jpeg (32.77 KiB) Viewed 698 times
"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?"
"My dear Doctor, they're all true."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies."
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16741
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10266 times
Been thanked: 6886 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

I've just bought a Humpty Dumpty toy from Aldi, it's brilliant.

It comes with Aldi Kings Horses and Aldi Kings Men
slowsider
Posts: 3189
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 3:45 pm
Location: RoI
Has thanked: 1264 times
Been thanked: 1188 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by slowsider »

We had some youngsters over for xmas, the age where they ask all sorts of questions. The youngest has no filter, so when he asked where poo comes from, I gave him an honest answer. There was a stunned silence, then he said, "and Tigger?".
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13949
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15960 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Dear Essex forum memebers,

Please Don’t Drink & Drive over the Festive Period.

If you want to drive safely I have a team that can help you for Free.
Please Call or Private Message me 24 hours in advance so that the necessary arrangements can be made.
I have an Experienced Team of People here that are happy to help.
We will come and Drink for you, so you can Drive Safely.

Merry Christmas.